<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Making a deal with the devil by NyxDistari</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23616547">Making a deal with the devil</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxDistari/pseuds/NyxDistari'>NyxDistari</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dreamer Trilogy - Maggie Stiefvater, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blackmail, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Werewolf, pynch - Freeform, vampire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:49:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>62,262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23616547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxDistari/pseuds/NyxDistari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aglionby Private School for boys and Ulverston Private School for girls were the two most prestigious schools that Henrietta could offer, with extremely difficult entry requirements.<br/>Must have a resting heart rate of 0 beats per minute, have a minor allergy to sunshine and enjoy the taste of human blood.<br/>But despite having the best education possible the school board and the staff were easily fooled.<br/>Adam had been posing as a vampire for the last six months and no one had the slightest idea. Vampires had brightly coloured eyes, his own bright blue eyes could easily pass as those of a blood sucker but he was paranoid of being angered and having his eyes reveal his secret. When a werewolf is truly provoked and unable to control their anger their eyes begin to glow brilliant silver, the colour of the bullet so deadly to them. So far Adam had managed to control his anger at school, but Aglionby boys were bastards and it was only a matter of time.<br/>--<br/>This fic is essentially a Adam/werewolf and Ronan/vampire fanfiction with Kavinsky being a bastard but I promise you it isn't written like a half-assed fantasy crossover. It has a decent plot so give it a shot ;)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch &amp; Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Aglionby boys are bastards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks for giving my lil ol fic a shot!<br/>I've had a lot of time on my hands due to the quarantine I'm sure we've all had because of the corona virus and I'm going to use it to write.<br/>I've had this fic in the works for a few months and had planned to only release chapters when I finish but I figured releasing one a week will encourage me to write more.<br/>So, here we go!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lying was a natural human action; to say that you have never lied is a lie itself. Most lie about the little things like their feelings, their plans for the day, claiming to have read a book that they have not. Then there are practiced liars, who tell little truth and feel little remorse.<br/>
Adam Parrish had been a practiced liar for so long that he almost fell for the lie himself.<br/>
Some lied for attention, others for cruelness, but Adam lied for survival. It was a lie that he had to battle with tooth and claw (quite literally) and if he were to tell the truth now he would lose everything he had worked for, and then his life.<br/>
Werewolves were dirt half-breeds; there was no pride in being half animal. They were raised in the blurred lines between humanity and the animal kingdom, feeding on junk food and junk people alike. In recent years they had became more human than animal but they remained as a lower class in the world.<br/>
On the top of the hierarchy came the Kings and Queens of the world; the vampires. They were raised to become the rulers of what life sources they allowed to live in the world. They fed on a mix of human and animal blood so that both species could still thrive and populate, they would never thirst over the blood of a werewolf, claiming from truth or lie that it was worse than the blood of a filthy sewer rat.<br/>
Adam Parrish believed he was born to rise to some sort of power, it was his own truth. The second part of his truth was that he was born to a drunken Father and a vacant Mother, forced to grow up in a desolate trailer park surrounded by all the members of his species that had simply given up when their truth had became apparent.<br/>
A large quantity of werewolves lived as middle class and a rare amount even rose higher through hard or dirty work. But even those higher class werewolves were restricted to public high schools.<br/>
Aglionby Private School for boys and Ulverston Private School for girls were the two most prestigious schools that Henrietta could offer, with extremely difficult entry requirements.<br/>
Must have a resting heart rate of 0 beats per minute, have a minor allergy to sunshine and enjoy the taste of human blood.<br/>
But despite having the best education possible the school board and the staff were easily fooled.<br/>
Adam had been posing as a vampire for the last six months and no one had the slightest idea. Every morning he pushed fangs into his mouth and covered his own eyes with contacts. Vampires had brightly coloured eyes, his own bright blue eyes could easily pass as those of a blood sucker but he was paranoid of being angered and having his eyes reveal his secret. When a werewolf is truly provoked and unable to control their anger their eyes begin to glow brilliant silver, the colour of the bullet so deadly to them, and their nails elongate to a deadly length.<br/>
So far Adam had managed to control his anger at school, but Aglionby boys were bastards and it was only a matter of time.</p><p>“What’s the time little wolf?”<br/>
Adam had been so deep in thought, not to mention overworked and overtired, that he hadn’t even noticed the ‘Mitsubishi’ pull up beside him. The car itself wasn’t what sent a shock down his spine, but rather the boy inside of it. Joseph Kavinsky was the bastard that other bastards hated. A boy so vile that only scum would befriend him, even Ronan Lynch – the bastard that other bastards aspired to be- swam through lava to get away from Kavinsky. He was a Bulgarian mobster who spent his days high and his nights higher. Adam had thought himself too boring for the mobster’s eyes but apparently something had spiked his interest.<br/>
“I’m talking to you, little wolf.” Kavinsky yelled out of his car window as he slowed down next to Adam.<br/>
He wasn’t too taken aback by the word choice Kavinsky used. In Aglionby the boys used the word ‘wolf’ and all connotations of the animal as slurs and Adam had long stopped being offended by it. The only alarming part of Kavinsky words were that they were aimed at Adam, he thought himself too uninteresting for the mobster’s time.<br/>
“It’s not nice to ignore you’re superiors Adam Parrish.”<br/>
His plan had always been to avoid attention, keeping all eyes off of vampire Adam meant not risking the truth of werewolf Adam, but he held too much pride in his slumped restless werewolf body and he refused to let scum like Joseph Kavinsky address him as inferior- even if he was.<br/>
“Joseph, can I help you?” He spat sharply, rocking back on the heel of his battered off-brand converse, holding in any reaction when a rock poked into one of the many holes on the bottom of his shoe.<br/>
“I believe you can. I believe that you, Adam Parrish, are the only person in this whole damn town that can help me.” He said with a smile, not a kind one but one you would imagine a serial killer to throw at you before the knife came down.<br/>
He debated walking away, he had work in an hour and still had to do his calculus homework before he left considering he wouldn’t finish until midnight and would be crashing into bed at the earliest minute. But, if he left he knew that Kavinsky would follow, he was the kind of boy that wasn’t used to being ignored, and if he wanted something from Adam he would do everything he could to get it, including following him to his work and creating chaos.<br/>
“I’ve not got all day, Kavinsky.” Adam snapped.<br/>
“Cars to chase?” He asked, tilting his head playfully. “Look, get in the car and I’ll tell you my proposition.”<br/>
Fear began to creep up Adam’s skin like a snake, it made home around his neck and pulled slowly, restricting breath. Kavinsky spoke as if he had knowledge, as though secrets were no barrier for him and he collected them the way some collect antiques- at large and carefully.<br/>
“Why on earth would I do that? There are easier ways to get a beating.” Adam grumbled as he made the bold decision to continue walking away, knowing that it wouldn’t work but knowing it was better than whatever was in the mobster’s car.<br/>
“You’d know all about beatings wouldn’t you?” Adam didn’t turn to face Kavinsky but he stopped a few paces away from the car, frozen. “Poor Adam, unloved by his trailer park trash Father, uncared for by his whining broken Mother.”<br/>
“Screw you.” Adam growled, a slight animalistic tone coming out.<br/>
“In all honestly, Parrish, if I were to become a furry you be my first, in fact you’d have a hard time keeping my pants up every time you walked past me.” Adam was in the middle of dissecting Kavinsky’s vile words with mental gloves and disinfectant when he felt the coolness of metal on his wrist. The boy had moved so fast, the glorious speed of a vampire, and had gotten his knife rested on Adam’s vein before he could attempt to move. "Now, get in the car like a good little werewolf before I get mad.”<br/>
After that Adam couldn’t muster up any sort of logical thought that would keep him away from the car, it seemed as though he was at a crossroad and each path was a grave deeper than the one before. Joseph Kavinsky’s car was simply the grave that allowed a little sunlight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kavinsky's plan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for giving this a shot! I hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Werewolf’s had the potential to live as human, animal or the perfect mix of the two. For the majority of his day Adam would stay in human form but when cornered and threatened by Kavinsky he had little choice in entering what they call ‘Half-form’. Young wolfs are given intensive anger management classes so that they have the willpower to resist the changing when annoyed, but it takes many more years than those Adam had lived to be able to resist it completely.<br/>His ‘Wolf-form’ was easier to sub-due. It only came out when he felt such intense anger that he abandoned all coherent thoughts, or when he was insatiably hungry. <br/> His wolf was smaller than most, with light brown fur and a dainty chest he often passed for a young female, but he could run faster than any other male he had ever raced. His Fathers wolf was large with a fluffy sturdy chest but for every mile he ran Adam would be five ahead and one day he would be thousands. <br/>Vampires were not half human, they were 100% creature. Though their fangs resembled the canines on a werewolf’s top jaw they had neither ability nor desire to hide them. They had the eye colour of humans but with the brightness level turned up to the highest possible intensity. Adam’s naturally striking eyes were dull in comparison and he could never find contacts that fully resembled the creatures and so he wore the best fakes he could find and tried to avoid eye contact. He had managed to do so perfectly- until Latin class.<br/>Ronan Lynch was infamous for being a nasty prick with a range of body-art and a bad attitude. Since the start of the school year Ronan had claimed the back row of Latin along with Kavinsky -though they always kept the gap of three empty chairs between them as a barrier- and Lynch mostly kept to himself other than snide comments and rapid answers that made every other student feel worthless. <br/>Despite being close friends with Aglionby golden boy Richard Gansey, Ronan had no manners and no likeable traits that called to Adam until he got a closer look. <br/>Due to his impaired hearing Adam sat at the front of class every chance he could get, he disliked asking the teachers to repeat themselves in fear they would do so closer to him and get a closer look at his eye contacts. He also found it easier to avoid classmates as very little of them enjoyed the first row other than outcasts and nerds- Ronan Lynch was neither of these and yet Adam found him sitting on the chair right beside his own on the first row. <br/>As he sat down on his usual chair he risked a glance at the back row in confusion and accidently locked eyes with Kavinsky. Adam didn’t break eye contact at first even though his wolf howled for it, his body was half cowardice and half pride and both battled for dominance. Eventually, when Kavinsky’s ugly face became too much for his eyes he turned around to see Tad Carruthers, who usually sat next to Adam and annoyed him relentlessly, prance into the room with the grace of a vampire but none of the coolness. He stood in front of Ronan, clearly nervous but still standing tall.  <br/>“Lynch, I regret to inform you that you’re in the wrong seat.” <br/>Ronan didn’t even give Tad the pleasure of eye contact. “Regret it somewhere else.” He grumbled, chewing on the ends of a couple leather bracelets. <br/>Tad came from a well known family of powerful vampires but genetics can sometimes skip a generation, Tad had none of the strength or authority that his family held and up against a nasty marvel such as Ronan Lynch, he had no chance. And so he flashed a tiny sliver of fang at Ronan and then fled away to an empty seat, giving Adam a brief mournful glance.  <br/>Adam stared at Ronan for a minute or two, taking a closer look at the infamous vampire bastard that he had heard all about. <br/>Ronan was mean.<br/>Ronan was traumatised and trauma itself. <br/>Ronan was the stone that all vampires had been made from, a poster child for vampire excellence. <br/>But Ronan also had the smell of farm land buried into him.<br/>Ronan had scars covered by leather bracelets.<br/>Ronan was passing Latin at the highest mark in the class, and yet he moved seats half way through the school year. <br/>“See something you like, Parrish?” <br/>Those were the first words Ronan had ever said to him. <br/>Adam hadn’t noticed that as he studied Ronan, Ronan studied him.<br/>The cowardice in Adam yelped to look away and ignore Ronan, but the pride had been winning the war lately and so he refused to look away, keeping his cheap eye contacts positioned straight into Ronan’s indescribable cobalt blue eyes. <br/>“Quite the opposite really,” Adam shrugged. It was a lie, everything about Ronan’s look was pleasing to his eyes, but his personality and his reputation were the things Adam despised. On nights Adam slept as a wolf to keep warm in his shitty heatless apartment Ronan chased Joseph Kavinsky around in his priceless car with the heating on full blast. <br/>“Ouch.” Ronan clutched at his heart dramatically though his face was emotionless. That was the strange thing about Ronan, half of his body could scream at you whilst the other barely whispered, he was an anomaly in the dramatic world of the supernatural. <br/>Those few words they exchanged that day seemed to be the sole reason Adam had a knife to his neck and a drastic hole in his lie.<br/>“You can’t be serious.” He said to Kavinsky, annoyed at how little it could take for his life to be in serious danger. <br/>Joseph Kavinsky, scum of the earth, had a school boy crush on the boy he tormented and bantered with. He had a severe case of pulling pig tails and the plan to pull more when Ronan’s attention faltered for a single minute. And so after those very few words Ronan gave Adam Kavinsky got to work investigating him. He would have had to work hard getting Adam’s original home address, he had buried it deep before starting at Aglionby, and then he would have realised how odd it was that Adam Parrish, vampire, came from a family of werewolves. Somehow he bypassed the idea that Adam was adopted and went straight for the truth, that he was a very skilled liar. <br/>“I’m very serious, dog.” Kavinsky spat. <br/>“Ronan moved closer to the front of the class, he didn’t ask me for my hand in marriage.” Adam growled, letting his teeth elongate so harshly that they broke his fake fangs into pieces. His eye contacts remained in though his silver eyes no doubt shone through.  <br/>“You don’t understand Ronan Lynch very well.”<br/>“How could I when our conversation is limited to less words than what is on the back of a pack of gum.” Adam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The rich seemed to be so rich that their only problem in life was getting the person they desired. As Adam struggled to survive Kavinsky stalked him and abducted him, just to get some attention off someone who clearly couldn’t give a shit about him.<br/>Kavinsky had a group of dangerous and uncouth boys that followed him around and no doubt done his dirty work for him, but Kavinsky wasn’t capable of showing them enough love to make it a friendship. Ronan, on the other hand, had friends. He had two boys who would follow him to ends of the earth, but wouldn’t let him intimidate them. So, Ronan Lynch was more than capable of loving someone, he just didn’t care for Kavinsky.<br/>“Ronan has an eye for the unique and beautiful,” Kavinsky said with a smirk, as if he truly thought he understand the boy that he desired.  “And even though you’re only the product of a human who loved her dog a little too much, you’re the poster boy for unique beauty.”<br/>Adam ignored the dog comment completely. He was unbothered by the vampire’s ideas of how werewolves came about considering he knew himself that he was the product of a species that came before the humans. But he did have to swallow down vomit at the idea of Joseph Kavinsky finding him beautiful.<br/>“If you’re so infatuated with Ronan why make me ask him out?” Adam asked. <br/>“Because, you’re going to break his heart, into pieces, and then he’ll come crawling to be, more broken than ever.” Kavinsky said, practically salivating at the idea of a mentally void Ronan Lynch. <br/> “You’re a pathetic prick, Kavinsky you know that?” <br/>Kavinsky pushed his knife harder and Adam felt a cool drip of blood on his neck before he smelt the metallic aroma of it. “You stink.” Kavinsky said, though his pupils were noticeably more dilated than before. “Your blood stinks, but it wouldn’t stop me. You’re starting to sound just like him, my very own Ronan Lynch but in werewolf form.” <br/>Adam hadn’t meant for his claws to shoot out further, he could see that the vampire was excited by rebellion and didn’t want to add more catalyst to an already bubbling pot, but he was starting to feel fear and his wolf didn’t like it. <br/>For years Adam’s body had been an object for his Father, he had been a growing flower that got its petals torn off time and time again before they could fully grow back. His Father broke his bones as if he believed they were unneeded and worthless and in truth they were, they could not be used to fight back. But he was out now, he had escaped to Henrietta and his body was his and only his, he could not allow it to become Joseph Kavinsky’s. <br/>“How would I get someone like Ronan Lynch to fall in love with me?” Adam asked after some silence. <br/>When Kavinsky laughed it reminded Adam of the noises he could hear outside of his apartment late at night, the foxes fighting over food and squealing with laughter when they made a kill. “Your wolf senses are not doing you well. I could smell the desire from Latin today.”<br/>“My apologies, my nose didn’t really come with an attraction detector.” Adam growled, moving himself further into Kavinsky’s knife, enjoying the stunned look Kavinsky gave him. The trickle of blood came faster, it pained him obviously, but he knew it would heal in no time. Both werewolves and vampires had an astonishing healing time but unlike vampires whose blood actually had healing properties werewolves felt the same amount of pain as humans did and actually felt more pain when it came to healing. <br/>When Adam was around ten years old he asked his Father if he would be able to get his first bike, without any conversation his Father whipped out his pistol and shot his son just under his knee cap. Adam remembered the smell of booze but his Father’s hand has been so steady and his eyes so focused. There was a clean exit wound and the healing only took just under a week but the pain had been excruciating. It felt as though his wound was being cauterized and then re-opened every five minutes. This small knife wound would feel like a paper cut in comparison to the bullet wound but it was still more pain that he had wanted to feel that day. <br/>“Do we have a deal?” Kavinsky asked, his fangs salivating again at the thought of having Ronan, broken and depressed over little old Adam Parrish. <br/>It hit him then how fucked up his life had gotten. No matter what choice he made in the car he was fucked from then on.<br/>If he refused Kavinsky he was dead. The vampires would not appreciate a werewolf infiltrating their esteemed school. And he would die a trashy werewolf from a trailer park, not someone who went through so much hard work and studying just to survive. <br/>If he agreed to Kavinsky’s plan, he became a monster. He would have to create a plan to break Ronan Lynch’s heart for no reason other than his own safety and comfort. <br/>There was no third option. No plot twist. No redemption. <br/>“If I do it, what’s to stop you telling everyone my identity after you have Ronan?” Adam asked. <br/>“That wouldn’t do me any favours. Ronan likes to rescue unwanted and targeted pets, knowing that you were both would soften the pain of heart break and he would want to keep you.” <br/>Adam couldn’t help himself, he knew he would get out of that death mobile faster with his mouth shut, but his mouth moved faster than his intelligence could account for. “Is that why you’re so obsessed with him? You’re angry that you’re the one unwanted pet that even he doesn’t care about.” <br/>Kavinsky smirked slowly and without much movement or time he had his knife breaking the skin on Adam’s leg, he dug it through his leg right down into the car seat, pinning him in place. Involuntarily Adam screamed, and moved to rip the knife out but Kavinsky placed his hand on top and used Adam’s own hand to twist the knife.<br/>“Shhhh, shhhh.” He cooed at Adam mockingly. <br/>“A deal,” Adam rasped. “We have...a deal.”<br/>“Of course we do.” Kavinsky said, pulling the knife so that it was no longer connected to his car seat but still in Adam’s leg. He reached behind Adam, brushing his nose against the boy’s neck, and opened the car door. “Keep the knife- I don’t want to cut myself licking the blood off.” He placed his hands on Adam’s chest and pushed, there didn’t seem to be much strength used and yet Adam flew back with great speed and distance, slamming into the pavement behind him.<br/>Kavinsky drove off uncharacteristically slow, as if making sure Adam knew he would be watched from now on. Once the car was out of sight he got up and checked his wound, the skin had already started to strand together but it would take around two days to completely heal and the pain wouldn’t stop until then. <br/>That gave him two days.<br/>Two days to figure out how he was going to get Ronan Lynch to fall in love with him, so he could break his heart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys, thank you for reading! I will try and post every few days, I'm not sure how many chapters I'll eventually have but it's looking to be around 20/25. <br/>If anyone has any tips on writing or something they think I could work on just let me know in the comments! (kindly please)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Target Acquired</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam Parrish moved so differently. <br/>Like every move he made was on purpose and with purpose. <br/>He didn’t have the typical vampire elegance, though he wasn’t exactly lumbering, and he didn’t seem to have the need to flash fang at every discomfort though he was no coward. <br/>He was like no vampire Ronan had ever met. <br/>Not that he had exactly met Adam, the one conversation they had though sweet with the tone of Adam’s voice was not exactly a romantic first encounter.<br/>The vampire was a true mystery, he appeared in Henrietta one day from the wind, and having neither family nor status- he was a beautiful mystery. <br/>A beautiful mystery was Ronan’s dream type.<br/>The problem was, Ronan was a piece of shit and he knew it.<br/>He wasn’t an unprovoked piece of shit, and he wasn’t a self-made one. Ronan grew up with everything but when his Father was brutally murder right in from of his eyes in a clan rivalry, he wanted nothing.<br/> After the incident it was proposed that Ronan would rise to some sort of high power in their clan, some position just under his brother Declan close enough to create stimulation and friendly rivalry but not so close that Ronan could feel any nature of freedom. He was to attend Aglionby Academy, until they ultimately expelled him, so that he could learn the life lessons and education for his future life, but Ronan refused all songs and calls to his high title. He didn’t care for the live his Father had lived, and he felt no appeal for the life Gansey wanted for him, and he certainly would not entertain living a life like Declan. Once those three options were denied the only one left was to become a piece of shit.<br/> He took his car out late at night against his friend’s pleas and he drove it so many miles over the speed limit that if not for Declan’s power he would be in and out of a jail cell. He drank his blood spiked with whatever alcohol he could get his hands on and passed out in one of Kavinsky’s safe houses- scared that if he stayed at Monmouth he would take his aggression out on his friends and lose the only unbroken things he had left. He was so busy being a piece of shit that he went to less and less classes, though he never missed Latin.<br/>Despite his undeniable flaws, there was more to Ronan Lynch than being a piece of shit. He cared about the people that he loved- which was a grand total of three and a half people. <br/>Matthew Lynch was as sweet as sugar wanted to be and he could make Ronan’s anger dormant with just one smile. He was cute and kind but not in a sickening way, he such a perfect little brother that Ronan thought he must have been cooked up in a lab. <br/>Richard Gansey had a Ronan shaped dent in his shoulder, a place where Ronan would burrow himself in when he faced the darkest moments in his life, a place where he would be reminded that he was neither a lost cause nor a tyrant but a loved friend.<br/>Noah Czerny was a tiny runt of a vampire with imagination and excitement, Ronan could joke around with Noah and know that there was no judgement or resentment when things went wrong. <br/>Blue Sargent was half the size of a normal girl but Ronan was becoming irritably infatuated with her the more he got to know her. She was annoying and weird but she could be strong and mean when she wanted to be and Ronan sort of admired her.  <br/>These three and a half people saw him as more than a piece of shit vampire with self-destructive tendencies and they were truly enough for Ronan, though he longed for someone to hold him in different, softer ways. Specifically, he longed for Adam, but Adam Parrish was too smart for that- and far too pretty. <br/>“What do you think of Adam Parrish?” Noah asked with a smirk. Ronan had always believed that Noah was a vampire from the old legends, one that could read thoughts and emotions, but Noah continually denied the claims.<br/>“He’s shit at Latin,” Ronan lied. “Why?”<br/>“I think he is astounding at Latin,” Gansey butted in as he usually did. “Forgive me for saying so, Ronan, but I do believe he is just as formidable as you, perhaps even slightly better.”<br/>Ronan completely ignored Gansey’s opinion in favour of pinching Noah’s sides. “Why?” He repeated.<br/>“Because,” Noah grinned slowly, his fangs looking childish and unimpressive. “He’s coming this way.” <br/>Human’s often referred to vampires as monsters but it never truly bothered Ronan until he saw Adam Parrish.<br/> His hair was unevenly cropped and a dusty brown colour, his lips were rosy and desirable and his pale face was covered in an explosion of freckles that was most prominent on his nose. Despite the obvious scars and bruises and second-hand uniform there was no part of Adam Parrish that could be called monstrous. <br/>“Hello! Adam come sit with us.” Gansey said, gesturing for Adam to come closer. Gansey was the best example of a people person and it irked Ronan to new levels when he invited strangers over, though none of them had ever been as pleasing as Adam Parrish. It took a certain type of person to be interesting to both Richard Campbell Gansey III and Ronan Lynch. <br/>“Would that be okay?” Adam seemed to be asking the table but his eyes stayed locked to Gansey, his power obvious to anyone<br/>“Of course it’s okay! We would love to have you!” Gansey grinned, as he moved Ronan’s backpack off the empty seat and practically shoved Adam into it. <br/>“Uh, thank you.” Adam awkwardly nodded his head at them. <br/>Gansey stared at him with such admiration Ronan was debating whether on not to phone Blue and tell her Gansey was cheating on her with a boy. The staring seemed to make Adam a little uncomfortable but he still threw a small smile at Gansey every few seconds. <br/>“So, Adam, how do you say ‘this is awkward’ in Latin?” Noah asked as he rested his whole upper body on the table in-between them. <br/>Adam recoiled a little and glanced at Noah uncertainly, most people treated the paler than pale vampire as a nuisance but Adam seemed to only want to work him out, almost like a puzzle. <br/>“Et vos peius fecit illud.” Ronan grumbled. <br/>Adam chuckled a little and then seemed embarrassed by it and tried to cover it with a cough. <br/>“Anyway!” Gansey said energetically. “Adam, we were just deciding what movies we were going to watch tonight, would you care to join us?” Some found the way Gansey talk to be outdated and irritating but if Adam was bothered by it he was a first-rate actor. <br/>Adam stuttered out something incomprehensible, clearly unused to Gansey’s fast approach at making friends. Ronan didn’t judge his confusion, the boys collectively hadn’t spoken much to Adam since he joined Aglionby, but when Gansey met someone there was something inside him that could tear a person apart to their roots. He had done it with Ronan and Noah when he first met them. Both of them had different personalities but were equally as damaged inside, beginning for someone like Gansey to help them, perhaps Adam was too.<br/>“There is no pressure at all but I think it would be fun!” <br/>“Sure, why not, as long as it’s okay with everyone.”  Adam smiled shyly, the redness of his cheeks fighting his freckles for dominance. <br/>“Well, if Gansey wants you there and I want you there then...” Noah sang, leaning so close to Ronan that he could smell the breakfast blood from him.<br/>“I couldn’t give less of a shit.” <br/>“In Ronan language that means please come.” Noah told Adam with a babyish toothy grin. <br/>Ronan scoffed and tried to act as nonchalant as possible but Noah had completely seen through him as always. <br/>His emotions for Adam were a river and his harsh attitude was a dam, but Noah was the type of boy who would pull at sticks until the dam collapsed and condemned them all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Very short chapter, I apologize, I have about 3 more unedited chapters and I'm trying to write every day so dont worry there is so much more to come.<br/>As I've said a couple times I will always continue this, it will 100% be finished, but it may take me a bit longer to get there just due to the mental state a lot of us are feeling in this corona virus time. <br/>I live in Scotland and we are on our 4th week of quarantine with more to come I imagine. <br/>Anyway, thank you so much for the read!<br/>Stay safe, stay indoors!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Monmouth Manufacturing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sweaty hands, nervous twitch, pacing the same four steps for ten minutes, all of these things attributed to first date jitters. Even though Adam wasn’t technically on his first date with Ronan, and even then this was all pretend and he couldn’t lose his dating virginity on a fake date, he felt all the typical symptoms. At first he thought the nerves came from lying, but he was a practiced liar by now and any guilt from lying melted down to a single eye twitch a month. He swallowed down the idea that the nerves came from wanting to have what he was pretending to want.<br/>The boy’s home was not what Adam was expecting. Vampires were notorious for the kind of homes that take decades to assemble, made by all kinds of slavery and furnished with the finest fittings. Monmouth Manufacturing looked like it had been around for decades but that it was crumbling down one day at a time. <br/>Adam finally got the courage to make it to the dingy door. <br/> Gansey had told him not to knock, knocking suggests that Adam was not invited he had said, but Adam felt it strange to just walk in and so he met Gansey in the middle and rang the buzzer.<br/>When the door opened Adam first saw a pale, chiselled and naked chest, when he looked further down he could see a damp towel dangling around sharp hips, and when he looked further up he could see Ronan Lynch. <br/>Adam gulped, embarrassingly loud. <br/>“I remember a little birdie telling you to just come in.” Ronan grinned like a shark, his fangs glimmering. <br/>Adam stared at him, perhaps a little too hard, but he hadn’t thought of a single reply. Just as he was about to ask for Gansey he saw a flutter of black come forth. <br/>“There is a little birdie behind you.” He remarked, dumbfounded. <br/>“Oh, yeah, that’s Chainsaw.” Ronan said, fondly stroking her feathers.<br/>“Kerah!” The bird screamed. <br/>“Nice.” Adam nodded, still on the other side of the door. <br/>Ronan looked him up in down, slowly and sort of invasively. The vampire only sported one piece of fabric and yet Adam felt as though he was the naked one and should apologise for it. Adam shivered, somehow he felt as though his wolf was being watched, as though his secret was coming out. <br/>He breathed a loud sigh of relief when Gansey finally appeared to save him.<br/>“Adam! Come in, come in!” He ushered Adam into the building warmly and gave him a sort of tour. The inside matched the outside easily, just as crumbly and just as bizarre.<br/>Adam sat down on a scratchy and lumpy couch next to Noah who was already picking at a slice of pizza. Adam always found vampires eating a weird occurrence. They have no need from it and often it gives them an unattractive stomach reaction and yet Adam has noticed a lot of younger vampires enjoying junk food. <br/>Werewolves however need a vast amount of food, specifically meat and carbs, to maintain their healing process and keep their wolf happy. Adam hadn’t ate since that morning seeing as lunch time at Aglionby was designed with vampires in mind, it was already hard enough keeping anyone from noticing that he never drank in public and he couldn’t afford to add suspicion by eating a sandwich. He had planned to go home before Monmouth to eat whatever leftovers he had in the fridge first but Boyd had called him in for a last minute shift right after school and he hadn’t had enough chance to swing by home afterwards. This meant that Adam was starving but vampires only nibbled on food and so he had to control his hunger and slowly bite away at a tiny slice of pepperoni pizza. The slow bites and small amount made him even hungrier than he was before, his wolf howled for red meat and a lot of it. <br/>His wolf was almost like his split personality, it longed to be free, happy and full and had no problem letting Adam know that. Sometime it was like a third job keeping his wolf inside. The walls of his apartment were littered with reminders that Adam couldn’t always control himself. <br/>“So Adam, may I ask what you do for a job?” <br/>Adam knew that Gansey meant well, but there was something about his voice that irked Adam. It sounded as though Gansey was excited to ask the question, like having to work to survive was interesting and new.  <br/>“I work in a factory and a garage.” He mumbled. This was the part of interactions when Adam became less of an individual and more of a bigger picture. They would begin to wonder what clan he came from, who his parents where and why they weren’t supporting him and bathing him in riches. He would be looked down on for supporting himself. <br/>“Do Mommy and Daddy make you work for your pocket money?” Ronan taunted childishly, the exact reaction Adam had been expecting.<br/> “I’m independent.” Adam said through his teeth. <br/>“May I ask what you mean by that?” <br/>Adam turned to Gansey and growled, “I don’t think it’s any of your business.”<br/>“I’m sorry if it seems like we’ve corned you Adam.” Gansey spoke slowly and quietly, almost as if he knew how to tame a wolf. “I promise that was not my intention.” <br/>Gansey had the kindest eyes a vampire could have, but Adam saw pity in them. Perhaps he couldn’t help it. Adam couldn’t change how he was raised to see the world, he was raised by a cynic who saw the system as belittling and turned to violence and rebellion as a way to combat it. Now Adam saw the system as belittling and moulded himself to fit into it. Similarly Gansey was raised by a monarch who found himself worthy of telling others how to live and used money to do it. Now Gansey wants to see how others live and understands nothing of how money distances them. They were two sides of the same coin. <br/>“Truly, Adam, I am sorry.” Gansey repeated. <br/>Adam looked up at him, breathing harshly though his teeth and saw that Gansey’s eyes had changed slightly. Pity was drowned out by something a little softer, perhaps fondness.<br/>“I just got a little touchy.” Adam said, smiling as best as he could. <br/>Ronan laughed, “A little?” <br/>“Ronan if you’re going to be an ass just go somewhere else.” Gansey told him sternly.<br/>Remarkably Ronan shut up after that. Somehow Gansey always knew the right moment to ignore Ronan and the right moment to tame him. Adam was going to have to learn how to do that if he wanted this to work out in his favour. <br/>The rest of the night went much better, they finished the movie in silence only pitching in a few opinions on characters and scenery every now and again, but it was a silence that felt friendly. After the movie Gansey brought out a game of scrabble and the boys spent the next hour showing off their differences. Gansey played by the rules and came up with words Adam had never even heard of. Ronan started with Latin and when Gansey ruled that all words were to be English he turned to swear words. Noah put down the simplest words possible like 'cat' and 'chair' and somehow without cheating he managed to win. <br/>It was the first night of Adam's life where he was having fun with people his own age. The first ever night he felt truly safe and happy. But the happiness began to dissolve when he remembered why he was here. Kavinsky was dangling friendship in front of his face in the same way a cat dangled freedom in front of a mouse. <br/>“I better get going.” Adam announced as he stood up. <br/> “Let Ronan or I give you a ride home Adam, it’s raining.” Gansey muttered sleepily as got up from the sinking sofa.  <br/>Adam thought about it for a brief moment, if he allowed Ronan to drive him home there were two possible outcomes, he could bond with Ronan and speed up this whole process or, the more likely outcome, in which Ronan would be his bastard self and drive Adam into an angered frenzy, ruining any chance of fake romance. <br/>“No, that’s alright I have my bike.” <br/>Gansey nodded, he understood that Adam was not going to argue back and forth with him. <br/>“See you at lunch tomorrow Adam!” Noah grinned cheerfully. <br/>“That reminds me.” Adam reached into his back pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill, it was his last one until he got paid next week but he had ate the most pizza and was a guest in their house. “For the pizza.” He clarified when he was met with befuddlement. <br/>“Oh no that’s-”<br/>Ronan cut Gansey off with a laugh, “You want to pay for half the pizza when you can barely pay for half a pair of shoes?”<br/>“Ronan-”<br/>“Excuse me?” <br/>“Hard of hearing?”  Ronan smirked. <br/>Adam was technically hard of hearing, he couldn’t hear a thing out of his left human ear after one of his Father’s abusive outbursts, but he wasn’t going to give Ronan the opportunity for sympathy- if he could even feel that emotion. “Fuck you.” He said slowly. <br/>“Just keep your money, buy some hand lotion with it.” Ronan told him and turned to exit the room before he could get into any trouble. <br/>Adam could feel his body pulsating, he could feel the nip of his fur, the tear of his gums as his teeth begged to extend. His wolf wanted to be free, he was sick of being treated this way, as though the numbers in his bank account represented his worth. <br/>Vampires were truly the scum of the earth and he was sick of being told he was beneath them even when he was pretending to be them.<br/>“Screw this.” Adam slammed the door of Monmouth behind him, half expecting it to crumble.<br/>He took the stairs three at a time and yanked the lock off his bike, knowing that he would need to wait until he got paid to buy another one. <br/>“Adam, wait, please!” <br/>Despite all the aggression and tiredness inside of him he still flinched when he felt the strong hand on his shoulder. He flinched and cowered down, expecting to be reprimanded for his tempter. If he was like his Father he would throw the bike to one side and let his wolf destroy everyone who came towards him. He would tear the skin off of all the vampires who looked down on him and then he would drink all the money he stole from their deceased bodies. <br/>“I’m not my Father.” Adam said, defeated, to Gansey, to himself, to no one.<br/>“I’m not mine either.” Gansey smiled slightly. <br/>And that was all they needed to say to each other, to understand each other. <br/>“Around 18,000 cyclists are injured each year, and I don’t think driving angry helps those odds.” Gansey told him, because he was Gansey. <br/>Adam sighed and put his bike in the back of Gansey’s 1973 Camaro. One day Adam would be successful enough to have a car like that. <br/>“He wasn’t always like this.” Gansey started as soon as they were on the road. “I assume you’ve heard about his Father. “<br/>There were many different rumours about Ronan’s Father but every one of them agreed that Ronan was present for his Father’s brutal murder, close enough for the blood to splatter on to him, close enough to see the glow drain from his Father’s eyes. Adam knew that it was traumatic but Ronan had still spent the majority of his life being loved by his Father, and even now he spends his life being loved by his Mother and brothers. Adam was jealous of anyone that felt that kind of love. He had never been loved by a single soul. <br/>“And I assume you have your own ideas about my Father but does that give me any right to act like that?” Adam said, turning his head to look at Gansey. It was clear to anyone that Adam wasn’t a beloved son, he had bags under his eyes and rough skin from overworking himself, he had second hand clothes and a ratty bike, and when you look at him for too long you could see scars in every place. <br/> “No, nothing can completely excuse him. But just imagine, Adam, imagine you adored your Father, and he adored you.” Gansey spoke quietly, perhaps ashamed of targeting Adam’s clear father issues.  “Imagine doing everything with him and wanting to learn to be just like him. And then imagine seeing him die with your own eyes. Imagine feeling his blood on you, seeing the man who cared for you and loved you all your life, die mere centimetres from you.” <br/>Adam tried to ignore Gansey but the picture had been painted and Adam couldn’t stop seeing a younger, lighter Ronan, terrified and traumatised beside his dead Father. He saw a Ronan wondering if he could have done anything to stop the murder, if sacrificing himself would have saved his beloved Father, a Ronan who lived every day wondering if he too would be murdered in front of his loved ones soon. “I’ve tried to get him to be nice to people more often, but the only person he hasn’t tried to scare away is you.” <br/>“Are you saying that was him being nice?” Adam barked a laugh.<br/>“No he was being an ass, but we both know he could have pushed you further if he wanted to.”<br/>Maybe Kavinsky was right after all, Adam thought.<br/>“You’re the same as us, Adam.” Gansey said as he pulled up beside St Agnes church.<br/>“I don’t think so, Gansey.” Adam laughed. <br/>It was an inane thing to say as they sat outside Adam’s home, a tiny apartment above the church that he could only barely afford. Adam worked for everything he had and would never accept pity or handouts. Gansey believed them to be the same species because it was a lie Adam had to tell, but Adam never lied about his wealth or upbringing and so it was ridiculous for Gansey to think they were similar.  <br/>“You see the world for what it is, Adam, and you see Ronan for who he is- broken, but not completely bad.” <br/>Adam stayed silent for a moment, in disbelief that Gansey had known what Adam felt before he had felt it himself. He was angry at Ronan, furious even, and yet Adam knew that he was still curious about the mystery of Ronan Lynch. Somehow Gansey knew that Adam needed a group of friends who could push him, but not break him, love him but not coddle him.  <br/>“I need to go.” Adam mumbled as he opened the car door. He felt the rain start as he stepped out the car, a rare case of pathetic fallacy. He was being unreasonable and he knew it, if he was going to survive this, survive Kavinsky, survive Ronan, he needed to bend his morals a little bit. He needed to stop being so sensitive, and considering how much Ronan listened to Gansey he needed to be the person that Gansey clearly thinks he is. <br/>He turned around to the vampire, not surprised to see him staring with wide sparkling eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Adam asked nervously. <br/>Gansey grinned. “Yes, see you tomorrow, Adam!”<br/>Later that night, after the mountain of homework, Adam lay in bed and for the first time in years he cried. <br/>He knew that he had unintentionally just gotten two more people mixed up in Kavinsky’s psycho plan.<br/>Ronan was a pack animal, he relied on his two friends more than he let anyone know and now Adam was using them to get close to him. His plan was to get into the inner circle just enough to strip down Ronan’s harsh layers so that Adam can break him into pieces. Ronan had shown him no kindness and so Adam wasn’t crying for Ronan Lynch. <br/>Adam was crying because he knew that with breaking Ronan Lynch came breaking Richard Gansey and Noah Czerny.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys! I have a little question for everyone.<br/>I've got about three more chapters written and I try to post one every week and I go back and edit it first. I've noticed that I get things a little messed up and I'm fiddling with the plot a bit. So I was thinking I might leave the posting for a couple of weeks and write it all out more so I can straighten out the plot better. I feel like it's either I do that or I continue posting but the writing quality is going down I think?<br/>Let me know if you think it's not and the plot still makes sense!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Irratating irritation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every part of his body was pulsing with irritation.</p><p>There were so many reasons why Adam was irritated, and every single reason had the same cause- Ronan Lynch.</p><p>The poster boy for skipping class sat right beside him with a smug grin and offered no apology for the way he had treated Adam the night before, he didn’t even have the decency to uphold the awkward atmosphere there always was after two people had a fight. Instead he sat and made jokes and asked questions he already knew the answer to.</p><p>He tried his best to push down his irritation and each time Ronan tried <em>his</em> best to spike it. Adam was living a lie in order to get the best education possible and so he refused to let Ronan Lynch, a consequence of his lie, negatively affect his learning.</p><p>If Ronan wanted to negatively affect him at lunch, then that was fair game.</p><p>Gansey grinned as Adam chose the seat next to him at lunch. “Adam, I’m so glad you’re joining us again.” He said</p><p>Adam smiled and took a drink from his black out bottle. A lot of vampires used black out bottles to hide their blood from squeamish bystanders and even though Adam only had water in his he hoped that others would assume it to be the red liquid.</p><p>Noah reached over and tapped Adam on the wrist to get his attention. It took a lot for Adam, an extremely warm-blooded animal to not jerk away from Noah’s abnormally freezing hands. “After you left last night Ronan threw me out of the window.” He deadpanned.</p><p>“You were annoying me.” Ronan shrugged.</p><p>Noah protested, “I just wanted to play scrabble!”</p><p>“You’re dyslexic!”</p><p>“See, Adam, he’s not just an ass to you, he’s mean to me too.” Noah said, slapping his tiny cold hands onto Adam’s arm twice before retreating into himself again.</p><p>“You always look like a kicked puppy, Czerny. It’s much easier to mess with Parrish, at least he fights back.” Ronan threw his legendary bastard smirk towards Adam as he spoke and it took a lot of resilience not to jump up and wipe the smirk away. Instead of giving Ronan the fight he asked for Adam simply glared at him hoping his irritation was visible and poignant.</p><p>“Good god, I could cut the sexual tension with a knife.”</p><p>Joseph Kavinsky had snuck up on them, or maybe he had approached loudly and Adam had just been too focused on staring at Ronan.</p><p>“Fuck off, K.” Ronan said as he broke the staring match between himself and Adam. He turned his attention to Kavinsky and let out a horrifying hiss.</p><p>Adam was so naïve. Whilst he masqueraded as a piss-poor vampire, Ronan Lynch existed. Blue eyes so electric they stunned anyone who looked at them uninvited. Teeth so sharp like Ice Mountains, capable of beauty or disaster depending on how you prepared yourself. Adam’s lie was <em>nothing</em> compared to Ronan’s truth.</p><p>Kavinsky waved his dumb knife in the space between Adam and Ronan, a knife that was so similar to the knife that had been stuck in Adam’s legs not too long ago, but completely different because <em>that</em> knife was under Adam’s pillow as a last resort. “Once you all finish planning your foursome, come see my new toy.” Kavinsky told Ronan before walking away slowly, his gang of brain dead followers behind him like eager blood-sucking puppies.</p><p>Ronan got up from his seat abruptly and brushed past Adam, dropping something small into his lap. “Here, Parrish.” He said, not quietly.</p><p>“Ronan, don’t-” Gansey begged the air not to leave as Ronan was already chasing after the boy who wanted to destroy him.</p><p>“I wonder what the toy is.” Noah shrugged.</p><p>Gansey sighed, “Nothing good,”</p><p>Adam watched the two boys, his abuser and his target, as they left the dining hall. His life was in danger, his moral’s were corrupt and his soul was most likely already sold to the devil. All because Kavinsky wanted Ronan and thought Ronan wanted Adam. But if Ronan wanted Adam, why would he follow Kavinsky when called upon. The whole thing was a mess and Adam was beginning to realise the possibility of the middle being even messier than the beginning.</p><p>Noah wriggled forward to peer into Adam’s lap. “What did Ronan give you?” He asked.</p><p>Adam put the item in his bag and told Noah, “Notes from the Latin class I missed last week, I was struggling to catch up myself and needed some help.”</p><p>It was a half truth, which was easiest kind of lie to tell.</p><p>He had in fact missed the class due to his hungry wolf overcoming him in the earliest hour of the morning. When he finally gained back control he was a couple hours away from his home with no transport, no clothes and covered in the blood of a deer.</p><p>But Ronan Lynch didn’t take notes, and class was the one thing Adam didn’t need help with.</p><p>“That was nice of him.” Gansey smiled, though his suspicion was clear. He knew what kind of student’s Adam and Ronan were.</p><p>Ronan didn’t return for the rest of their break and even though Gansey was clearly worried he kept their chatter relatively pleasant. They spoke about their classes and daily life and then Gansey invited Adam to join them on their trip to some sort of sacred forest the next morning, he had work later that day but found himself agreeing to go instantly. Adam told himself it was because he could find some way to seduce Ronan, but he knew that he agreed to go simply because he <em>wanted</em> to go.</p><p>After school Adam went to his six hour shift at Boyd’s and tried to take his mind off of Ronan Lynch. But every sound somehow reminded him of all the chaos.</p><p>The sound of scratching metal reminded him of Ronan’s strange cawing pet. The smell of petrol reminded him of Kavinsky. And the sweat on his face reminded him of the tears he had cried the night before.</p><p>Boyd, his boss, could tell something was clearly eating at him and so he let Adam leave a little early as a kind act, but it meant Adam was home too early to simply fall into bed.</p><p>He reached into his bag almost reluctantly and flipped the tape back and forth with his thumb and forefinger. On the front of the tape in big black writing Ronan had wrote ‘Parrish’s cry-baby songs’.</p><p>Some would think it to be mocking, but Adam knew that it was a half-assed comical apology, perhaps the only sort of apology that you could expect from Ronan Lynch.</p><p>His cheeks began to heat up.</p><p>Adam hated it.</p><p>He was supposed to be <em>seducing</em> Ronan Lynch and yet, here Adam Parrish was standing in his little apartment, blushing at a passive-aggressive apology tape- slightly seduced.</p><p>He shook his head hard trying to sort his emotions out. He couldn’t afford to feel anything.</p><p>The plan would be changed. It seemed as though it would be easier to get Ronan to ask him out instead of the other way around. When Adam realised he was bisexual it had made him realise that the idea of gender roles was a silly tradition and toxic masculinity was one of the things that made his Father so unpleasant and so he didn’t have to swallow any pride at being the one to sit back and be asked out rather than take control.</p><p>He just had to find some way of getting Ronan to think that Adam liked him so he could ask him out. Adam couldn’t simply <em>tell</em> Ronan, the straightforward and easiness would be too dull for him. There had to be something hidden in it, it had to be deep but not stereotypical.</p><p>He began to devise up a new game plan when he heard a knock at his door.</p><p>Adam didn’t have friends or neighbours and so a knock on his door was practically unheard of. He fleetingly humoured the idea that Ronan had come to visit him, but knew that they had never discussed where Adam lived and if Gansey had told him then he would have probably sent a warning text.</p><p>It was the most logical explanation that his landlord was outside of the door and so he answered it politely. His kind smile was met with a knife.</p><p>“This is becoming a habit between us.” Kavinsky laughed.</p><p>Adam sighed- it unnerved him that he had now become accustomed to having his life endangered. He stepped further into his apartment, and subsequently the knife, and gestured for Kavinsky to come in, knowing it was either good manners or a knife wound.</p><p>Adam rolled his shoulders back, and put on a fake smile. “What’s up, Kavinsky?”</p><p>“Have you forgotten about our deal, Parrish?”</p><p>Adam couldn’t help but bark a laugh. “Forgotten? I’m living my god damn life around it, Kavinsky!”</p><p>Apparently despite all his chaotic banter, Kavinsky didn’t like to be laughed at because as soon as Adam finished his sentence the Bulgarian mobster raised his arm and threw his elbow right into Adam’s nose. The force and surprise of it threw Adam to the ground, he was used to the boy’s knife not his brute force.</p><p>“Fuck,” Adam groaned as he wiped the blood from his throbbing nose. It was definitely broken, with just one hit. “I’m doing my fucking best.” He added as he moved to get up from the floor.</p><p>Kavinsky, the psycho, closed his eyes and inhaled. “You smell like a rose, smothered by wet dog.” He told him with a smirk. And then he kicked Adam under his chin and sent him right back to the floor again.</p><p>This time Adam stayed down, he was forced to relive all of his Father’s beatings. Most of the time it was just a few punches and kicks, nothing Adam couldn’t handle, but when Adam showed any sort of emotion other than complete submission it got so much worse. One time, when Adam was tired of being a coward, he got up after a few punches and used his remaining energy to summon up a loud growl towards his Father. At the time, when his Father’s eyes sparkled, Adam thought it was admiration, but when he woke up covered in his own blood, his head throbbing and only one of his ear’s hearing the TV show his Father was watching, he knew it was the sign of frenzy.</p><p>Kavinsky had the same sparkle in his eyes as he held his foot over Adam’s throat, ready to push.</p><p>“Do I seem patient, fuckweasel?” Kavinsky asked slowly.</p><p>Adam stayed silent, knowing it was his best chance of surviving this.</p><p>“How about I sweeten the deal? I get Lynch, and you get to keep your secret, your life <em>and</em> I’ll throw in £10,000.”</p><p>That was a lot of money, and it could do a lot of amazing things for him. He wouldn’t have to work so hard, he wouldn’t have to rise to the top using blood sweat and tears. He could get the life he always wanted. “Fuck you, I don’t need you’re fucking money.” Adam spat. If he didn’t work for his own life then it became someone else’s. His Father thought he owned him because he paid a few bills for Adam’s sake when he was a child. If Adam took anything more than his secret back from Kavinsky then he was signing away his life to the Bulgarian Bastard mobster.</p><p>Kavinsky moved his head side to side, taking in Adam’s apartment theatrically.</p><p>Admittedly there wasn’t much to look at. He possessed the bare minimal required for survival- a bed to sleep, a table to study at, a kitchen area to cook in and a bathroom for obvious reasons. But it was functional and it kept him alive. And it was <em>his.</em></p><p>“You sure?” Kavinsky asked with a nasty laugh.</p><p>For all his studying sometimes Adam Parrish was not intelligent. If he was smart he would have been able to escape the danger by praising Kavinsky and kissing the soles of his feet- he probably could have even done it with some amount of dignity. But in that moment the only smart thing about him was his mouth, and it moved too fast. “I’m positive, leech.” He growled.</p><p>Kavinsky pushed his foot down, restricting Adams breath entirely. Adam couldn’t help but grab Kavinsky’s ankle, but it only resulted in the foot adding more pressure. His surrounding became dark and wobblier, Adam knew by now that it meant he would lose consciousness soon.</p><p>He used whatever energy he had left, the energy he saved for moments like this when people expected him to roll over and submit, his cockroach survival energy. He extended his nails, digging them right into Kavinsky’s leg. The vampire gasped, not expecting Adam to fight back, and dug his foot into his throat even further. Adam simply pulled his nails right down Kavinsky’s calf, creating a large five digit wound.</p><p>“Fuck!” Kavinsky yelled as he retracted his foot from Adam’s throat.</p><p>Adam gasped in the biggest gulp of air he could manage before jumping to his feet. He swayed a little but steadied himself on his desk.</p><p>“Jesus <em>Christ</em> Kavinsky!” He growled, his skin becoming prickly with fur begging to come out. He knew his eyes would be glowing by now but Kavinsky didn’t seem to care, he didn’t know how to be afraid. “I’m doing what you asked, I’m in the inner fucking circle, I’ve got Gansey twirled around my finger but Ronan’s going to take some more fucking time, okay!” He yelled, walking forward to the mobster, refusing to show his true fear. This was one of those moments where he refused to be smart if it meant being a coward. Adam wasn’t fighting for his life, at the moment that was unimportant and worthless, but he was fighting for his future, his truthful future where he could be what he deserved to be. “I’m getting there. He gave me a mixtape for Christ sake.”</p><p>Kavinsky laughed, “A mixtape?”</p><p>Adam faltered his advance. He was taken aback by how quickly the other boy could go from squeezing the life out of him to laughing. It always took his Father at least an hour and a few shots of alcohol.</p><p>“Maybe you’re not so worthless after all.” Kavinsky shrugged. “I suppose I can learn to be a bit more patient. You have two weeks.”</p><p>“That’s not-” Adam began to protest but in true Kavinsky fashion, he was stopped by a knife. He should have seen it coming.</p><p>“If he’s not by my side after two weeks, then you’re secret will be out.” Kavinsky threatened, swaying the knife from side to side on Adam’s neck. It was so light it almost tickled. “I won’t tell the school first, that’ll be second. First, I’ll take a little drive, feel the wind in my face, and have a nice little road trip y’know? I’ll go through this trailer park I heard about, and I’ll drive right up to trailer number 35.”</p><p>Adam swallowed, feeling the knife on his exposed throat.</p><p>Kavinsky continued, “Daddy will be the first to know that his son is posing as a vampire.”</p><p>“Fuck you, Kavinsky.”</p><p>“You’re weak without a pack Parrish, even I can tell that. A little huff and puff from your Daddy will send you flying.”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong. Even an abusive pack was better than no pack for a wolf’s strength and mentality. Adam was always a small wolf, not really a fighter, but he used to be much stronger. In his glory days he could probably have dealt with Kavinsky without the need for lies. Now that he moved out of his home and far away enough that they couldn’t find him, his ties to the pack had long been broken and he was suffering for it. He was much stronger than a human and he could still defend himself but not for much longer. If his Father was to find him, his wolf would overpower him, the call of an Alpha wasn’t something he could ignore in this state. And who knows what his state would be after his Father dealt with him.</p><p>“Two weeks isn’t enough for someone to be so in love that their heart can break.” Adam suggested. It could have been a lie, he had never been in love and so wasn’t sure if there was some kind of time expectancy, but he knew Ronan to a certain extent by now and he couldn’t imagine him falling for Adam so hard in two weeks that he would rebound with the ruler of bastards Joseph Kavinsky.</p><p>Kavinsky hummed a tune for a couple of seconds, maintaining his eye contact with Adam. “Four weeks,” He said. “Four weeks, and I want him <em>ruined.</em>”</p><p>“Deal,” Adam whispered.</p><p>
  <em>Ruined.</em>
</p><p>Kavinsky winked, “See you later, alligator.”</p><p>When the door shut behind him Adam wanted to cry out.</p><p>Every day was worse than the one before now. It was how he used to live his life but when he left the trailer park all those months ago he had been leaving for a safer, happier life.</p><p>It was becoming apparent to him that he would never be safe, he would <em>never</em> be happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, guys! <br/>Excited to say I've worked out most of the plot and I actually really like where I am going with this!<br/>I also want to say thank you for reading this is means a LOT to me. <br/>Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Cabeswater</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cabeswater was apparently a secret. Very few knew about it and even fewer knew how to find it.</p><p>It wasn’t a spectacular sight per say, but it done something spectacular to your life- if you believed in the tales.</p><p>Those who visited Cabeswater, and truly felt its essence, would eventually become human.</p><p>Even though Adam put impressive effort into repressing the fact he was a werewolf, not a single part of him was ever interested in becoming human. Despite his lies, he didn’t even want to be a vampire. He liked who he was and he felt comfort in his wolf, but the world was still in a place of prejudice and he wasn’t in any position as just one werewolf to fight the prejudice and end up content with the life that it gave him.</p><p>Adam had watched televised protests were wolves marched for equality between the species, he witnessed freedom fighters be gunned down for demanding their children have the right to the higher education that vampire's had. He admired these courageous werewolves, but he wasn’t like them. He was just one werewolf who lied to get the education he knew he deserved and wanted.</p><p>And if he was selfish enough to not fight for others, then he was more than capable of breaking Ronan Lynch’s heart for his education.</p><p>He saw his phone light up behind him, drawing him away from staring at his wounds in the mirror.</p><p><em>We’re outside! </em>Gansey had texted him.</p><p>Adam sighed deeply, the bruise on his neck hating him for it.</p><p>All of his wounds ached, his nose was healing slowly but it was crooked and swollen, the bruise on his neck was undeniably foot shaped, and the only saving grace was that only <em>one</em> of his eyes was bruised black.</p><p>Werewolves have <em>astounding </em>noses, they can smell blood from two miles away and could detect what the blood came from. Whilst vampires were surprisingly bad at detecting scents they can still tell the difference between vampire, werewolf and human blood when they try very hard. And so Adam regrettably had to shove an entire cotton ball up his right nostril when he felt a trickle of blood drip down. He hoped that the cotton ball would stop the trickle and mask the scent of blood but if pressed he could always say that he had drank the blood of a werewolf, apparently werewolf blood was <em>disgusting</em> but it was incredibly cheap and no one would be suspicious that it was all Adam could afford.</p><p>Gansey’s Camaro, lovingly termed The Pig, was waiting for him outside with the three boys inside. He noticed Ronan and Noah huddled in the back looking slightly mischievous and so he slid into the front seat with a quiet greeting.</p><p>He could feel Gansey’s worried eyes first, silent eyes that didn’t want to tread too far on the broken ice that was Adam Parrish. And then came Ronan Lynch’s pounding destructive eyes.</p><p>“What the fuck Parrish? Did you get a job as a punching bag?” Ronan yelled from behind him. When Adam didn’t answer Ronan shook his char vigorously, causing him to realise his ribs were also damaged as they stung with each shake.</p><p>“Ronan, stop it.” Gansey warned.</p><p>“<em>Me</em>? I’m the least of his worries.” <em>Oh how untrue that was.</em></p><p>“Does it hurt?” Noah asked, looking at Adam’s black eye as if he wanted to poke it.<br/><br/>“A little, but it’s not a big deal.” Adam smiled shyly. <br/><br/>Ronan snorted and gave his chair one last push.</p><p>“What happened, Adam?” Gansey asked, kindly but domineering.</p><p>"I got mugged when I was coming home from work last night." Adam started. He had practised the story last night making sure he had the right tone of voice and that each injury was accounted for. They had no doubt picked up on Adam's old injuries and his anxious manner but he needed them to believe this was a one off mugging and not a constant attack. "One of them punched me and then another held me down by the throat. When they realised I only had a few dollars they got in a few punches and kicks and then left me alone."</p><p>“Have you contacted the police, yet?” Gansey asked immediately.</p><p>“I didn’t get a good look at either of them, it would be pointless.” Adam shrugged. He had thought of phoning the police on Kavinsky near the start of all this mess but there would be no good outcome. Police were notoriously vampires or pro vampire and incredibly prone to showing brutality towards werewolves. If he contacted them they would most likely either ignore him or charge him for impersonating a vampire, and after all that hassle Kavinsky would bury him.</p><p>“Are there a lot of these hooligans near here?” Gansey asked, looking around the street with distaste. The Camaro was still firmly parked, indicating he wasn’t entirely satisfied with Adam’s story or safety.</p><p>“Right now, there’s a few.” Adam gestured towards the boys in the back of the car. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about local crime with Richard Gansey, nor did he enjoy the amount of attention he was getting.</p><p>“Would you let Ronan teach you self defence?” Gansey suddenly asked. When Adam looked taken aback he added, “He’s very good at it!” As though Adam was turned off by Ronan’s merits, not the idea of letting an Irish street racer teaching him how to defend himself against his very own racing enemy.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“It won’t take long, no weapons.” Ronan added gruffly. Behind the intolerance and coarseness there was a tone of sincerity in his voice that shocked Adam. It seemed like Ronan wanted to help but didn’t want to look too eager.</p><p>“I said no.”</p><p>Gansey shared a rather offensive look with the other boys, as if they were all trying to figure out how to force Adam into this. He debated opening the door and going home, he hadn’t thought for a minute that this was how they would react. He knew there would be a few questions but they weren’t such good friends that they could belittle him by offering worthless lessons. He told a story of getting ambushed by two men late at night after a long shift, even Ronan Lynch would have struggled to fight off these made up attackers.</p><p>“I know how to defend myself, but there’s no point doing it when you’re outnumbered it just makes the situation worse.” Adam could feel his voice becoming poisonous the more he spoke.<br/><br/>Ronan scoffed, “That’s a dumb thing to say.”</p><p>Adam whipped his head around so fast that he knew he was going to have to add neck strain to the list of his injuries.</p><p>“It’s not dumb, Lynch, it’s my life. We can’t all have the luxurious life of fighting whatever hurts us. Some of us have to take it, get up, and deal with it.” Adam snapped, he almost let out a growl but at the last minute made sure he kept it in and instead hissed with his artificial fangs to show his anger.</p><p>There was a wall between Adam and these vampires. Even though the three boys had clearly been brought up in different ways they each were cushioned away from real life. Gansey had irrefutable influence over everyone who knew of his second name, no one would dare disrespect him. Noah was the right type of odd that meant he cared very little about anything negative that people said about him. And Ronan had enough strength and family ties to fight anyone that he pleased. But Adam, he had no pride in his name, he cared too much about what others thought of him, and if he was to fight he would be pushed back so hard that his secret would fall out.</p><p>“Whatever Parrish,” Ronan eventually broke the silence that followed Adam’s outburst. “Next time just make sure they stay away from your little pretty face.” He grumbled as he broke eye contact, signalling that the interrogation was finally over.</p><p>Adam felt his cheeks heat up vigorously, “Shut up.”</p><p>“Can we get McDonald’s on the way to Cabeswater?” Noah asked, either uninterested by the tension between his friends or deliberately changing the topic.</p><p>Gansey gave Adam a fleeting lock of worry before he put the car in gear and took off. “No,” He told Noah with a smile. “I packed us some lunch don’t worry.”</p><p>“But, <em>Daaaad!</em>” Noah groaned.</p><p> </p><p>When they reached their destination Adam took in a deep breath.</p><p>Cabeswater was beautiful.</p><p>It seemed untouched by humanities cruel ways of destruction and decay.</p><p>There were so many trees’ that looked identical from a distance but so unique up close. Some appeared old, others appeared young, some were luminous and others were sad. They were, in that way, just like people.</p><p>“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Gansey asked as Adam took it all in.</p><p>“Stunning,” Adam agreed. “I don’t think I feel more human, looking at it though.”</p><p>“Actually the legend-”</p><p>Ronan cut his friend off with a groan. “Don’t get him started, Parrish.”</p><p>“I want to hear the legend.” Adam smiled at Gansey encouragingly. He knew that the point of this trip was to get closer to Ronan in any way possible, but he liked Gansey, and in some way getting closer to Gansey brought you closer to Ronan.</p><p>“Whatever,” Ronan rolled his eyes. “Noah, let’s go catch some frogs.”</p><p>“Yes!” Noah screamed as he excitedly followed Ronan to some sort of pond down the hill from the boys.</p><p>“I don’t have to talk about the legend, I’m sure there are other topics we could discuss. I know I can be quite boring sometimes.” Gansey shrugged sheepishly. It was an untrue thing to say, nothing about Gansey was boring.</p><p>“Tell me about this place, please.” Adam asked as he sat down in the grass. Gansey followed suit with a grin.</p><p>“Well, many years ago when vampires were in hiding from the human’s this is where a powerful vampire named Glendower lived with his clan.” Gansey started, his eyes twinkling almost as much as his fangs. He seemed so visibly excited by the legend of Cabeswater that Adam couldn’t help but listen so intently. “Glendower, unlike the other vampires, was very fascinated by the humans. He thought they seemed to be made from the same mould as vampires but given the ability to be kind and loving. Glendower’s clan had humans of course, a pen full to keep them all fed, but these human’s were seen more as pets and livestock than actual humans. Glendower would sneak out sometimes to watch the free humans at a distance. One day a human approached him, she said her name was Briath and that every day he watched them, she had watched him.” Adam groaned internally, he hadn’t expected there would be a love story involved and lately he had grown to hate love stories. “They became utterly obsessed with each other despite their differences. Briath came to visit him one day at Cabeswater but instead she was greeted by Alwyn, a younger boy who aspired to be as powerful as Glendower and was believed Briath had made him weak. He was a very typical vampire and he detested the humans for being frail and naive. He killed Briath and took her body to Glendower in the hopes that it would rile him up and turn him into a more ferocious vampire. When Glendower saw this he was heartbroken but instead of reacting with violence Glendower set free the humans in the pen and announced to his clan that they would live together with humans from now on as a way to honour his human love Briath. Cabeswater would be a place for both vampires and humans or it would be a place for no one. Half of the clan left but the half that stayed treated humans like their equal and as a result they themselves began to feel more emotion and depth, they became more human. And from then on, any vampire who spent their time here would become more human.” Gansey finished a bit shakily, he had spoken to fast and so passionately that he was short for breath.</p><p>“Thank you for telling me.” Adam said, because it was clear the story was important to Gansey.</p><p>“Oh, no, thank you for listening! Everyone else tends to ignore me when I talk about Glendower.” He laughed sheepishly. “It is a strange obsession I suppose, not a lot of people even know he existed. My Father took me here once when I was younger and I would always beg to be taken back. I feel very peaceful here, very...<em>human</em>.” He said as his eyes trailed off to the trees.</p><p>“I think this is a wonderful place, Gansey, but I don’t really understand how some scenery can change your genetics.” Adam laughed gently, afraid he would insult Gansey.</p><p>“Ah, you see, I think that the word ‘human’ was lost slightly in all the translating and aging. I think what Glendower meant instead of human was ‘<em>good’</em>.” Gansey said, running his fingers through the green grass. “I like to come here to remind myself that it is possible to be a vampire, <em>and</em> be good.”</p><p>Adam scrunched up his face as an immediate reaction. It puzzled him that Gansey needed reminding that he was a good person. According to all the history vampires <em>were</em> once complete villains to the world, their need for blood was understood but they also took too much joy in killing humans and werewolves, they lived their lives solely for blood and murder. As time went on the vampire’s became friendlier to the humans and even though there is still stigma around werewolves they became more decent to them. Even though he was being blackmailed and tortured by a vampire Adam believed that the average vampire was <em>good</em> and Richard Gansey was clearly above average.</p><p>“Species doesn’t go hand in hand with morality.” Adam said, knowing this from his experience at life. He had nothing against humans, but he also had nothing to love them for. The trailer park he used to live in was notoriously home to poor and sometimes ex-con werewolves. Groups of humans would trespass on the trailer park and set fire to countless homes, for no other reason than they had the ability to become something else- something dangerous. <br/><br/>Vampire’s were harder to injure than werewolves because of their political power and their influence on the world, which meant humans took any fear and unhappiness out on each other or werewolves. Sometime’s Adam thought that in the world of vampires, werewolves and humans, humans were the clear monster. <br/><br/>“A human isn’t good just because it has dull teeth and the ability to survive as a herbivore. So, your need to prove to yourself that you’re good just because you were born with sharp teeth and the need for blood is quite stupid.” Adams shrugged. He couldn't stomach looking at Gansey yet, he hadn't meant to insinuate that <em>Gansey</em> was stupid but just that his words were based on self-doubt not appropriate facts. Adam had never had friends before and so he wasn't very good at making someone understand their worth, but he knew insulting them probably wasn't the best thing to do. "I'm sorry that came out wrong."</p><p>"You're very, <em>unique, </em>Adam." Gansey said. When Adam looked up Gansey was smiling at him. "I'm glad you're our friend." He added.</p><p>Adam didn’t really understand what Gansey meant but he smiled back anyway, it seemed like something a friend would do.</p><p>“Adam! Ad... look...I have!” The wind bashing into Adam’s only hearing ear made it hard to understand what Noah was saying as he ran up the hill towards them. When he got closer Adam noticed that his hands were cupped tightly but water was still slowly trickling through the gaps, he hoped Noah didn’t have any dying fish in his hands. “Adam, look what I have!” Noah repeated clearly and excitedly. He opened his hands to reveal a very small and very red frog. The animal made a move to jump but Noah closed him in again with a squeal.</p><p>“Oh, a frog,” Adam replied, dumbfounded.</p><p>“He’s a genius.” Ronan said sarcastically as he joined them.</p><p>“Give him a stroke, Adam! He’s very cute.” Noah grinned, grabbing Adam’s hand and not giving him much choice in the matter, despite his skinny body he still had the strength of a vampire. The frog was very slimy and cold, Adam didn't enjoy it.</p><p>“How did you know it wasn’t poisonous before you picked it up?” Gansey questioned as he leaned forward to glimpse at the animal.</p><p>“Frog’s can’t be poisonous, Gansey.” Noah laughed, finally releasing his grip and covering the frog with his other hand again. He cradled the frog in his hands and swayed it slightly, still laughing.</p><p>Adam looked at the frog nervously when Ronan began to laugh.</p><p>“Don’t worry Parrish, Noah’s been petting it for ages and he’s not been poisoned yet.” Ronan told him as he opened his own hands to reveal a very average sized normal coloured frog. “Would you like to stroke <em>my</em> frog?”</p><p>“No thank you.” He could still feel the slime of the first frog on his hands.</p><p>“Another day maybe,” Ronan shrugged.</p><p>“Gansey! You haven’t touched him yet.” Noah said, and opened his hands to reveal the frog once more.</p><p>“I’m allergic to frogs.”<br/><br/>“No, you’re allergic to bees.” Noah took the frog by its torso area and pushed the maybe-poisonous animal towards Gansey’s worried face.</p><p>Gansey regarded the frog nervously as it twitched and struggled. “I could be allergic to more than one thing.”</p><p>Ronan roared a laugh at his friend’s expense before grabbing Noah by the collar of his t-shirt and hauling him away. “Come on Noah let’s go put the frogs back and let Dick and punching bag finish bonding.”</p><p>Adam began to yell a ‘fuck you’ to Ronan about his new nickname but knew it would accomplish nothing. He was starting to realise Ronan did things for attention and the day went a lot smoother when you didn’t give him it.</p><p>“He’s worried about you.”</p><p>“Noah?”<br/><br/>“No, Ronan.” Gansey said. “When he’s worried about someone, he makes sure he’s extra bastardy to them so they’re distracted. And then, when you least expect it, he becomes very soft and kind.”</p><p>Ever since Joseph Kavinsky threatened him something had been bothering Adam. How could Ronan care for Adam so much that Kavinsky was able to pick up on it? Ronan didn’t know anything about Adam, not where he came from, what his morals where, not anything other than his skill in Latin. And yet somehow, he apparently chose Adam over Kavinsky.</p><p>“He barely knows me.” Adam said.</p><p>“Glendower barely knew Briath.”</p><p>He recoiled slightly, “What?”</p><p>“Oh, no, I didn’t mean...I didn’t mean like that. Obviously I didn’t mean the romance part.” Gansey spluttered becoming red in the face. “I just mean, he can sense that you were meant to be a part of our lives.”</p><p>Adam sighed. Gansey didn’t realise he was taunting Adam with things he couldn’t have. He didn’t realise that there was no road that led to Adam being a part of their lives forever. He was to be a part of their lives for a month, and then he would become a face in the hall of Aglionby, a face that they hated for being so destructive and cruel.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re here today, Adam. Blue usually comes along but she’s working today and even then, she usually mucks around with those two. It’s nice having someone who doesn’t want to touch frogs.” Gansey smiled, perhaps trying to lighten the conversation after Adam’s awkward silence.</p><p>“Do you think he’s going to try and take that poisonous frog back to Monmouth?” Adam asked, gesturing down the hill to Noah who now knee deep in water despite wearing full length jeans.</p><p>“I will not allow a <em>frog</em> inside the Pig.” Gansey said with distaste.</p><p>They chatted about mundane things for another twenty minutes or so before Noah and Ronan gave up with frog wrangling and Adam had to get to work. Noah’s jeans were dripping wet but Gansey simply threw a new pair at him from the Pig. Clearly Noah had done this enough for Gansey to be prepared.</p><p>When Gansey pulled over next to the factory Noah sighed. “I feel like all you do is work.”</p><p>“That’s because all I do is work.” Adam complained in agreement. “But I’ll see y’all on Monday?” He tensed as soon as it happened, his southern drawl had come out, it was the type of accent that screamed ‘I’m worthless’, the type of accent that painted the picture of a desolated and disgusting trailer park. He noticed Ronan tremble slightly beside him, perhaps trying to keep all his insults inside for another day.</p><p>“Yes, of course!” Gansey grinned, not paying attention to Adam’s slip up.</p><p>“Enjoy your child labour.” Ronan leered as he dropped something small into Adam’s lap before turning to face the window.</p><p>He didn’t look at the object Ronan had given him until he waved goodbye to the Pig and the boys.</p><p>He twisted off the lid of the object and found inside it, cream. It was colourless but it smelled of mist and moss. He placed the lid back on and turned it around to get a look at the ingredients but they were covered in handwriting.</p><p><em>Manibus. </em>It said.</p><p>
  <em>For your hands.</em>
</p><p>Adam opened it once more and spread the cream over his cracked skin. <br/><em><br/></em>The corner of his mouth rose slightly.</p><p>“<em>When he’s worried about someone, he makes sure he’s extra bastardy to them so they’re distracted. And then, when you least expect it, he becomes very soft and kind.” </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay guys! So I know Glendower is Welsh but for the purpose of this fic we're pretending he is American- whoops!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A bike, Boyd's, a bad boy and blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His parents had always been religious and it had been forced upon him at an early age but Adam didn’t believe in God.<br/><br/>It was a nice story, but the story differed in each family and each species, and Adam didn’t like a story that had more than one version.<br/><br/>He also didn’t like a story that damned him for his sexuality.<br/><br/>Despite living in St Agnes he didn’t bump into church goers as often as one would imagine- mostly because he was an atheist werewolf who had no problem working on the day of God.<br/><br/>He scoffed down a second cereal bar and tried to suppress his hungry wolf’s howls. He had taken so long to get ready and locate food that he was most likely going to be late for work at Boyd’s. The mechanics was his favourite job of the two and even though Boyd was much more lenient with mistakes Adam knew that if he wanted success in life he had to work for it every day, and that meant treating a job in a mechanics as though it was a job for government.</p><p>Adam grabbed his bicycle and powered out of the door, straight into a soft body. When he looked up he thanked the God he didn’t believe in that even though it was a vampire, it wasn’t Kavinsky.</p><p>“Where’s the fire?” Ronan groaned as he rubbed his ribs, the bicycle handlebar had somehow bulldozed his torso.</p><p>“At Boyd’s maybe, which I’m late for,” Adam muttered anxiously as he locked his door and gestured for Ronan to walk with him.<br/><br/>“You don’t start for like another fifteen minutes am I right?”<br/><br/>Adam rapidly sped up his hand actions to try and get Ronan away from his door. “Yes, but it’s a twenty minute cycle so if you’ll excuse me.”</p><p>“Parrish, chill out for a sec man.” He laughed, grabbing onto Adam’s bike.</p><p>Adam turned to face him, angrily, and was shocked that he hadn’t noticed it immediately. Ronan was wearing a fancy suit, and it wasn’t a bad look at all.</p><p>“Put you’re dumb piece of tin back in your place and let’s get going.” He said, using Adam’s hand gesturing technique to tell him to do it fast.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Adam raised his eyebrows. Five minutes late was one thing, but if Ronan was going to start an argument and make him ten minutes late, Adam would have to add physically breaking him to his list instead of just mentally.</p><p>“I need to be here for the service anyway so-”</p><p>Adam cut Ronan off with a laugh, “You go to church?”</p><p>“I’m a catholic, something wrong with that?” Ronan asked with a scowl. Adam shouldn’t be surprised considering a large majority of people that went to church didn’t fit the church vibe. His own Father, who had more blood on his hands than a feeding vampire, was an avid church goer but yet he still couldn’t imagine Ronan Lynch, a traumatised and seemingly gay barbarian, as a believer in something like God.</p><p>“No, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Adam said, and he meant it. Just because he found something to be offensive and unbelievable didn’t mean that it wasn’t nurturing and authentic to someone else. “Can I go now?”</p><p>“No, put the bike back, I’m taking you to work. And before you start you’re pestering it works perfectly with my day. I’ll take you to work, go to church, have a meal with my brother’s, take you home from work and then go home.” Ronan said, punctuating his point by pushing the bike so that the handlebars gently pushed against Adam’s ribs.</p><p>Adam knew this was happening because of his lie about the mugging. He was such a talented liar that he struck worry in the boys he had lied to. In hindsight he should have made the lie centred on a problem that Ronan couldn’t attempt to fix, like he fell down a flight of stairs or he took a street fighting class.</p><p>“It’s daylight, no one’s going to attack me.” Adam groaned. “Plus, I don’t need someone holding my hand. I’ve told you I can protect myself.”</p><p>“Look, Parrish,” Ronan smirked. Adam hated how the smirk, paired with the drawl of his second name, made him feel. He had always thought himself to be immune to the charm of assholes but he was starting to realise that itself was a lie he had told so well that he believed it. “You can either get in my car... or cycle to work with me driving behind your ass the whole way there and back.”</p><p>If he was Joseph Kavinsky he would make a line up about how he <em>wanted</em> Ronan to look at his ass whilst he cycled, but he was Adam Parrish, and so he stuck his finger up at Ronan and then unlocked his door to shove his bike back into his apartment.</p><p>“Was that so hard for you?” Ronan asked.</p><p>He stuck his finger up again, this time with more emotion.</p><p>Once they were in the car Adam realised that this would be the first day they spent together, alone. It was the perfect opportunity to take the next step in his plan and get Ronan to ask him out.</p><p>“Look, Parrish.” Ronan spoke after a few minutes of silence. “It doesn’t really matter that you don’t like me, you’re going to have to keep seeing me because Gansey wants you in the group. And if you haven’t noticed yet, Gansey get’s what he wants.”</p><p>“Who said I didn’t like you?”</p><p>“Your face.”</p><p>Adam scoffed, “I can’t help that I have an angry face.”</p><p>“Come on, Parrish.” Ronan sighed. He sounded stern. It was clear that he believed Adam disliked him, and Adam had every right to do so, but it was hard not to be charmed by a boy who could call you names whilst hiding a gift of hand cream for you in his pocket.</p><p>“Ronan, I don’t dislike you.” Adam said and he meant it. It hurt him how much he meant it. Every time he got closer to understanding the enigma of Ronan Lynch he felt Kavinsky’s knife in his chest, twisting, begging him to break Ronan in half. The death of a Father changed Ronan into a closed-off bastard who could only afford to let so little in. Though less dramatic, what would a broken heart do to an already broken boy.</p><p>Ronan scoffed loudly.</p><p>“I mean it, Ronan. You can be an asshole sometimes, but I know that’s just a cover, you’re a good person.” Adam told him.</p><p>“Oh, no, I really am an asshole, don’t get confused.”</p><p>“Maybe I am too.”</p><p>Ronan turned his attention from the road to Adam, his eyes soft. “I doubt that.”</p><p>“Maybe, we just need to get to know each other better.” Adam said, looking away when Ronan’s gaze became too much.</p><p>“Maybe,” Ronan mustered, still looking at Adam.</p><p>“Look where you’re going, asshole!” Adam yelled, panicked when Ronan didn’t start to break so close to a red light. He had heard all about Ronan’s street racing disasters, destroying cars that cost what Adam made in two years, and he wasn’t about to be involved in Ronan’s latest fiasco.</p><p>When Ronan stopped in front of Boyd’s Adam turned around to thank him but was met with an eye roll.</p><p>“I’ll be back to pick you up later, don’t even try to tell me you’ll find your own way home.” Ronan told him straightforwardly.</p><p>“I was <em>actually</em> going to say ‘Thanks, see you soon’ if you had just given me the chance!” Adam snapped before getting out of the car and closing the door a little harder than necessary.</p><p>Ronan grinned and rolled down the windows as he was driving away. “See you later alligator!” He yelled.</p><p>Adam shivered, remembering when Kavinsky had said those words to him. Both boys seemed to have the same humour- Kavinsky just punctuated his with knife wounds.</p><p>“Who was that, kiddo?” Boyd asked as Adam walked into the garage.</p><p>Boyd was a middle-aged human with a good work ethic and an even better heart. To the best of his knowledge Adam was a 17 year old vampire who lived alone but he didn’t treat Adam any different to his adult human workers.</p><p>“A friend from school, he dropped me off.” Adam said as he lifted the hood of a 1997 Lexus that he had been working on his last shift.</p><p>Boyd threw him a smile, “Very nice friend you’ve got yourself, there.”</p><p>“He’s alright.” Adam agreed, focusing on the car and not Boyd’s suggestive eyebrow raise.</p><p>“Listen, kiddo, Michael’s leaving end of this week. He got a big new fancy job, family to raise and all that.” Boyd told him as he wiped the grungy grease from his hands. His hands were just as cracked and damaged as Adams’, hands of a worker who refused to take an easy path. “Few extra shift’s a week could do you some good, comes with a pay rise of course, and I can give you a bit more mentoring so you can finally fix that Lexus.”</p><p>“That would be great, sir. Thank you.” Adam couldn’t help but grin, this meant he could finally quit the factory. The factory hours were tough and the boredom of repeated work was even tougher. Boyd’s gave him a chance to <em>fix</em> things, to use the brain he had filled with so much knowledge. It wasn’t the job he wanted to have forever, but it was the job he was content to have whilst training for his real life.</p><p>“Don’t you go calling me sir again, kiddo.” Boyd sighed as he ruffled Adam’s hair with a laugh. It was a very paternal gesture, one that made Adam wonder who he would have been if he had a Father like Boyd. “Now, come on, let’s fix this baby.”</p><p>Half way through his shift Adam finally got the Lexus to start and the noise of it filled him with joy. He always enjoyed the sound of a rumbling engine that came alive because of his hands, it made him feel powerful and useful. It told him that even if he broke some things, he had the power to mend some too.</p><p>Boyd used the last few minutes of his shift to talk about his extra hours and life-saving pay raise. It put him in such a good mood that he didn’t even care Ronan was outside to drive him home like a child.</p><p>The vampire lay across the hood of his BMW with his eyes closed and loud offensive music played out from his headphones. He had clearly had time to go back to Monmouth because instead of his suit he now sported jeans and a ripped sleeveless tank top, it suited him much better. Adam jabbed Ronan playfully in the side without thinking properly.</p><p>The vampire jumped up immediately and raised his fists towards the threat he had expected. He had witnessed his Father’s murder after all, and it seemed like he was expecting the same end for himself. Just like the vampire Adam had dealt with trauma and so he couldn’t help but flinch when Ronan stepped closer to him.</p><p>“I wasn’t going to hit you.” Ronan mumbled with his head hung.</p><p>“I know.” Adam said, stepping back again.</p><p>“I wouldn’t do that.”<br/><br/>“I know.”</p><p>They stared at each other in silence for moment, each of them trying to figure the other out. Ronan couldn’t smooth his edges out any more than Adam could roughen his up and so they posed a threat to each other. In dangerous scenarios Ronan went for fight and Adam went for flight, they were in all ways, contradictory.</p><p>“Let’s get going, Parrish.” Ronan said eventually. He opened up the passenger door in a theatrical gentlemanly way and gestured for Adam to get in. “How was your child labour?” He asked as he started up his expensive car.</p><p>“It’s not child labour.” Adam huffed. He was almost 18 and he had supported himself for months now, he was far from a child. “Boyd offered me more hours’, which means I can quit the factory.”</p><p>“Good for you man, you hate that factory.” Ronan said. It struck Adam as odd that Ronan had picked up on his dislike of the factory work. He had never outright mentioned it to the boys before and Ronan didn’t seem to be one of those vampires that could pick up on other’s emotions, if he was he would have been able to tell that Adam didn’t hate him.</p><p>“Comes with a pay rise as well,” Adam added.</p><p>“Maybe you can save up for a car so I don’t have to drive your ass around.”</p><p>Adam snapped his head around to look at the boy, “I never asked you to drive me around, you forced me in the car.”</p><p>“Doesn’t sound like me,” Ronan said with a grin. “Anyway, you thirsty?”</p><p>It took Adam a moment to realise Ronan was talking about blood. “Nah,” He answered.</p><p>“Yes you are Parrish, shut up.”</p><p>“Why <em>ask</em> me if you’re just going to-”</p><p>“Look, Parrish. I’ve never actually seen you drink before and it’s starting to worry Dick. So, I’m going to buy you a meal and we’ll never mention it again, okay?” Ronan spoke slowly, as if he was approaching a wild animal, which he kind of was.</p><p>“I can pay for my own meals.” Adam protested.</p><p>“Good for you, didn’t ask.” Ronan said as he pulled into a blood cafe. “Think of it as a congrats on the promotion.”</p><p>Blood cafes were pretty popular with younger vampires, it gave them a place to hang out and feed without any werewolves or human’s judging them. They served different types of blood at different price points and some even mixed blood into coffee and alcohol.</p><p>Adam simply nodded when Ronan looked at him, he knew he wasn’t going to win the argument and somehow he felt less like it was charity when Ronan gave him something. Gansey gave so he could <em>get,</em> he wanted to add Adam to his collection of broken boys that he mended and knew he could mend Adam with money. Ronan gave simply because he could.</p><p>As they entered the cafe Adam was thankful for vampire’s weak noses. The reason his lie was so easy to tell was because vampires were pretty inferior to werewolves when it came to detective work. They could smell the differences of blood and could pick up scents of people they were around a lot, but to all the vampire’s in that cafe Adam would just smell like a normal vampire. If he was to get injured they would be able to smell the wolf in him, but considering Kavinsky wasn’t around he would be able to get through this without any of his blood being spilled.</p><p>Adam sat down at a table in the corner of the cafe and had a look around. He was so used to seeing only the students at Aglionby that he kind of forgot female vampires existed. They were much more creature-like than the female werewolves Adam had known, and much bonier than the vampire boys. Adam wasn’t a fan.</p><p>Ronan, holding two black out cups, walked past one of the females. She smiled at him kindly but he simply ignored her. “It’s O neg so don’t act like I’ve spent my inheritance on it, Parrish.” Ronan said as he passed over one of the cups.</p><p>Adam took the cup and looked at the dark red liquid. He wasn’t entirely repulsed, his wolf enjoyed raw meat and with that came tasting a lot of blood. His Father was notorious for biting chunks off of humans that angered him and always described the taste as pleasant. So a mix of animal and human blood didn’t sound too disgusting, but the feeling of it sliding down his throat wasn’t as pleasing as digging into a portion of meat. It did however diminish his hunger slightly and he hoped Ronan would pick up on this.</p><p>As he looked at Ronan, directly in front of him, he realised how it looked. Other’s either seen them as two friends hanging out or two boys on a date. He couldn’t help but blush at the second thought.<br/><br/>He had never been on a proper date. When he was younger he had kissed a girl in the trailer park, both of them wanted to know what it was like, but they were children and didn't feel the need to <em>date</em>. Over the year's Adam found girls and boys attractive and often pondered asking them out but he hadn't never actually went through with it, he had too much work and too much homework to ever devote himself to a person. He had worked so hard to become his best self, he wouldn't ruin it for something as trivial as a relationship.</p><p>“So, what’s Gansey’s girlfriend like?” Adam asked, trying to get his mind off the vicious cycle of wondering if this was a real date and wondering if he <em>wanted</em> it to be one.</p><p>Ronan smirked, “Bet you’re jealous.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’ve become Gansey’s sidepiece since you let him talk about his precious Glendower,” Ronan groaned, swirling the blood around his cup. “Now you’ll be meeting his main chick.”</p><p>Adam laughed, “Gansey’s not really my type.”</p><p>“You have a type, Parrish?” Ronan grinned, brilliant white fangs and all. Adam was always surprised by the fact blood never stained their teeth, which is probably more than can be said for his cheap fakes. He would most likely have to give them a good scrubbing to get all the plasma off them.</p><p>“I like a bad boy,” He answered jokingly before he could give it better thought.</p><p>Ronan’s cheeks went red, which was very uncommon and strange for a vampire. They had blood and a beating heart of course but their diet made them paler and their blood weaker, and yet Ronan’s blood was working overtime to heat up his cheeks.</p><p>“Or a bad girl, I’m not that picky.” Adam mumbled quickly.</p><p>Ronan took a long drink of his blood before looking at Adam again. “You’d like Blue, then. Maybe you, her and Gansey can become a throuple.”</p><p>Adam noticed that Ronan had mostly dodged his question on what Blue was like but didn’t want to push for a further explanation. Most likely she would be like all the other’s Gansey collected, a little bit strange, a little bit broken but unique and likeable.</p><p>It went quiet after that, Adam got uncomfortable in silence and so he asked, “Why do you street race?”</p><p>"Why do you flinch when someone moves to fast?” Ronan didn't waste time and simply ping-ponged the blunt question right back at him.</p><p>Adam knew that if he was to get Ronan to ask him out he would have to show him all the sides of him, he would have to show him <em>why</em> he had the energy to argue with him so fiercely.<br/><br/>“My father beat me.”</p><p>Ronan faltered, cup raised to his mouth. He had clearly asked the question not actually expecting an answer and was now lost for words. Eventually all he could muster up was a light swear.</p><p>“Why do you street race?” Adam pressed.</p><p>“Shit, Parrish, I don’t know.” Ronan shrugged, a clear lie, his heart rate was around 50 BMP which is more than double what it should be for a vampire his age and class.</p><p>“I can’t hear out of my left ear because of my Father.” Adam told him, he had meant for it to be a sort of cushion between them. Adam told him a secret, so now Ronan should be able to tell him one. But instead all it got him was a pitying look.</p><p>“Jesus Christ,” Ronan mumbled.</p><p>Adam took another drink of the thick and silky liquid before nodding his head at Ronan, encouraging but also demanding.</p><p>“I guess I just like it,” He said, then realising it wasn’t enough he continued. “I like when I get so far away from a car that it becomes unrecognisable, and I like to imagine I’m going so fast that no one can ever catch me, not the police, not Kavinsky and not the bastard that killed my Father. Is that what you wanted to hear Parrish?”</p><p>Ronan had finished off in a sort of hiss and a speck of blood flew from his mouth to Adam’s cheek. He simply wiped the blood off with his shoulder and asked, “Can you say that again? I couldn’t hear it properly, y’know, cause my deaf ear.”</p><p>Ronan regarded him strangely for a moment, perhaps trying to figure out if Adam was trying to one up him in childhood trauma or if he was trying to defuse his rage with a sick attempt at humour.</p><p>“Asshole,” Ronan laughed when he realised Adam was joking. He tipped the rest of the blood into his mouth and licked any drops off his lips. “C’mon, let’s get you home, Cinderella.” He said.</p><p>Adam followed suit and drank up the rest of his blood, he couldn’t leave any or Ronan would be suspicious. When he stood up Ronan rolled his eyes at him and before he could question it the vampire dragged his thumb over the corner of Adam's mouth and placed it in his mouth, sucking off a bit of blood that Adam had dripped.</p><p>“You can’t get in my car with blood dripping down your mouth Parrish. We’re vampires, not savages.” He chastised him playfully before walking away.</p><p>Adam stood dumbfounded for a few seconds, his lip still tingling from where Ronan brushed it.</p><p>“Parrish, move it!” Ronan yelled from the door.</p><p>He ran to catch up with him, his hips hitting off of every chair possible in his awkward haste.</p><p>They had a quiet drive back to Adam’s apartment. Ronan kept a steady eye on his speed after their conversation and Adam kept a steady eye on the road trying to get the image of the blood, Ronan and Ronan’s mouth out of his brain.</p><p>“Thanks for today.” Adam said when Ronan stopped the car.</p><p>Ronan grinned at him and attempted to imitate Adam’s southern drawl that he had let slip the other day. “My lord, did Mr Independent just thank me? My little precious heart just <em>cannot</em> handle the surprise.”</p><p>Adam ignored the mockery, finally hearing the difference between playful Ronan and offensive Ronan. “And thank you for the tape.”</p><p>“Don’t know what you’re talking about Parrish.”</p><p>“And thank you for the hand cream.”</p><p>“Double don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ronan grumbled, getting visibly agitated. “And get out my car, hurry up now that’s a good boy.”</p><p>Adam held the door open for a second, waiting for Ronan to look at him. “I’m serious Ronan, thank you.” He said.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, whatever, get going.” Ronan started up the car and pressed down on the gas aggressively.</p><p>“Later, Lynch.” Adam smiled as he shut the door.</p><p>Ronan didn’t drive off until Adam got inside and when he did, he seemed to follow the speed limit. A small victory.</p><p>Adam placed his keys on his desk and rubbed at his eyes vigorously. There were so many sides to Ronan Lynch that he was starting to get dizzy finding them all.</p><p>The side Adam met today, serene and thoughtful but still fiery and persistent, that was undoubtedly the best side of Ronan Lynch.</p><p>Growing up Adam had never had the time or the safety to find out what kind of boy he liked. He couldn’t risk his Father finding out that he was bisexual and once he left home he couldn’t muster up any interest in dating considering the only options he could see were pretentious Aglionby boys.</p><p>But, he was starting to realise that subconsciously he knew what his type was. He had said as much to Ronan already.</p><p>He liked a bad boy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys! I kinda rushed the editing on this one because I wanted to post so if there's any mistakes I'm sorry!<br/>Hope everyone is staying safe!<br/>The next chapter will be in Ronan's POV!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Tad Carruthers and Ronan Lynch, more similar than you would think (Ronan's POV)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys, sorry it's been a while since I've posted and that the chapter isn't very long, the isolation is getting to me.<br/>How is everyone doing, what is the virus like where you're from?<br/>I'm from a place called Greenock in Scotland and Greenock is apparently the corona capital of Scotland, meaning, we are not doing very well. But, it's getting better day by day so hopefully next month I can get back to work and get back to college. <br/>Hope everyone is well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan hated lies and despised liars.</p><p>Most people lied for personal gain, some lied for kindness. Neither was a good enough reason.</p><p>When Gansey asked him why he fought with Adam so much, Ronan did not lie but he <em>did</em> bend the truth. He simply stated that it was incredibly easy to wind Parrish up, which was the truth, just a diluted version.</p><p>The whole truth was that Ronan was infatuated. He loved the look in Adam’s eyes when he was so sure he was in the right and he <em>craved</em> the look Adam gave him when he wasn’t sure he was right but fought so hard to pretend he was.</p><p>His feelings for Adam started off as a small fire, a way of keeping warm, but now they were a whole forest fire and he was burning alive.</p><p>On Monday morning he was still high on the emotions of the day before.</p><p>When he brushed his teeth he remembered touching the side of Adam’s mouth, caressing it like a creepy pervert. That wasn’t his finest moment and he regretted it immediately, he had reached for Adam without thinking because that’s what Adam did to him, made him lose all sane thoughts.</p><p>When he twisted his ring around his finger he thought of the hand cream he had given Adam. Ronan liked Adam’s hands, they were beautiful but rough, just like him.</p><p>When he put his earphones in he thought about how Adam was deaf in his left ear. It was easy to see Adam wasn’t cared for like he should be but Ronan hadn’t thought it to be that serious until it was spelled it out for him. It made Ronan furious to think that someone could do such harm to a boy like Adam Parrish. If Ronan ever met the man that abused his own perfect son he’s not too sure he could allow him to continue breathing.</p><p>And when Gansey asked how Adam was the day before he ignored him in favour of thinking about Adam’s words. He thought of how Adam told him that he knew Ronan was a good person, and they should get to know each other better. And he thought very hard on the fact Adam slyly admitted that he was at the very least bisexual.</p><p>“Ronan, stop ignoring me,” Gansey chastised him as they stood at the front door of Monmouth. “Please tell me you didn’t spend the whole day fighting with Adam.”</p><p>“I was in Church most of the day and he was at work so that would be impossible.”</p><p>“Ronan,” When Gansey said ‘Ronan’ it sounded like ‘please.’</p><p>“Parrish is fine, okay, you can talk to him yourself in about ten minutes anyway, <em>Christ</em>.” Ronan groaned. He enjoyed thinking about Adam but he hated <em>talking</em> about Adam, especially with Gansey. Gansey was just as infatuated with Adam as Ronan was, just in a different way. When Ronan thought of Adam he saw fire and lust, when Gansey spoke of Adam he made him sound like a little bird in need of help, it wasn’t as sexy of an image.</p><p>“Ronan’s very touchy this morning.” Noah commented. When he said ‘Ronan’ it sounded like a joke.</p><p>Ronan cuffed Noah on the back of the head. “Shut up, Czerny.”</p><p>“So mean,” Noah whined. “Why is it always <em>me</em> you hit.”</p><p>“Gansey’s probably got ties to the president and Adam’s not here.” Ronan answered simply. It was another diluted lie, the full truth was even if Adam was there Ronan wouldn't have dared lay an aggressive hand on the boy, especially not after the look he had given him yesterday when he moved too fast, too close. Ronan would burn cities of people if it meant Adam never felt the urge to flinch again.</p><p>“I don’t have ties to the president,” Gansey said, “That I know of anyway.”</p><p>Ronan turned to Noah and cuffed him on the head one last time. “So that means you’re my safest target.”</p><p>“I hate this family!” Noah yelled as he ran outside to the safety of The Pig.</p><p>Gansey sighed, “What must the neighbours think of us.”</p><p>“We don’t even have any neighbours, Dick.”</p><p>When they arrived at Aglionby Gansey began to pout, Ronan had made them slightly late and so Gansey couldn’t speak to his beloved new pet Adam until the break. Ronan however got to spend the first class of the day staring at the boy who paid too much attention to the teacher to ever notice the greedy eyes on him.</p><p>It wasn’t just Ronan who stared. Tad Carruthers practically wet his pants whenever Adam chewed on the edge of his pencil. Ronan liked to believe that he saved Adam’s virtue by stealing Tad’s seat considering he clearly couldn’t be trusted to keep it in his pants for much longer.</p><p>“Morning, Adam, did you have a good weekend?” Tad cuffed Adam on the back of the head before the class started. It was less like the kind of playful cuff Ronan gave Noah and more like he caressed the back of Adam’s head and teased his hair.</p><p>Ronan groaned and placed his head on the table, Tad annoyed him too much for words and seeing him flirt with Adam was painful to watch. Not just because he <em>also</em> had an awkward crush but because Tad couldn’t tell that Adam disliked him and it gave Ronan second-hand embarrassment. It also made him wonder if anyone looked at Ronan and thought him the same as Tad, an awkward love-sick idiot.</p><p>“Uh, yeah, I mostly worked though.” Adam answered Tad with visible discomfort.</p><p>“Oh, a working man,” Tad mused, pathetically. “Do you ever get a day off from it?”</p><p><em>Was he trying to ask Adam out?</em> Ronan thought, enraged.</p><p>“Uh sometimes, I guess.”</p><p>Something landed heavily on Ronan’s foot and it took him a few second’s to realise it was <em>Adam’s</em> foot, pressing down on his in panic. He lifted his head to see Adam’s eyes wide as Tad grinned at him like a small skinny shark.</p><p>“Parrish, you’re coming to hang with me and Noah tonight aren’t you?” Ronan asked, leaning back in his chair until he hit Tad with it. He backed off slightly but kept his eyes centred on Adam, probably mentally undressing him.</p><p>Adam smiled in relief, “Yeah, I already told you that yesterday, Lynch.”</p><p>Tad eye’s lost their lustful sparkle and he turned his attention away from Adam to glare at Ronan. He didn’t even care if Tad knew that he was in the same boat as him, at least Ronan’s boat was closer to Adam.</p><p>“Class is starting soon, Taddy boy.” Ronan smirked, putting his chair back onto the ground so that Tad could run away with his tail between his legs.</p><p>“Unusual for you to care, Lynch,” Tad hissed as he finally left.</p><p>“<em>Thank you.</em>” Adam sighed, not quietly and not caring if Tad could hear it. “I’ve got enough to deal with I don’t need to add Tad’s annoying friendship. Thank you for the quick lie.” Apparently Adam was too dumb to see that Tad didn’t want <em>friendship, </em>he wanted to touch Adam’s freckles and run his hand down Adam’s chest, just like Ronan wanted.</p><p>“I don’t lie.” Ronan reminded him. “You’re coming to help me babysit Noah whilst Gansey’s over at his little friends.”</p><p>“<em>Babysit</em>?”</p><p>“Can’t get out of it now, you already agreed,” Ronan smirked. He had wanted to invite Adam over anyway and this gave him a perfect opportunity to get what he wanted without looking like a fool just like Tad.</p><p>“I have work at Boyd’s until seven.” Adam protested, his cheeks puffing up. It was both endearing and maddening all at once.</p><p>“I’ll pick you up at seven then.” Ronan told him smugly. When Adam still looked ready to argue he continued, “If you don’t come Noah’s going to annoy me all night and I’ll have to throw him out of the window again, maybe a window that’s higher up this time so I can keep him quiet.”</p><p>Adam glared at him, “You can’t just threaten Noah to get what you want.”</p><p>“Well, I can, Parrish, because I just did.”</p><p>“Fine,” Adam snapped, a little too loudly for a class environment. Tad would be thinking it was his time to swoop in. “But you need to take me home by at least 10, we’re not all insomniacs.”</p><p>“Alright, Grandma, you can be asleep by 10:30 don’t worry.” Ronan teased before placing his head back on the table again. He didn’t want Adam to see his face and think he was happy with the outcome, even though he was. When Gansey had told them that morning he would be going to Blue’s straight after school Ronan had immediately thought of Adam. Noah would also be there but that was okay. Ronan didn’t want to put the moves on Adam or anything, he just wanted to be near him, wanted to hear his steady breath and smell the scent of coffee and petrol from him.</p><p><em>Fucking hell¸</em> Ronan thought to himself, <em>I’ve got it bad.</em></p><p>When class started Ronan didn’t raise his head and the teacher didn’t attempt to make him. He was infamous for not paying attention in any class and the teacher’s seemed happy to just tick his name off the register and forget about him as long as he didn’t fool around.</p><p>Gansey’s pout got significantly larger and more annoying when Adam ditched them at lunch in favour of doing his homework in the library. He had joined the boy’s for a quick minute to explain to Gansey that Ronan was forcing him to go to Monmouth tonight and so he needed to get some work done since he couldn't do it after work.</p><p>“Maybe I should just ask Blue to come over to Monmouth tonight and we can all do something together?” Gansey asked as Adam left, clutching his book’s close to his chest and swaying those pointy hips unintentionally causing an awkward awakening for all the younger gay students no doubt.</p><p>“I don’t think Blue likes when plans are changed.” Noah commented. He had a strangely close friendship with Gansey's girlfriend, admittedly so did Ronan, and often knew more about her principles that Gansey did.</p><p>“That’s true it could be a little bit rude.” Gansey hummed. “And we do have the house <em>mostly</em> to ourselves since the elder ladies are having some sort of meeting out of town.”</p><p>Ronan raised an eyebrow, “Elder ladies?”</p><p>“Does that not seem kinder than older?” Gansey rarely knew what was 'kinder' when it came to other people. When he first met Blue he had treated her <em>kindly </em>by attempting to pay her more than she earned at her waitressing job just so he could talk to her. After that Blue had poured ice tea over him and tried to throw them out of Nino's pizzeria for insinuating that she could be bought like a prostitute. Ronan wasn't completely sure what happened after that but somehow Gansey convinced her to date him.</p><p>Ronan snorted, “No, it does no sound kinder.”</p><p>“Well, the older ladies then.”</p><p>“Wait, an empty house?” Ronan smirked, leaning on the table slightly to get closer to his friend. “Dick you old <em>dog</em>, are you getting lucky tonight?”</p><p>Gansey choked on the blood he was drinking, “No of course not, don’t be asinine, Ronan.”</p><p>Ronan groaned, “<em>Asinine</em>, really?”</p><p>“I simply want to be with her without an Aunt, or Mother, or family friend interrupting us that’s all.” Gansey told them. Blue did have a lot of females in one tiny house and none of them had the slightest idea what personal boundaries were. “Plus, I said we <em>mostly</em> have an empty house. I’m sure Orla will be a steady nuisance.”</p><p>Ronan had spoken to Orla only once and hated every minute of it. She was the kind of girl that thought every boy should notice her, even Ronan. When he refused to acknowledge her she became catty and annoying, two of the worst things to be in Ronan’s eyes, and so he gave her back two qualities of his, aggressive and offensive. After  that one meeting Orla stayed away from him whenever he was forced into Blue's poverty shelter.</p><p>“What about you, Ronan?” Noah spoke in a singing tone, one meant to annoy him. Noah done lots of things to annoy Ronan, it seemed to be the one thing he was born for.</p><p>Ronan scowled, “What <em>about</em> me?”</p><p>“Are you getting lucky tonight?”</p><p>Ronan regarded his friend carefully before saying, “I’ll get lucky if you drop dead, gremlin.”</p><p>Gansey gasped, “<em>Ronan!”</em></p><p>“My ghost would just come and haunt you.” Noah shrugged simply, unbothered by the harsh words of his friend.</p><p>Ronan grunted, “Oh, I don’t doubt that. You’d be even more annoying as a ghost.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How do you guy's feel about this chapter in Ronan's POV and would you like other characters to have their own POV chapter?<br/>_<br/>I'll try get another chapter up soon but I just wanted to ask you guys if you could do me a favour and hold off any constructive criticism until the end of this fanfic. This is simply because as a person I'm pretty bad at taking criticism in the middle of a project, I end up losing the will do continue it and I wouldn't want to stop half way through. I also dont want to change my writing style half way through a story if you get what I mean. <br/>I hope you guys understand what I'm saying and respect this and when the story is over I would love to get some constructive criticism. Thanks so much guys! Stay safe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Bipolar Whiplash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry the chapters haven't been updated as much I'll try work a bit faster!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After five minutes of waiting Adam couldn’t help but let out a single weighty sigh. He didn’t even <em>want</em> to go to Monmouth after his shift but it was the lesser of two evils- better to have a relatively calm night with boys he was comfortable with than spend any time with Tad ‘Desperate for friendship’ Carruthers. He would rather the option of no evil, of course, which entailed catching up on homework and getting a heavenly early sleep but after so many arguments he was finally breaking down Ronan’s walls and didn’t want to force them back up by rejecting him.</p><p>He kicked at a few stones towards the garage door. At this point in his life his body ran solely on anxious energy and caffeine and standing still made him uneasy, so he hitched his backpack full of dirty overalls over his back and got onto his bike. The roads were in a state of calm and so he was bound to see Ronan whenever he decided to show up.</p><p>He hadn’t even been given the time to create a steady peddling rhythm when he was bombarded with the sound of a loud horn and tyres screeching. When he realised it was only the BMW he got off his bike and walked towards it with a small smile, as he opened the back door to put his bike in he was immediately met with aggression.</p><p>“What the <em>fuck</em> Parrish?” Ronan snapped.</p><p>Adam paused, and decided to take his bike back for a moment, not liking the amount of venom Ronan sent him. “What?” He asked, moving to glance at the vampire through the rolled down passenger window.</p><p>“This isn’t Boyd’s, fuckbucket!”<br/><br/>Adam recoiled and crossed his arms across his chest. “It’s like five minutes away from it, chill out, I was just trying to meet you half way or something.”</p><p>“I don’t think a mugger really cares if you’re half way to safety- OR SOMETHING!” Ronan scoffed, finishing in a shout.</p><p>“Will you let that go already, Jesus Christ, I’m already healing.” Adam groaned, sick and tired of being babied as though he wasn’t capable of taking care himself when he had been doing that all of his life.</p><p>Ronan levelled his eyes towards Adam and he could sense that something bad was about to be thrown at him, his eyes were sharp and fixed. “I know your daddy issues have fucked you up but surely you can understand why you’re friends are worried about you.” He said slowly. The words were clearly meant to evoke anger from Adam but after such a long and strenuous day he wasn’t in a position to give Ronan the fight he desired.</p><p>Adam took one last look at the vampire, the bastard that could make you forget he was a bastard but remind you with only a few words, and then Adam turned around and dragged himself and his pitiful bike away.</p><p>He got a good few stomps away before the BMW started reversing towards him. Adam hissed towards the car and its driver before climbing onto his bike-knowing in his heart that no matter how long he’d been riding his bike he’d never been able to outrun a car, never mind a street racer’s car.</p><p>“Shit Parrish, get in the car.” Ronan yelled out of his window.</p><p>Adam answered him with a specific finger.</p><p>“Adam, I’m sorry, okay? Please get in the damn car before I cause a crash.” Ronan begged as he reversed the car until he was so far in front of Adam that they could see each other. He sent Adam a pleading glance as he parked the car and leaned over to open the passenger door.</p><p>Adam groaned. He wanted to keep going until he was far away from the mess that was Ronan Lynch, and consequently the bipolar headache he gave Adam, but he knew that all the bad air had cleared as soon as Ronan called him ‘Adam’ and not ‘Parrish.</p><p>He put his bike into the back of the car and then took his place upfront. When Ronan turned around to face him he turned away. “Just don’t talk to me for a bit.” He warned.</p><p>He had just over three weeks to break Ronan Lynch into pieces. It was entirely possible that Ronan Lynch could use those three weeks to do the exact same to him. Every time Ronan pushed him down he picked him back up with careful worship and Adam was welcoming the cycle of impertinence followed by compassion. He was welcoming as much destruction as he was giving out.</p><p>Ronan shrugged his strong shoulders before scoffing, “The fuck would I talk about?”</p><p>The drive to Monmouth was silent and awkward. It was so quiet that Adam had to slow down his breathing to match Ronan’s so the vampire didn’t get suspicious. When Adam finally got inside Monmouth he was immediately pulled into a tight embrace.</p><p>“Thank god!” Noah cried, shaking Adam side to side before slowly letting go. He had clearly just fed as there was a crimson streak down the left side of his mouth. Adam was unsure if it was due to his spending all his time with vampires or the fact Noah was undoubtedly different, but he found the dripping stain made Noah look like a messy child instead of a ghastly monster.</p><p>“Hi, Noah,” Adam smiled at him.</p><p>“I’m so glad you’re here and I’m not alone with Ronan anymore!” Noah gasped happily.</p><p>“My thoughts exactly,” Adam agreed.</p><p>Ronan hissed at them, nothing about him could be described as child like. He was in many ways the opposite of Noah. Where the blonde vampire looked innocent but troubled Ronan looked guilty and troubling.</p><p>“Do you want anything to drink, Parrish?” Ronan asked as he headed to the special cooler. Adam shook his head as the vampire brought out a blood bag and carefully tipped it into a glass, there was no need for blackout cups when they all drank the same meals.</p><p>“Are you sure, Adam? We have lots of different types!” Noah said animatedly as he managed to lick off the leftover trickle of his meal.</p><p>“I’m good, already ate.” He lied.</p><p>He could see Ronan’s suspicious glance out of the corner of his eyes but he had already pushed Adam far enough for one day and so he simply raised his glass and took a drink, licking his lips carefully to catch any excess. Adam was forced to remember the time Ronan took the excess blood off Adam’s lips and pressed it to his own.</p><p>“Are you really sure Adam, you look...<em>thirsty.</em>” Noah whispered to him. When Adam turned around to answer he noticed the vampire wore a devilish smirk.</p><p>“I’m fine.” He said and sat on the couch in front of the TV.</p><p>Noah’s smirk grew as he sat on the sofa chair to Adam’s left. “Someone seems to think so.”</p><p>Adam tilted his head instinctively before he could remember the action to be characteristically <em>werewolf</em>. It had always been hard for him to understand Noah Czerny. He was sweet and kind, but there was something about him that was as unknowable as Ronan. Noah wasn’t always the biggest conversationalist and yet he always seemed to have something to say.  </p><p>“Right, what movie is it?” Ronan asked as he sat down on the couch Adam was perched on.</p><p>“<em>Kerah!” </em>A flutter of black flashed before his eyes and settled on his shoulder. Adam looked at the bird curiously as it nibbled on his ear in a way that could only be described as <em>tentatively. </em>She was a curious thing, dark and furious but ultimately loveable, made from the same mould as her owner. After a few bites on his ear Chainsaw swooped over to perch on Ronan’s shoulder.</p><p>Adam must have looked at the bird thoughtfully as Ronan smiled at her before bringing the smile towards him. “She likes you.” He said.</p><p>“I like her.” Adam admitted. He crossed his legs into a basket and settled in. The couch was soft and comfortable, both things his bed was not and he was half scared he’d end up falling asleep due to the pleasant condition.</p><p>“So what movie?” Ronan asked again as he took a drink of his blood. Adam could smell the metallic aroma of it from his position next to the vampire. “What about horror?” Ronan supplied when neither boy answered him.</p><p>Noah shook his head, “Disney.”</p><p>“Horror.” Ronan pressed.</p><p>Noah looked at Adam with pleading eyes until he gave in. “Disney.” He shrugged. He had never really been allowed to watch the TV, considering it was the most expensive thing in the house and the only thing to give his Father joy outside of abusing his family, and so he couldn’t care less what the vampire’s chose to watch but he felt happier agreeing with Noah.</p><p>Ronan scoffed, “Tag teaming pricks.”</p><p>“What’s your favourite Disney movie, Adam?” Noah asked with a wide smile.</p><p>Adam had to think for a moment. He vaguely remembered watching the lion Disney movie in middle school and tells his friends as much.</p><p>“Dear god, Parrish, I knew you had a shitty childhood but <em>no Disney?</em>” Ronan gasped and clawed at his heart. Adam watched him with a grin and decided that in rare moments Ronan could be described as<em> childish.</em></p><p>“I didn’t really have the time for it. I was busy sweeping chimneys and recovering from small pox.” Adam said, dragging a finger down his cheek as though it was a tear.</p><p>“Disney is for princes and not paupers, then.” Ronan smirked.</p><p>Noah snapped his fingers at the boys impatiently, “What movie?”</p><p>Ronan rubbed his hands together loudly before clasping them. “Well, we’re popping Parrish’s Disney cherry so it’s got to be a good one. So we’re skipping right past Snow White, I can sign to birds as well bitch it’s not a big deal. No Cinderella, if the shoe was a perfect fit why did it fucking fall off?” Ronan mused angrily. No one could have ever guessed that the street racer would be a Disney fanatic. “Beauty and the beast is a no, I’m not a fan of bestiality.”</p><p>Adam laughed at the irony of that comment. If Kavinsky and all the little signs Ronan had been giving him were right then Ronan was absolutely a fan of bestiality, he just wasn’t aware of it. <br/><br/>Noah, who had been contently listening to his friend’s passionate criticism on children’s movies, shot up from the couch suddenly and grabbed a DVD out of the stand. “What about Mulan!” He yelled, shaking the DVD in his hands.</p><p>“Yeah, Mulan is badass, put that on.” Ronan nodded strongly, clearly a fan.</p><p>Half way through the movie Adam wasn’t sure if he had missed out on much growing up without Disney. It was an okay movie but only because of the talking dragon. He was so tired and uninterested that he had to fight to keep his eyes open.</p><p>“He’s asleep.” Ronan grunted suddenly. Adam half thought Ronan was talking about him but then he noticed Noah.</p><p>“He’s clearly very hyper and annoying, I’m glad I’m here to keep you from killing him.” Adam rolled his eyes as he watched the small vampire sleep.</p><p>Noah, usually so hyperactive, didn’t so much as twitch at their voices. His breathing had slowed to such an extent that Adam couldn’t see any rise or fall in his dainty chest. When he first started up his lie at Aglionby it was always outlandish seeing the unique kind of breaths vampires took, he was used to the idea of them being breathless, but now it had become terrifying to see Noah’s body resemble that of an unmoving corpse.</p><p>“He’s <em>usually</em> a pain my ass. You just have a calming influence on him.” Ronan said with a shrug.<br/><br/>Adam laughed. Nothing about him was calm.</p><p>“I mean it,” Ronan continued. “You’ve made us all more...grounded.”</p><p>It sounded like a joke, punishment for walking away from Boyd’s, but Ronan’s face contained no trace of humour.</p><p>“Feeling’s mutual.” Adam mumbled, slightly unnerved by the quick change in atmosphere. After a few moments of silence he let slapped his knees and moved to get up from the couch. “Well, my jobs done then, I’ll get going. Would you mind driving me?” He said. He was hoping for some sort of romantic awakening on the drive home, something a little different to what they experienced on the way to Monmouth.</p><p>“Can stay for a bit if you want,” Ronan shrugged. “I couldn’t give less of a shit.”</p><p>Adam remembered the first time he was invited to Monmouth and how Ronan said those same words when asked if he minded Adam’s participation in the group. And he remembered what Noah said to him.</p><p>
  <em>In Ronan language that means please come.</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Adam said, nonchalantly.</p><p>Ronan lifted his shoulder to get rid of his bird, she flew away to Noah where she gently pecked at his stray hairs, and then he reached out his hand to pull Adam up from the couch. “C’mon, we can hang in my room so we don’t wake sleeping beauty.”</p><p>“Cool,” Adam took his hand before he could think better of it.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>, you’re hot Parrish.” Ronan hissed, shaking his hand as though it had been engulfed in flames.</p><p>“Sorry, I was sitting on it.” Adam said before he could think of something smarter to say.</p><p>Werewolves were naturally warm, all that fur they hid had some amazing heating properties, and to add to that Adam was a nervous sweater, which meant whenever he was around Ronan Lynch his body became a boiling pot.</p><p>“Dumbass,” Ronan shrugged, either content with the excuse or too unbothered to question it further, and lead Adam to his room.</p><p>The room was exactly what Adam was expecting of Ronan Lynch- minus a coffin. It was a perfect mix of dark and light. Some sort of metal band poster hung on the wall across from a calendar of baby farm animals. The minimalistic black furniture and bedding complimented the fluorescent bird posts and toys for his pet. Adam was about to inspect what looked like toy racing cars when he was suddenly pushed onto the ground.</p><p>“What the <em>fuck, </em>Lynch!” He yelled as he tried to get up. Ronan kept him pushed into the floor but allowed him to turn around to face him. There was no sign of aggression or hunger in the vampire’s face, but there was determination and a clear thought process- which was worse.</p><p>“Thought you could defend yourself?”</p><p>“Are you <em>kidding</em> me right now?”</p><p>“Defend yourself.” Ronan pressed with a grin- he was enjoying this.</p><p>Adam wondered if Kavinsky had done so much visible damage to him because he knew it would make Ronan become a pain in his ass.</p><p>He pulled his knee up to Ronan’s chest and pushed the vampire off him for a moment. The move was something he had always wanted to use on Kavinsky but knew it would end up with his blood spilled on the floor.</p><p>“You didn’t even give me any warning, asshole.” He snapped.</p><p>Ronan was on him again within seconds, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him back into the cold wooden floor. Unlike Adam’s floor there were no broken pieces or splinters but it was still highly uncomfortable and not how he wanted to spend his night.</p><p>“I don’t know many attackers that would give warning, Parrish.” Ronan smirked, dangerously close to Adam’s face. Up close Adam could see how long and thick Ronan’s eyelashes were- how delicate the curve on them was, how beautiful they were- and just how fucked Adam was.</p><p>He groaned and pushed his knee up again, “Why do you know <em>any </em>attackers?”</p><p>“Smart ass,” Ronan rolled his eyes as he dodged Adam’s attack by gently pressing his on knees onto Adam’s.</p><p>He was so used to being attacked with brute force and weapons that Ronan’s attacks felt more like dancing. He was gentle in his strength but still commanding and fast.</p><p>“Enough, Lynch,” Adam told him. “Let me go.”</p><p>The vampire’s face was positioned just above his and he could smell the blood on his breath. He could feel the coldness of his blood rushing through his body as he pinned Adam down and Ronan could no doubt feel the seething heat from Adam’s skin.</p><p>Ronan pressed his body onto Adam’s as he spoke, “If you’re so sure you can protect yourself, then do it, make me let you go.”</p><p>“Let me go, Ronan.” Adam snapped.</p><p>“Make me.”</p><p>Adam’s wolf had been howling throughout the whole encounter, it expected loyalty from Ronan and wasn’t pleased with the attack. Now was the time to listen to his wolf. Adam held in his growl but used his wolf’s strength to knock Ronan’s head with his shoulder and duck under his body whilst he was dazed, then he grabbed Ronan’s shoulders, turned him around to face him and pinned him down, just like he had done to Adam.</p><p>“I know how to protect myself,” He told Ronan’s shocked face, the expression was marvellous. “But fighting will always make things worse for me. It’s how I lost my hearing.”</p><p>Ronan’s face went through multiple expressions in a matter of seconds. He was shocked that Adam wasn’t lying when he told him he could protect himself, then he was angry at the reminder Adam was no stranger to being attacked, and then he seemed to melt into an expression Adam had never seen before.</p><p>Ronan pulled his hand out from where it was pinned under Adam’s legs and he dragged it across Adam’s eye, the eye that had been bruised but now healed, and then down to his neck where the faint bruise of a foot still lay.</p><p>“Adam,” Ronan said sadly.</p><p>“I’m fine, Ronan.” Adam told him.</p><p>Ronan moved his hand to the back of Adam’s neck, brushing past his hair and sending tingles throughout Adam’s body. Then he pulled slightly, an invitation and not a command.</p><p>Adam leaned down towards Ronan as he leaned up.</p><p>“I’m home!”</p><p>Ronan flinched at the loud call and slam of the door, and then he pushed Adam off himself, not gently. Adam repressed his sigh and simply perched on the side of Ronan’s bed, trying hard not to look at the other boy and as he lay down on the ground with a thud just as the door opened.</p><p>“You guys left me alone!” Noah yelled with a pout, Gansey at his heels.</p><p>“You fell asleep.” Ronan shrugged from the floor, his face harder than it had been moments ago. “Anyway, Parrish was just leaving, you slept through the game of dyslexia free scrabble we just had.” He taunted.</p><p>Adam was getting whiplash from the vampire. One moment he was lightly gesturing for a kiss and now he was throwing Adam out of his house. He didn’t know what, but Adam had clearly done something wrong to get results this confusing.</p><p>“Oh, must you go, Adam, I’m only just home.” Gansey asked sadly.</p><p>It was only nine o’clock, a whole hour before he had told Ronan he needed to leave but if he stayed it would be showing Ronan that he could play with Adam however he wanted without any repercussions, pushing and pulling him until he was dizzy. Adam knew he had a job to do put he wasn't willing to be someone's toy for it.</p><p>“Yeah, I need to get some homework done.” He said.</p><p>“Well, that’s fair enough.” Gansey smiled lightly. “I’ll take him home, I haven’t even taken my shoes off anyway.” He added, nodding his head towards Ronan who had just gotten up from the floor.</p><p>Adam looked at him, surprised. After pushing him away unkindly Ronan was still willingly to go through what would have been a very awkward drive back to St Agnes. Ronan simply shrugged his shoulders and slouched back onto the ground, no emotion visible on his face.</p><p>“Thanks for saving me from Ronan tonight, Adam.” Noah grinned, leaning in to give Adam a side hug with his freezing arms.</p><p>“Yeah, no worries,” Adam nodded awkwardly.</p><p>Gansey didn’t speak to him until they had pulled away from Monmouth in the Pig and when he did speak he spoke in a disappointed tone.</p><p>“Did you and Ronan have another fight?” He asked. When Adam refused to answer he added, “You were both acting strange, and very...panty. I hope you weren’t physical with each other.”</p><p>Adam turned to face the window, hoping he could hide the blush that he could feel rising. “No we weren’t fighting. We just had a...clashing.” He said, remembering the feeling of how skin clashed against skin, how lips almost clashed against lips.</p><p>“That’s pleasing.” Gansey smiled.</p><p>Adam rested his head on the window. “Yeah, it is.” <br/><br/>After that Adam tried to turn the conversation on to Gansey’s night with his girlfriend but Gansey was just as tight-lipped about the mysterious Blue as Ronan had been. All Adam found out was that Blue worked a lot and lived with many family members, so she didn’t seem like the perfect fit for someone as wealthy and well-bred as Gansey but then again, Gansey liked the unique.</p><p>As Adam was getting his bike out from the back of the Pig Gansey pressed something cold into his hands.</p><p>“Oh, I forgot I hadn’t finished this. Would you please bin it for me, Adam?” Gansey asked nonchalantly. “I don’t want it getting warm and disgusting on the drive home.”</p><p>Adam regarded the object suspiciously. It was a bag of blood with just enough of the liquid missing that it couldn’t be called a freshly bought untouched bag. No doubt Gansey had learned of Ronan buying Adam a meal and thought that they could all now feed their poor friend.</p><p>“Gansey,” Adam sighed, he was nursing the bipolar headache of Ronan Lynch and couldn't stomach adding Gansey's charity being forced onto him at the same time.</p><p>“I dislike warm blood, Adam, please bin it for me.” Gansey said in a strong voice as he rushed back into the Pig. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”</p><p>And then Richard Gansey drove off, quite literally not giving Adam the time to say no.</p><p>He placed the blood in the fridge with a slight groan, planning to take it to school tomorrow and make a show of himself feeding so that the boys wouldn’t annoy him so much.</p><p>He pondered getting some homework done but in the end he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus. All he could think about is Ronan and how he pushed Adam away when they had been getting so close. Adam was clearly leaning in to meet Ronan’s lips, more eager than he should be. Either Kavinsky was wrong and Ronan didn’t like Adam as anything more than friends, or Ronan was scared.</p><p>Adam needed to do something to change that, and fast, or else his whole plan would fail.</p><p>He decided to take a page out of Ronan’s book and grabbed his laptop, a CD and a sharpie. He burned a few romantic dumb songs on it, but the songs themselves weren't really important. He dragged his sharpie across the CD and wrote,</p><p>
  <em>‘Songs for a scared little boy.’</em>
</p><p>Now he just has to figure out how to get it to Ronan without anyone noticing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just FYI, Adam's opinion on Mulan is wrong. Mulan is the best Disney movie. I will not take criticism on that at all.<br/>-<br/>Also I know it's ended on a sort of cliffhanger so I'll try give you the next chapter super fast!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Count me in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I started the fic giving my chapters a title and now I can't stop but I also can't think of titles so this is legit titled after the song I'm listening to as I'm doing the editing last touches! Oops.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The more he drank the blood the more he felt sick. It was all in his head of course, his wolf was unbothered by the blood, but it still made him want to throw it up. It was too silky and too cold and worst of all- it wasn’t accompanied by a chunk of meat. The only reason he continued to drink it was because of the smile on Gansey’s face. He was clearly happy to have finally fed his poor starving vampire pet with his very creative plan. Adam hadn’t felt this sick when Ronan had bought him the blood at the café so maybe it wasn’t the blood that was making him ill but the CD burning a hole in his bag.</p><p>Adam looked at Ronan’s open bag many times during lunch. Every time he moved to place the CD in the bag someone would put their attention on him. First it was Tad asking how his night was in a strange tone before being scared off by Ronan, then it was Ronan himself asking why Adam was so jumpy and then it was Noah.</p><p>“Why is your heart beating so fast?”</p><p>Adam pulled his hand back and hid the CD. Third time was in fact not lucky. His heart was beating so fast that Noah’s weak vampire hearing had picked up on it.</p><p>“Are you anxious?” Gansey asked softly.</p><p>Adam was surprised the social king himself had any clue what anxiety looked like. He had already crossed so many of Adam’s personal boundaries without any hesitance, so it was strange that he was now questioning it.</p><p>“A little bit,” Adam admitted. “It’s a bit crowded today.”</p><p>In his old school he constantly felt anxious about the cuts and bruises on his skin and the dirty nature of his clothes but Aglionby gave him the opportunity to blend into the crowd. No one ever questioned him on his second-hand uniform because to put it simply, they didn’t look at him enough to notice. But after becoming friends with Aglionby golden boy Richard Gansey he had been getting a lot more stares. He was being labelled as Gansey’s charity project and there was a lot more interest in him that there had been before. Adam could feel the stares multiply on a daily basis and to make it worse he could always feel the burning stare of Joseph Kavinsky losing his patience.</p><p>Noah turned his chair towards him and gently pressed his leg against Adam's. “I get anxious too sometimes.” The vampire told him. “Just imagine everyone in their underwear.”</p><p>“Isn’t that for public speaking?” Ronan asked.</p><p>“Naked people help everything.” Noah shrugged with a grin.</p><p>With Noah pressed so closely to his right side his left arm was now out of the vampire’s sight due to the curving of the table, he used that to his advantage and quickly dropped the CD into Ronan’s bag, not caring that he noticed Ronan’s eye’s shift towards him.</p><p>Ronan never brought it up, he had given Adam enough gift’s in secrecy that he knew how this worked by now.</p><p>“Speaking of naked people how was your night with Blue?” Ronan said instead.</p><p>“<em>Ronan!</em>” Gansey spluttered. “I told you, that was <em>not</em> the nature of our night.”</p><p>“Sure, sure,” Noah laughed. “We believe you.”</p><p>With the CD now in Ronan’s possession Adam could theoretically calm down, he had done his job and no one except the CD’s new owner had noticed, but his heart continued to attempt escape from his chest for the rest of the day. He didn’t relax until his five hour shift at Boyd’s. With Boyd’s mentoring he had finally fixed the Lexus and instead of getting a wage that week Boyd had given him the car. Apparently the old owner had gotten impatient and bought a new car during his wait, Adam wasn’t sure if that was true or not but he accepted the car with grace. It wasn’t charity, he had spent his wage on it and he had fixed it with his own two hands. It was <em>his.</em></p><p>As he drove home in his new car he had almost forgotten all about the mess his life had become until he saw the vampire leaning on his door.</p><p>“Have you been here long?” Adam asked as he unlocked his door.</p><p>Ronan barged into his home in favour of answering Adam. Due to his sleeveless tank top Adam could see Ronan’s muscles tense violently as he threw something at him. The CD case fell to the floor and shattered with the force.</p><p>“What the fuck is that.” Ronan asked in a low tone of voice that was somehow more threatening than a yell. His body tensed and forcibly relaxed every few seconds as though he was balancing on a line between hostility and tranquillity, too enraged to rest but too apprehensive to spook the abused boy.</p><p>Adam picked up the shattered CD and playfully mused over it. “It’s a bit of a mouthful but I couldn’t think of a better name.” He admitted.</p><p><em>‘Songs for a scared little boy’ </em>wasn’t the punchy name he had wanted and it wasn’t as poetic as the Latin labelled gift Ronan had given him, but it was enough to evoke this kind of reaction and that was all he needed.</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, are you trying to make fun of me?” Ronan asked, moving two steps closer to him.</p><p>“A little bit,” Adam admitted.</p><p>“Fuck you.” Ronan spat. “I’m not scared.”</p><p>“Yes you are. You’re scared of everything, Ronan.”</p><p>Ronan suddenly grabbed his shirt and pushed him into his own door. It wasn’t as violent as Kavinsky’s outbursts but it was passionate and intense and struck fear into Adam. Maybe he miscalculated and made the wrong move. This might not have been the best route to get Ronan to confess his affection.</p><p>“You’re the scared little boy.” Ronan hissed at him, unkindly. “You flinch when anyone moves too fast, you cower away from any loud shout, and you’re too scared to tell people like Tad that you don’t like them in case they punch you.” Adam almost scoffed, no one could be afraid of Tad- a puff of air would blow him away. “Right now you’re probably pissing your pants.” Ronan sneered.</p><p>Adam brought his arm up and used his elbow to forcefully break Ronan’s grip on his shirt. “I’m not scared of you, Lynch.” He told the vampire. “You’re scared of me.”</p><p>Ronan pushed him only once before walking away. “Scared of you? Adam Parrish?” He laughed.</p><p>“Yes,” Adam said. “You’re scared of how you feel towards me.”</p><p>Ronan stopped moving and kept his back towards the werewolf. “Fuck you. You don’t know how I feel.”</p><p>“You’re scared to kiss me.”</p><p>“You think you know everything, Parrish? You think you’re such a smart ass.” Ronan laughed, a horrible empty sort of noise. “Well, surprise, asshole, you’re wrong. I’m not <em>scared</em> to kiss you. Kissing someone who doesn’t want to be kissed isn’t being scared its being a decent person- you prick.”</p><p>Adam couldn’t help but laugh, his was just as horrible of a noise but it was <em>filled</em> with emotion- confusion, anger, sadness and affection, all the emotions he felt towards Ronan.</p><p>“Shut up.” Ronan yelled, turning around to face him. His face was red and his eyes glassy, the look was foreign on his usually strong face.</p><p>“Open your fucking eyes, Lynch.” Adam yelled back. “I <em>wanted</em> you to kiss me.” Adam Parrish was a practiced liar. He told lies so well he believed them himself. He perched on so many lies that were well placed and supported and he seldom struggled with it. “I <em>like </em>you asshole.” He admitted. He told the truth so rarely and so poorly that it sounded like a lie.  </p><p>“Shut up.” Ronan repeated.</p><p>Just like lying Adam was good at getting attacked, and just like telling the truth he seldom was the attacker, but Ronan’s stupidity was increasingly annoying and so Adam charged towards him and pushed him up against the wall, holding him there by his shoulders. “How can you be so <em>stupid?</em> I was leaning in to <em>kiss </em>you yesterday!” He spat.</p><p>His wolf wanted out. It wanted out for two reasons. It wanted to push Ronan further for raising his voice and cornering him. But, mostly, it wanted to push Ronan into being his mate. Wolf’s were creatures of affection and hierarchy and Adam’s wolf was no exception. It <em>wanted</em> Ronan is ways that the boys weren’t ready for and so he pushed hard to keep his wolf in. He prioritised his strength to keep his wolf in and lost his grip on the vampire. Ronan pushed him away, gentler than the last push.</p><p>“Yesterday wasn’t fair.” Ronan snapped. “We were fighting- there were intense emotions because of it.”</p><p>“My feelings about you are always intense.” Adam tried to step closer to the vampire but was pushed back.</p><p>Ronan hissed at him, “Stop saying stuff like that!”</p><p>“I’m just saying what I’m feeling! I like you but maybe you don’t like me- maybe I got it wrong.” Adam had never been so confused in his entire life. Until this moment he always prided himself on being prepared. Even when variables like Kavinsky were thrown at him he knew how to handle it. But nothing in life had ever prepared him for Ronan Lynch and the emotions he could evoke into Adam.</p><p>Ronan scoffed, “As if anyone could not like you Parrish.”</p><p>“What does that mean?” Adam recoiled.</p><p>“You don’t see it?” Ronan laughed at him unkindly. “The way Tad drools when he see’s you, how he cried when I stole his precious seat next to you in-”</p><p>Adam cut the vampire off with a sneer, “Tad does not like me. He just wants to join in on having a poor boy as a friend.”</p><p>“You may be book smart Parrish but when it comes to people you’re dumb as fuck. How can you not notice the way Aglionby’s sparse gay students trip over themselves trying to count every single gorgeous freckle on your face as you pass them?”</p><p>“Shut up, Ronan.” Adam barked. He couldn’t listen to that nonsense anymore. Objectively he knew that he was not unattractive, he was worthy of a crush in one’s mind, but he was not worthy of a <em>following</em>. Maybe if he had paid more attention to Tad he could believe it but what Ronan said about there being more than two people that found him <em>gorgeous-</em> that was an inane lie.</p><p>“Christ, even Kavinsky loves to stare at you.”</p><p>Adam didn’t have the time to laugh at how ironic that comment was. “What about you.” He asked Ronan instead.</p><p>“It took me weeks of torturing myself just to sit next to you in Latin so I could get a closer look.” Ronan mumbled, the aggression in him seemingly melting away. He sat down on Adam’s bed and put his face into his cupped hands. “And it was a pretty damn good look.” He said.</p><p>Adam took a tentative step towards the boy and when he didn’t take his head out of his hands Adam kneeled on the ground in front of him and put a hand on his cheek. Ronan tensed up immediately but didn’t move.</p><p>“You don’t want me, Adam.” He whispered, sounding broken.</p><p>Adam placed his other hand on Ronan’s opposite cheek and softly pulled his head out from his hands. Ronan looked like a caged animal trying to decide between fight and flight. It would have been easy for Adam to make the move but it wouldn’t have been right. This was up to Ronan.</p><p>“Yes, I do.” Adam told the boy. “You’re an asshole, you’re rude and sometimes you hurt me.” Ronan closed his eyes and began to pull away but Adam refused to let him. “But, you’re kind, you give me little present’s and you make me happy in way’s no one ever has.”</p><p>“Adam,” Ronan whispered. And then he moved.</p><p>It was slow at first and then all at once.</p><p>Ronan placed his lips on Adam’s, tentatively, and moved his hand’s to Adam’s hips, slowly lifting him up from the ground and on to his lap. It was awkward at first and the position was completely uncomfortable but after some adjusting Adam felt himself melt into it. It was as though this was what he was made for.</p><p>After a few minutes Ronan slipped his tongue into Adam’s mouth and he couldn’t help but gasp.</p><p>“Sorry,” Ronan broke away from the kiss and gently moved out from under Adam.</p><p>“Don’t apologise.”</p><p>“Did you...is that...” Ronan shook his head. “Was that okay?”</p><p>Adam smiled. “More than okay,”</p><p>Ronan smiled back at him, still unsure.</p><p>Adam placed his lips back onto Ronan’s for a second quick kiss in an attempt to prove his truth and Ronan wasted no time deepening the kiss.</p><p>They kissed like they done everything else, it was a mix of gentle haste and violent fighting. There was no clear lead as both boys fought to be in charge. Adam realised that he didn’t mind giving Ronan the lead as he was pushed down onto his bed, Ronan gripping his hips tightly.</p><p>“Sorry,” Ronan mumbled into his lips before pulling away again.</p><p>“Why are you apologising?” Adam asked, pushing himself into a seating position.</p><p>“Was going a little fast,” Ronan shrugged, his cheeks faintly blushing.</p><p>Adam smirked, “I wasn’t complaining.”</p><p>“I don’t want to push you.” Ronan turned to face him, gazing into his eyes like a lovesick teenager, which he most likely was.</p><p>“What if I wanted to be pushed?”</p><p>“Adam.” Ronan groaned and placed his head into his hands, again. “You’re killing me here, man.”</p><p>Adam chuckled softly before bashing his shoulder against Ronan’s. “Sorry, it’s all these intense <em>fighting </em>emotions.” He told the vampire.</p><p>“People get frisky after fighting that’s what I was trying to tell you.” Ronan said into his hands.</p><p>Adam hit Ronan’s shoulder with his own again, this time with enough strength to make Ronan react. “We fought since we met, Ronan, and yet I didn’t want to kiss you right away.” He said truthfully, remembering the days he would much rather punch Ronan in the face than press his lips on the other boys. “I wanted to kiss you when you gave me little gifts, when you got worried about me, when you told me the truth about why you like to street race.”</p><p>“So, I wooed you?” Ronan asked with his usual smirk.</p><p>“You wooed me.” Adam admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up.</p><p>Ronan began to lean in again when his phone rang. “This is why I hate these fucking things!” He yelled, whipping the device out and slapping it onto his ear. “What is it, Dick? No, I’m not with Kavinsky- I <em>don’t</em> lie you prick!” He snapped at the caller.</p><p>Adam smiled- it was a strange thing knowing a friend so well you can guess what they were saying on the other side of the phone call. Gansey was always worried about Ronan and to an extent he expected the worst off him but begged for the best.</p><p>“I’ll be home soon, <em>Dad</em>.” Ronan growled before slamming his phone on Adam’s bed.</p><p>“You’re leaving?” Adam asked.</p><p>“Yeah sorry, my caretaker doesn’t like when I’m missing for five hours.” Ronan groaned.</p><p>Adam flinched and grabbed the boy’s wrist as he got up from the bed. “You’ve been outside my door for <em>five hours?</em>” He shrieked.</p><p>“I didn’t know how long your shift was.” Ronan shrugged, uncaring.</p><p>Adam pulled Ronan over for one last kiss before either of them was ready for it. He realised that the more he kissed Ronan the more he craved it, the more he wanted to rearrange his life around doing it.</p><p>“As much as I like doing this- and believe me I like it <em>a lot</em>- I need to get back to Monmouth.” Ronan grumbled as he pulled away out of Adam’s grip.</p><p><em>Five hours</em>. For five hour’s Ronan coddled his anger at being called out through a CD. For three hundred minutes Ronan Lynch sat still and unmoving for Adam Parrish.</p><p>“Five hours.” Adam said out loud.</p><p>Ronan regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “Nice to see one ear still works,” He laughed.</p><p>“Nice to see you haven’t gone soft of me.” Adam retorted. And he <em>was</em> glad about it. He didn’t want to be near a Ronan Lynch who wasn’t some type of bastard. A submissive Ronan Lynch was no Ronan Lynch at all.</p><p>“I’m never soft, Parrish.”</p><p>Adam didn’t give himself the time to think of that as a euphemism.</p><p>“Get out of here.” Adam said instead, gently pushing on the vampire’s chest and pretending he didn’t feel the outline of a toned six-pack.</p><p>“Ah, I get it, Parrish, dine and dash is that it?” Ronan smirked, standing still and not allowing him to be pushed. Adam refused to use his werewolf strength in case it went badly but he did wonder if using it would make him strong able to fully outpower the vampire.</p><p>“You know it’s not.” Adam answered with wide eyes, sticking out his bottom lip slightly. Ronan faltered at the sight and Adam was finally able to push him into a stumble. He was always talented at fighting dirty.</p><p>“You prick.” Ronan laughed, catching his balance. “Puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work again.”</p><p>Being half wolf Adam had <em>intense </em>puppy dog eyes and he knew they would always work. In his old school they had been the sole reason no teacher pushed him to reveal the nature of the injuries he sported on the daily. He wasn’t above using them to get what he wanted.</p><p>“Get going before Gansey send’s his swat team to find you.” Adam told the vampire when he stopped moving.</p><p>“Dine and dash,” Ronan shook his head. “Straight out <em>cold</em>.”</p><p>“I never dined and I’m not dashing!” Adam yelled, though he wore a wide grin. “Get out my house.” He finished.</p><p>Ronan smirked and <em>finally</em> moved towards the door. He faltered with his hand on the door knob for a few seconds before turning towards the werewolf. “We’ll talk more soon.” He said with a blush.</p><p>And then he left.</p><p>Almost instantly Adam's smile broke as his brain fought with him. It threw Kavinsky's words at him like they were knives.</p><p><em>Four weeks, </em>Kavinsky had told him. <em>Four weeks, and I want him ruined.</em></p><p>It had only been four <em>days</em> since Kavinsky gave him the time limit along with some injuries to stabilise it. It had only been four days and Adam had already fallen for the lie harder than he had wanted to.</p><p>In twenty four days either Adam or Ronan would be broken into little tiny pieces.</p><p>If Adam was the one to break it would be literally. He would go against Kavinsky and pay the price of his life, either by losing the life he wanted or the life he already had.</p><p>If Ronan was the one to break it would only be emotionally. He would have his heart broken by Adam but the heart would still beat. He would still have Gansey and Noah and his family. Adam would still be alive- though he would be <em>hated.</em></p><p>Adam lay back on his bed with a sigh.</p><p>A life without love was still better than no life at all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll try edit and get the next chapter up a bit quicker this time! <br/>I'm thinking that I'll have about ten more chapters of this fic so maybe a month or two before I finish up! <br/>After the fics done I've got plans for some little oneshots about the anime Haikyuu but eventually I'll come back to the book world and write something for my boys Adam and Ronan or my boys Andrew and Neil from the Foxhole court. So, keep following me if you guys like them too!<br/>Hope you are all happy and safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Daddy Gansey (Ronan POV)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys! Please be gentle with me, I can feel my writing slowly getting worse but I'm trying my best! This is a nice way for me to de-stress since it's not a writing project I'll publish so I'm not going to get upset over chapters like this that are rushed and small. <br/>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan was still riding high on the taste of Adam Parrish when he left the beautiful atheist and the dusty church he called home. He would have expected his head to be full of clouds but it was as clear as a sunny day, he had only one thought circling his brain.<br/><br/><em>Adam kissed me. I kissed Adam. We kissed.</em></p><p>It circled his brain from St Agnes to Monmouth Manufacturing without a single break or change in the rhythm. He was still chanting it to himself as he opened the door to his house but the rhythm was quickly broken by his friend staring up at him from the couch, his small hands furiously grasping a cup of blood.</p><p>“Was I supposed to climb up the drainpipe beside my room window and pretend I’ve been good, Daddy?” Ronan pouted as he threw his keys on the table. “Because we’ve already established, I’m rarely a good boy.”</p><p>Gansey, clearly not in the mood for games, turned his gaze to wall and refused to humor Ronan. “Where were you?”</p><p>“Always <em>where</em> am I, never <em>how</em> am I?” Ronan sighed. He wished Noah would muster up the courage to join them and appreciate Ronan’s jokes but he hated the sight of Gansey when he was in one of his rare ‘Daddy Mood’s’ even more than Ronan did.</p><p>“Where were you, Ronan?” Gansey asked again. When it was apparent he wasn’t going to get his answer without a vigorous pursuit he marched towards his friend, pushing him into a corner. “Because you said you were going to see your brothers but when I called-”</p><p>“You called my brother?” Ronan snapped, pointing a finger towards Gansey’s chest and pushing him back.</p><p>“Yes, yes I did.” Gansey nodded strongly. “And I won’t apologize for it. Not after what happened two months ago!”</p><p>“Aw, Jesus, Gansey let it go.” Ronan rubbed at his eyes vigorously, disappointed that when he opened them again his friend was still in front of him like an angry yacht club member whose boat size was insulted. “It was an accident.” Ronan told him with a groan. Technically it wasn’t a lie because the thing itself was something Ronan had done without thinking and immediately regretted- ergo, it was an accident.</p><p>“People don’t just <em>accidentally</em> slit their wrists, Ronan.” Gansey hissed.</p><p>Ronan flinched, so used to the accident only being referred to by use of pseudonyms, and then let out a low whistle. “Don’t hold back, Dick.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, but you have to understand why I’m upset about you going missing for <em>five</em> hours.” Gansey pleaded, like a dog holding tightly onto a bone. When Gansey got into ‘Daddy Mood’ nothing could stop him from getting the answers he desired and the apology he craved.</p><p>“I didn’t hurt myself, Dick.” Ronan told him.</p><p>“But where were you?” He asked, then a thought seemed to cross his mind and he opened his mouth again. “And yes, you raised a fine point, so I’ll also ask- <em>how </em>are you?”</p><p>Ronan sighed. He could evade the truth easily by telling Gansey he was at Adam’s shitty apartment, Gansey would be too heartbroken about his lost invitation to pry any further, but if he didn’t tell someone about the kiss it would continue circling his brain until he was consumed by it.</p><p>“I was with Adam.” He started, loving how the boys name felt on his tongue so soon after it had danced with his. “We kissed, and I feel <em>great</em>.”</p><p>It was Gansey’s turn to falter after that comment. He took a step back and looked Ronan up and down as though he could see the hand prints Adam had left upon him. “I wasn’t aware Adam was gay.” He eventually said.</p><p>Ronan scoffed, “That’s all you have to say? Come on, dude, I’m pouring my heart out to you here.”</p><p>“I’d hardly call <em>that</em> pouring your heart out, Ronan.” Gansey rolled his eyes. He moved towards the couch and gestured with his shoulder that Ronan should follow him. They sat down on opposite sides with an awkward space and atmosphere in-between them. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”</p><p>“Y’know just cause he kissed me doesn’t mean he’s gay.” Ronan shrugged. Though he himself was unsure of Adam’s sexuality he didn’t think it was fair for <em>Gansey</em> to label him. “Some of the youth’s like a bit of both, Daddy.”<br/><br/>“Stop calling me Daddy.”</p><p>“Then stop acting like one.” Ronan laughed, he put his feet up on the table despite the looks from his friend. “All you need to know is we kissed, and...we’ll probably do it again.” He felt giddy admitting it, refusing to let himself feel disgusted by his eagerness. For so long Adam Parrish was simply the work of art Ronan daydreamed about but now the art had come alive and Ronan was allowed to look at it from different angles.</p><p>“You need to be careful, Ronan.”</p><p>Ronan turned his head to look at Gansey, the tone of his voice was far too deadly for a conversation that should have been happy, and was met with serious pointed eyes.</p><p>“Are you going to give me the safe sex talk?” Ronan asked with a gag.</p><p>Gansey didn’t laugh. “Be careful around him. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He said.</p><p>“You practically hump the guy’s leg every time you see him but you think I need to be <em>careful?</em>” Ronan asked incredulously. He hadn’t expected Gansey to throw them a pride parade but he expected approval at the very least.</p><p>“I like Adam and I want him to be happy <em>with </em>us- but there’s something about him that’s...broken.”<br/><br/>“Like me?” Ronan countered.</p><p>“Maybe,” Gansey admitted with a reserved shrug. “I’m just scared for you both. Two broken pieces can create a rather large wound.”</p><p>“Or they can fit together.” Ronan said, aware how tacky it sounded. He had never been the romantic type pre-Adam. Gansey and Noah cried over their romantic chick flicks whilst Ronan cried over the time he wouldn’t get back from watching them but as soon as he gave Adam that first gift he knew that he wanted to give him the whole world. Both boys had some demons to fight and neither could slay the others, they had to do the actual slaying on their own, but they could patch each other up after the fight.</p><p>“I suppose that is a very poetic way of thinking about it.” Gansey said, the warning of a smile dancing on his lips. “I just need you to tell me you’ll be careful with each other. You already fight so much without adding romance into it.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be careful old man, don’t worry.” Ronan groaned. The noise alerted Chainsaw who swooped out of the crack in his door he always left so she could have free range of the house and perched on his shoulder. He dragged a finger across the space between her eyes and remembered the day he found her. It had been the week after the accident, when he was finally allowed to take a walk without bodyguards. She had been bald and dainty, crying for help at the foot of a tree. He took her in and cared for her until she was ready to take flight but when the time came she simply flew around Monmouth and when they placed her outside she flew back in through the window, refusing to leave. The raven meant so much more to him than a simple pet, she was an example of his strength, he found her in a bad time and she stayed for the good times.</p><p>“I know you’ll be careful.” Gansey told him, finally breaking out a smile. He crossed his legs into a basket and turned his body around to face his friend. “Now, tell me <em>everything.</em>”</p><p>“No,” Ronan let out an elongated groan. “We’re not gossiping like teenage girls at a sleepover.”</p><p>“You know you want to.” Gansey sang with a wink.</p><p>“Fine,” Ronan gave in easily, he wanted to tell someone about the mystery of Adam Parrish. “I liked Parrish but I didn’t think he liked me. I gave him some hand cream and a mix-tape-”</p><p>“Oh, <em>Ronan, </em>that is so sweet!”</p><p>“The mix-tape was called ‘Parrish’s cry-baby songs’.”</p><p>“<em>Ronan!”</em></p><p>“And then he gave <em>me</em> a mix-tape. It was called ‘Songs for a scared little boy’ because he’s an asshole who thought I was too scared to kiss him- proved him wrong.” Ronan finished with a rushed breath. He knew it wouldn't be the inspiration for any movies. Their story was strange and quick and personal. It couldn't be easily understood by others.</p><p>“Oh, well, that’s something.” Gansey mused with raised eyebrows.</p><p>“You can’t judge. You got your girlfriend by calling her a prostitute.”</p><p> “That’s not what happened!” Gansey gasped, despite the fact that was <em>exactly</em> what had happened. “But, speaking of Blue, why don’t we all go to Nino’s tomorrow and finally introduce her to Adam!”</p><p>“I’d like to actually have a first date with him before we get into this double date and Noah scenario.” Ronan scoffed. He could hear Noah’s distaste of the comment from his bedroom, still refusing to come out, unsure if Gansey was fully done with his mood.</p><p>“Of course, that makes sense.” Gansey nodded. He placed his hand on Ronan’s knee and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry I freaked out. I can see that this is a good thing now. I was just worried.” He admitted sheepishly.</p><p>Ronan shook his knee. “You were in a ‘Daddy Mood’”</p><p>“I wish you and Noah would stop saying things like that.” Gansey pouted, retracting his hand.</p><p>“Speaking of,” Ronan said. “Czerny, I know you’re listening, he’s done with his mood come on out.”</p><p>Gansey’s pout grew larger as the small vampire hastily opened his door to join them. “You said you went to the skate park an hour ago!”</p><p>“I lied.” Noah shrugged. “You were annoying me.”</p><p>Ronan wasn’t sure just how larger Gansey’s pout could get but he didn’t want to find out. “Stop making Daddy mad, Noah.” He whispered, punching him gently in the shoulder.</p><p>Gansey yelled, “I’m not your Daddy!”</p><p>“You made Daddy disown us.” Noah told Ronan with a dramatic sigh.</p><p>“Anyway!” Gansey yelled, slapping his hands together in a motion he probably wanted to do to his friends’ heads. “What about Thursday for Adam and Blue’s first introduction?”</p><p>Noah groaned, “I need a girlfriend.”</p><p>“He’s got Boyd’s until 7 but he’ll probably be down for after his shift.” Ronan shrugged, completely ignoring Noah’s sorrow. </p><p>“Look at you, knowing your boyfriends work schedule.” Gansey teased, the hesitance about his friends getting together apparently now reduced enough to accommodate childish teasing.</p><p>“Look at <em>us, </em>dating middle class citizens.” He teased back, deciding not to mention the fact Adam wasn’t actually his boyfriend. He jabbed the side of his hand into Gansey’s side with a smirk. “At least my middle class citizen is a vampire.” He said, sticking his tongue out. </p><p>“Leave Blue alone,” Noah said, quick to the defense of his friend “She’s nice and warm and her fur is pretty.”</p><p>“She’s an overgrown dog.” Ronan rolled his eyes. He was strangely fond of Blue but she was an easy target and it was simply tradition for vampires and werewolves to engage in taunting- even if he had more reason than most to accept werewolves. “Well, maybe not <em>overgrown</em>, she’s small even in wolf form.”</p><p>“<em>Ronan,</em>” Gansey warned. “I don’t understand how you can be so horrible to werewolves given you’re situation.”</p><p>Ronan laughed, “My <em>situation</em> is the reason I can be so horrible and get away with it.”</p><p>“I think Adam and Blue will like each other. They’re quite similar.” Noah decided, either through reasoning or simply to piss off Ronan.</p><p>“Oh, come on, don’t say that, <em>please.</em>” Ronan gagged. The idea that he was so attracted to the male version of <em>Blue Sargent </em>disgusted him in so many ways. He could appreciate the fact she didn’t care too much about her appearance, and he liked the way she could command attention in a room full of rich Aglionby boys- but she was still <em>Blue.</em></p><p>“I think you’re right, Noah.” Gansey nodded, no doubt ecstatic at the comparison of his two wet dreams.</p><p>“I’ve had enough of this.” Ronan stood up and regarded his two friends with distaste. “You’re both wrong and annoying.” He hissed as he walked towards his room.</p><p>“Enjoy dreaming of Adam!” Noah yelled before erupting into giggles with Gansey.</p><p>Ronan slammed his door as soon as Chainsaw had joined him and got into bed. If he dreamed of bright blue eyes and a constellation of freckles, then that was his business.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here comes Blue! Also, what is Ronan’s werewolf situation you might ask? Let’s find out next time :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Barns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan had barely looked at him during Latin. Adam was scared that the vampire was going to gloss over the night before or simply pretend it didn’t happen. It wouldn’t have surprised him- Ronan Lynch didn’t have the most beneficial coping habits and if the new romance was as frightening to him as it was to Adam he was bound to find comfort in negative ways. It was also possible that Ronan had gone home and told Gansey everything and was met with disapproval. Gansey appeared kind and forgiving, of course, but Adam made a habit out of assuming the worst out of everyone. It helped him in never being surprised by cruelty although it kept him bitter.</p><p>When the bell rang for the break Ronan tugged on the frayed hem of Adam’s school blazer to pull him back into his seat. He fell down with a thud and assessed the other boy with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>Ronan turned to him nervously and said, “Can we go a walk? I need to talk to you.”</p><p>Adam used silence and a nod in favor of speaking but Ronan understood.</p><p>They weren’t supposed to leave the school grounds during break but Ronan was allergic to rules and Adam didn’t expect to get caught so they hastily walked a few minutes away from Aglionby before Ronan deemed a rickety old bench worthy of their talking point.</p><p>“Is everything okay?” Adam asked as he faced Ronan. He wasn’t too worried about his job. Now that they both knew there was an attraction emotions such as fear and apprehension weren’t large enough hurdles that Adam couldn’t jump them. He was simply concerned about Ronan’s well-being for the moment, he hadn’t broken the boy’s heart yet and so he still had a duty to comfort him.</p><p> “I had to tell Gansey what happened last night. It was either tell him or have an intervention.” Ronan admitted. He fiddled with the bench in an anxious manor, pulling chunks of wood out and pressing them lightly against his skin.</p><p>Adam grabbed the wood out of his hands before he could do any damage and threw it onto the grass. “How’d he take it?” He asked as he took Ronan’s fidgeting hands in his. It was supposed to be a romantic and encouraging move but he felt Ronan tremble with the contact.</p><p>“You mean how did he take two of his favorite people hooking up?” Ronan laughed. Adam felt a little surge in his heart at the idea he was something of a favorite to Richard Gansey. “He almost wet his pants. Don’t be surprised if he cries and hugs you at lunch.”</p><p>“Is this why we went a walk? Keeping me safely away from Gansey?” Adam asked suspiciously. An emotional socialite was hardly grounds for an out of school heart-to-heart.</p><p>“Honestly I don’t think anyone can keep Gansey away from you.” Ronan snorted. His hands that had been shaky before suddenly clutched onto Adam’s as he swung his body round to face him better. “He wants us to go to Nino’s on Thursday after your shift so you can finally meet Blue.”</p><p>“I’d like that.” Adam said without hesitance.</p><p>Ronan rolled his eyes before he spoke. “Ten year old bed-wetters have first dates in pizza places with friends. And I don’t know about you Parrish but I’m neither 10 nor a bed-wetter.”</p><p>Adam was caught off guard and let out a horrible bark of a laugh. “Well, that’s a relief, Lynch.”</p><p>“Yeah so, do you want to go somewhere with me after school.” Ronan mumbled, suddenly finding the aging wood and articulate markings of the bench more interesting than Adam.</p><p>“Are you asking me on a first date?” Adam asked with a small smirk. It was both comical and endearing, the way Ronan seemed nervous to ask Adam out, considering they had already engaged in a vigorous make out session the night before. It furthered his pitch that Ronan, a boy who threw poison at the world before it had the chance to throw it at him, was hardly as unfix-able and malicious as one would immediately deem him.</p><p>“No Parrish, I’m competing in a treasure hunt and need some help.” Ronan sneered, pulling his hands back out of Adam’s reach.</p><p>“A treasure hunt?” Adam mused. “What do I get if I win?”</p><p>“Fuck you.” Ronan groaned. He raised the ragged leather bands he regularly sported to his mouth and began chewing on them.</p><p>Adam took the boys wrist and pushed it down to his leg, out of his mouths reach. “Come on, Lynch. Ask me.”</p><p>“Fine, only if you stop being an asshole.” Ronan warned. When Adam promised no such thing he continued anyway. “Will you go on a date with me? Tonight.”</p><p>Adam didn’t waste time with a witty answer, scared it would make the vampire more tense and grouchy. “Yes.”</p><p>Ronan let a soft smile dance on his lips for a moment before it turned in to his usual smirk. “Good because I’m not having our first date in a shitty pizza place where Gansey can cry and drool over our beguiling homosexual love.”</p><p>“Beguiling?” Adam questioned with a raised brow.</p><p>“I’ll pick you up after school since you drove here in your shitbox.” Ronan told him.</p><p>Adam took immediate offense on behalf of his car, even though he knew Ronan’s hatred lay not with the car but the fact he could no longer drive Adam around using the dangers of late night bicycle riding. “My car is just fine, you snob.” He hissed.</p><p>“It’s a shitbox.”</p><p>Adam retorted, “<em>You’re</em> a shitbox.”</p><p>“Oh, sick burn.” Said Ronan sarcastically, giving Adam two thumbs up. “I can’t tell you where we’re going yet. Either because I want it to be a surprise, or it might be illegal. We can find out later.”</p><p>Adam recoiled, slightly terrified. But even if the date ended up with them in handcuffs it would still be better than anything Adam could plan. He didn’t consider himself romantic, most of his flirting had been simply mirroring the way Ronan treated him, and he hadn’t ever been on a real date. If he was left to plan a date he would have recreated one from a cringe movie- one with the pretty blonde girl and the footballer who looked weirdly similar to her- and the night would end with Ronan losing interest and running off to get his heart broken by Kavinsky’s next victim.</p><p>“We need to get back to school.” Adam decided after they had stared at each other for long enough.</p><p>Ronan took Adam’s hands and gently pulled him up from the bench. When they got to the Aglionby gates Adam expected Ronan to drop his hand but he grasped it even tighter, daring the students to look, holding Adam as though he was some sort of prize. Sparse students even noticed the two boys’ hands and those that noticed didn’t react any further than a raised brow and a quick whisper to their neighbor. Ronan walked Adam to his math class and dropped his hand only when they reached the door. He walked away without a word, in a direction that was <em>not</em> his next class but Adam didn’t have the heart to criticize him in that moment.</p><p>It was hard to get through a day when all you wanted was for it to be night. Each tick of the clock brought him closer to his first date -one that could be illegal- and each patch of silence created by the hard working students taunted his heart to beat louder. </p><p>Driving home he felt the first temptation to creep past the speed limit. He was in no means a slob, he worked hard to get his Aglionby uniform and took great care in looking like he fit in it, but he knew he could benefit running a comb through his hair and taking his time in choosing what to wear. All of his clothes fit in the four small drawers beside his bed and even though the majority of them were second hand some could be quite fitting and attractive on him. In the end he settled on a simple black t-shirt and blue jeans that were tattered with age and mimicked those old looking jeans idiots bought.</p><p>He opened the door for Ronan and his eyes took in the sight with pleasure. The usual tank top was replaced by a dark green top with sleeves and his black jeans were ripped in all the right places.</p><p>“Time to break the law.” Ronan grinned.</p><p>Adam locked the door behind him, the action was futile considering if someone wanted to break into his shitty apartment so badly all they had to do was give the door a small kick. “So, it <em>is</em> an illegal date then?” He asked as he got into the BMW.</p><p>“I’ll explain when we get there.” Ronan promised as he started up the car.</p><p>The place in question turned out to be a large but simplistic barn in the middle of nowhere. If Adam wasn’t as sure about his worth to Ronan he would have thought this to be the day he was murdered by a vampire.</p><p>Ronan opened the door for him before he could get a chance and took him by the hand, guiding him to the front of the barn. Adam caught a glimpse of black and white blobs in the field and could smell the burning stench of horse pee. The scent of the place was overwhelmingly disgusting to him but the look of Ronan’s face told him this was the vampires safe haven. </p><p>“How is this illegal?” Adam asked as Ronan took out a set of keys and opened the doors of the small cottage beside the fields.</p><p>“This is where I grew up. When my Dad died his will stated that I wasn’t allowed to <em>live</em> at the barns until I turn 18. But there’s technically nothing stating I can’t visit every now and again.” Ronan said as he directed Adam into a kitchen. The inside was modest and nothing like what Adam expected Ronan to grow up in. There was an essence of <em>family </em>despite no family living there. When he looked at the stove near a round wooden dining table he could imagine a younger Ronan sitting there and watching his Father cook pancakes for the family on a Sunday morning. </p><p>Adam dragged his hands along the kitchen counter, the wood looked expensive and untouched, and he noticed that though it looked modest there were many aristocratic features mixing with mundane objects. The sleek professional coffee maker was paired with chipped mugs with funny slogans on them. The walls needed a new lick of paint but you hardly noticed that when the enchanting paintings were so large and vibrant. In a way the barns resembled the two boys. If you pair something meager with something extravagant, you can get something that fits in both worlds.</p><p>“We have a team of farmers and cleaners to keep things running but I asked them to take the night off.” Ronan admitted as he began pulling things out of the fridge. “The jambalaya will take about an hour to cook so we can do the feeds when it’s cooking.”</p><p>“Feeds?”</p><p>“Yes Parrish, feeds. I don’t want my animals starving just because you want me all to yourself.” Ronan told him. He took out a big put from an overhand drawer and started to throw things into it.</p><p>“And why are <em>we</em> eating?” Adam asked with a confused smile. This wasn’t the vampire gang nibbling on a slice of pizza because it was fun and warm, this was Ronan cooking his date a full meal when for all he knew Adam had no need for food.</p><p>“It’s first date etiquette, Parrish. I’ll shove some blood in it for nutrients too.” Ronan mumbled as he focused on cutting up vegetables. Adam regretted bringing it up and hoped the blood wouldn’t be noticeable. “My Mom made it for us a lot. I’m used to shoving food down so she wouldn’t feel weird about being the only one eating.”</p><p>Adam stopped fiddling around with the fruit bowl that was changing color when he touched it. “Wait, what?” He spluttered. “Is your Mom human?”</p><p>Ronan faltered just as he was bringing the knife down on a pepper. “Did I <em>say</em> that?” Ronan asked snappily.</p><p>“You made it sound like she’s dependent on food.” Adam pressed.</p><p>“Yeah, I did say that.”</p><p>“So either she’s human or...”</p><p>“A werewolf, bingo.” Ronan sang sarcastically, bringing the knife down sharply.</p><p>The wheels in Adam’s head were spinning, trying to figure out the science of it all. He’d heard of the stories, vampires and werewolves breaking social norms to be together, but he hadn’t stopped to think of the children they could spawn. Ronan’s scent and behavior was 100% vampire, it didn’t make sense that he could have a wolf parent.</p><p>“So you’re...”</p><p>“Still a vampire, don’t worry I don’t turn in to a big smelly dog.” Ronan told him, turning to face him finally. He looked scared, sporting the same look on his face Adam wore when he was knew he would be judged on his parentage. “The doctors had a field day with us. We went through all kinds of tests to prove that Declan and me were 100% vampire. Matthew’s tests are inconclusive, he even looks more like her, but he’s still dependent on blood so we think that’s a good sign.” He shrugged.</p><p>“Oh,” Adam mused, unable to come up with up with anything else.</p><p>If Ronan was raised by a werewolf it was a safe bet that he had no prejudice against them. In a better world where Kavinsky didn’t exist and Aglionby was a joint species school Ronan would still have perused Adam and Adam would have loved it.</p><p>“If you’ve got an issue with it just tell me.” Ronan grumbled.</p><p>“Why would I have an issue?”</p><p>Ronan laughed, “Werewolves are dumb, poor and stink.”</p><p>Adam faltered slightly and tried to control his facial expression. Part of him knew that Ronan was just echoing what others have said and not voicing his own opinion but it still struck him. “I’ve never really socialized with werewolves. Plus, you said it yourself you’re 100% vampire.” He said through gritted teeth. Ronan continued to stare at Adam, as though stripping him down to look for his lies, though he would never be able to find them. “I’m not bothered by it, Ronan.” He added.</p><p>“My grandparents were.” Ronan mumbled. “Threw my Mom out of the pack when Declan was born. She got weak after that and when my Dad died she got worse. Stopped talking, then she stopped moving. Eventually she had to go a psych ward, she’s getting better but she’ll never be the same.”</p><p>Adam put his hand on Ronan’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. He had focused so much on how his Father’s death had affected the vampire he had never stopped to wonder what his Mother had done to him. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”</p><p>“Werewolves are weak.” Ronan looked into his eyes so intently that Adam almost thought the words were directed at him. “My grandparents are weak. Thinking that they’re better than us.”</p><p>“Your Mom’s not weak though.”</p><p>“Damn right, all Lynch’s are kickass- except Declan.” Ronan threw some more food into the pot along with rice and placed the lid on carefully before picking up a statue of a cat and turning its head right around. “My Dad liked to make weird things. It’ll start screaming when it’s been an hour.” Ronan shrugged when Adam looked at it peculiarly.</p><p>Ronan dragged him outside to feed the chickens first. It was a horrifying experience for Adam, especially after Ronan admitted the chicken they were eating for dinner was <em>fresh</em>. The animals could sense the Adam predatory nature and ran away from him the moment he stepped into the pen.</p><p>He didn’t fare any better with the horses.</p><p>Ronan wanted to brush their strange hair as they were feeding and prompted Adam to do the same on the smallest horse. Adam refused straight away and backed up a few paces when the horse made a loud nose.</p><p>“Why are you so scared?” Ronan laughed. “They’re just big dogs.”</p><p>“With big teeth,” Adam grunted.</p><p>“My horses don’t bite.” Ronan told him with an offended pout. He called all the barn animals <em>his</em>. It was increasingly attractive seeing the soft animal loving side of Ronan Lynch and Adam worried that his aversion to animals was increasingly <em>unattractive</em> to the vampire farmer.</p><p>“I’ve just never seen them up close, it’s <em>daunting.</em>” Adam admitted.</p><p>Ronan gestured for Adam to come closer to him and the large horse he was brushing. The horse was happily munching on a smelly mix of food and didn’t seem to care when Adam joined them. She was taller than Adam and could destroy him in both his human and wolf form by using her large heavy feet to smash his head.</p><p>“This is Montana- as in Hannah Montana.” Ronan told him. Adam wanted to laugh but was scared the horse would kill him for the startling noise. “She’s Matthews’s horse and she’s just as nice and angelic as he is.” </p><p>“Angelic,” Adam whispered in disbelief.</p><p>“Yes, angelic.” Ronan repeated. He grabbed the wrist of Adam’s hand and pulled it towards the feeding giant. “She likes to be stroked on her neck. Right...here!” Ronan placed Adam’s hand on the horse’s neck and dragged it side to side before letting go.</p><p>Montana didn’t try to kill him immediately but he still kept himself on his toes, ready to sprint. He stroked his hand up and down her neck but whipped it back when she lifted her head out of her feeding bucket to look at him.</p><p>“Stop crying Parrish, she likes you.” Ronan laughed, giving the horse a gentle slap to her behind.</p><p>Adam reached out and touched her neck one last time to show Ronan he wasn’t going to cry. “She’s not <em>so</em> scary.” He lied.</p><p>The cows were next but they weren’t <em>normal</em> cows. Some normal black and white ones roamed a little further away but the cow that ran towards the feeding bucket first was larger and fluffier than normal cows. The word that fit it best was <em>beast.</em></p><p>“You know what cows are right?” Ronan asked when he noticed the confused look on Adam’s face.</p><p>“They’re the ones that go quack right?”</p><p>“I knew you weren’t as smart as you act.” Ronan shook his head.</p><p>“Shut up I know what cows are! That one’s just massive and weird.” He snapped in his defense.</p><p>“Don’t listen to him Aslan, you’re handsome!” Ronan cupped his hands and yelled at the cow. The animal didn’t react in favor of stuffing its face.</p><p>They watched Aslan hog the food for another few minutes before they were distracted by a screeching noise alerting them dinner was ready. Ronan plated the food up and placed the scratched up bowl on top of a crystal place mat. It smelled <em>amazing.</em></p><p>“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.” Ronan told him as he put a large amount onto his plate. “I know it can go straight through some vampires.” He shrugged.</p><p>“Wow that really sets the romantic mood.” Adam laughed. He matched the portion size that Ronan took and began eating. It wasn’t anything spectacular but it was comforting and warm and much better than anything he's ate in a long time. “I didn’t know you could cook.” He said.</p><p>“It’s mean, rice, veg and spices. An idiot could make it.” Ronan grumbled, stuffing more into his mouth.</p><p>“And an idiot did.” Adam smirked.</p><p>“Wow that really sets the romantic mood.” Ronan mocked in a shrill voice.</p><p>Adam started an unimportant conversation on school work, unsure on what they were supposed to talk about, but Ronan only gave him one word answers and shoveled food into his mouth instead of bettering the conversation. He tried to move the topic onto their plans for after school when Ronan interrupted him with determined eyes.</p><p>“I don’t do things halfway.” He said loudly.</p><p>“Okay?” Adam raised an eyebrow at the vampire’s outburst.</p><p>Ronan continued, “So, if you really want to be with me you have to do it properly.”</p><p>“Do you want a promise ring, Lynch?”</p><p>“I’m not kidding, Adam.” Ronan snapped as dropped his fork onto the plate, creating a noisy ring.</p><p>Adam placed his own utensils down and laid his hands on the table, upright and inviting Ronan when he was ready. “I know. I’m sorry.” He sighed. In the Kavinsky free world he dreamed of this would be the moment everything in his life fell together and became perfect, but this wasn’t that world. “I feel the same.” He felt like he was choking on the words. As though every lie he ever told had been lying in his stomach and was now climbing up his throat.</p><p>Adam’s conflicted inner monologue clearly wasn’t showing up on his face because Ronan smiled and rested his hands on top of Adam’s.</p><p>“Okay, good.” Ronan said. "So, we're boyfriends now." He smirked.</p><p>
  <em>He wanted to tell the truth. </em>
</p><p>After their dinner Ronan drove Adam home and introduced him to a horrible song called the ‘Murder Squash song’. If he had listened to the CD Ronan made him he would have found an hour of the awful song. He would have to destroy the devil CD when got home, it lay safely out of sight under his pillow right beside the knife Kavinsky plunged into his leg.</p><p>
  <em>He couldn’t tell the truth.</em>
</p><p>“Are you coming in?” Adam asked as the car stopped outside the church.</p><p>“Parrish,” Ronan clutched at his heart. “I’m a gentleman. I’ll walk you to your door, kiss you goodnight and then I will go home." The words were spoken in a humorous tone but it was easy to hear he meant every word. Ronan <em>was</em> a gentleman.<br/>
<br/>
Ronan have him a soft and sweet kiss in front of his door and as promises left him to go home. Adam put off brushing his teeth for so long because he could smell the vampires scent on his lips and knew the minty toothpaste would ruin it.</p><p>When he went to bed his put his hands behind his head and felt the objects; the CD of the horrible music on his left and the knife with the faint smell of his blood on his right. He envisioned them as his options.</p><p>The knife was Kavinsky. Adam spent time with Ronan every chance he could because he was working up to breaking him into pieces and delivering him to Kavinsky. </p><p>The CD was Ronan. Adam spent time with Ronan every chance he could because he was falling for his cheeky but loving nature. </p><p>He was becoming increasingly aware of the fact he wasn't completely sure which option he was working towards anymore. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here's the explanation on why Ronan isn't prejudice against werewolves. <br/>I've planned out the majority of the fic but I threw this in out of nowhere because it made sense to me that Matthew and Aurora would be a little different considering in the book they are dreams. If there's any plot holes I've made because i've done this let me know and i'll edit it out but I just really wanted Matthew and Aurora to be mixed species. <br/>Blue will be in the next chapter ;)<br/>-<br/>I've been writing a lot faster lately because I'm going back to work next week and finally getting out of the house! It's gotten me excited even though I have really bad anxiety and will not enjoy working with the public :P<br/>Hope every is safe and well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Here comes Blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Half an hour before Adam finished his shift on Thursday night he heard the screech of tires followed by loud obnoxious music. One of the other mechanics, Laura, went into a tangent about ‘nauseating teenagers’ who thought they owned the world and could disrespect it how they see fit. She spared him a glance to let him know she didn’t put him in the same boat as whoever was outside disrupting them and Adam didn’t have the heart to tell her the driver would most likely be his boyfriend. <br/><br/>Sure enough when Adam walked out of Boyd’s, rushing so that Laura couldn’t see the scene and change her opinion of him, he found Ronan lying on the hood of his sleek car. <br/><br/>“We could hear this shit from inside.” Adam hissed at him, hastily entering the car without so much as a hello. Ronan, still sprawled on the car, gave him a lazy smirk and used his phone to make the music even louder. With a low growl Adam fiddled on the dashboard to turn the Bluetooth off. <br/><br/>“Embarrassed of me, Parrish?” Ronan asked as he got into the car. <br/><br/>Adam sent him a mock glare, lifting the side of his mouth to show he was only joking. “Yes.”<br/><br/>“Bitch,” Ronan snapped, with no real heat. <br/><br/>“Come on, let’s get going.” Adam sighed as he threw his backpack with his overalls into the back seat hoping the grease and oil wouldn’t seep through and stain the car.<br/><br/>“Can I have my kiss first?”<br/><br/>Adam turned to face the vampire, slightly taken aback by the softness of his voice. Ronan smirked at him but it was clear he was waiting for it and so Adam reached forward and gave him a quick peck. “There, now let’s go.”<br/><br/>“You make my heart swoon.” Ronan sang sarcastically as he turned his music back up.<br/><br/>“I try.” Adam smirked. He heard Ronan sending him a weak hiss before the car started. “Anyway, tell me about Blue.” <br/><br/>“You’re about to meet her, one look at her tells you everything you need to know don’t worry.” Ronan said with hint of secrecy in his voice that was always there when Adam asked about Gansey’s girlfriend. He knew it was pointless to ponder about her since he would be indeed meeting her momentarily, but he didn’t like going in blind. He found it easier to talk to someone if you knew little details about them and it unnerved him that all he knew about Blue was she was Gansey’s girlfriend and had a frenemy sort of relationship with Ronan. <br/><br/>Adam had been to Nino’s a couple times when he was younger but when he moved into St Agnes he prioritized spending money on heat and water instead of tasty pizza. It hadn’t changed much in the years he missed, meaning it was still stinking of grease and full of loud children and even louder teenagers. <br/><br/>“Hello, lovebirds!” Noah hollered at them as soon as they entered the restaurant. <br/><br/>“I hate you.” Ronan told his friend as they maneuvered into the booth.<br/><br/>“How was work?” Gansey asked him with a small smile.<br/><br/>Adam hadn’t spoken to Gansey much in the last couple days. He retreated to the library at breaks with the excuse of Ronan never giving him time to do his homework but the real reason was Gansey made him feel <em>awkward.</em> The sparse times Adam had spoken to Gansey in the two days the other boy would speak to him causally but couldn’t control his eyes as they focused on Adam and Ronan’s joint hands. Adam couldn’t tell if it was disapproval or just awareness.<br/><br/>“It was fine.” Adam smiled back. <br/><br/>“What are you doing, freak?” Ronan grunted towards Noah. <br/><br/>Noah continued to use his two fingers to make cutting motions. “I’m cutting the tension in this booth.” He smirked.<br/><br/>“There isn’t tension!” Gansey spluttered immediately. <br/><br/>Adam didn’t waste his breath. All four of them felt the strange atmosphere created by Adam. The irony in the situation was Adam wasn’t finished creating tension, in a couple weeks he’ll create enough tension that not even Noah can make a joke out of it. <br/><br/>“Let’s get this out of the way.” Ronan sighed. He raised his arm and extended it over Adam’s shoulder. “Parrish and I are boyfriends. Gansey is happy for us but also scared for us. Noah is a loser. There. Tension gone.” He established with a small shrug of his shoulders. <br/><br/>Noah turned his imaginary scissors on to Ronan. “Rude.” He cried, going in for the kill shot to Ronan’s neck. Ronan batted him away easily.<br/><br/>“There’s nothing to be scared of.” Adam lied.<br/><br/>Gansey smiled at him. The smile was less awkward than before but Adam’s lie hadn’t convinced him enough, he was still tense. “I <em>am</em> happy for you both.” He said. <br/><br/>“Noah <em>is</em> a loser.” Ronan nodded with a grin. Then he got serious. He gave Adam’s shoulder a quick squeeze and then set his weighty gaze towards Gansey. “Are we good, man?” He asked.</p><p>Gansey placed both his hands out towards them in closed fists. Ronan bumped fists with him first and then Adam joined in. “We’re more than good.” He told his friends.</p><p>Adam was about to ask Gansey some questions about their world history project when he noticed a small angry waitress storming over towards them with purpose. The girl had dark hair, some of it was pinned onto her head but the majority of it flew around as she marched towards their booth, despite the clear rage on her face Adam thought she looked sort of cute. As she got closer and entered his air space he was hit with animalistic scent of a werewolf. It made sense, only poor kids needed jobs at this age and werewolves were as poor as they came.</p><p>“Here comes trouble,” Ronan grunted. He waved Adam off when he turned to question his statement.</p><p>“Oh, there’s Jane!” Gansey said excitedly. He wiggled his body over just as the waitress, Jane, crashed into their booth.</p><p>The girl turned to Gansey just as her eyes turned silver and her teeth elongated. “I’m sick of this job, <em>sick of it!”</em> She snapped, letting a lengthy growl out of her chest. “Some guy put his hand on my ass and so I told him to go to hell, and you know what my boss said?”</p><p>“Did he throw the man out?” Gansey asked, placing a hand on the waitresses head and smoothing her hair.</p><p>Adam turned towards Ronan and raised his hands, hoping for some explanation as to Gansey’s closeness with the waitress.</p><p>“No! No he didn’t!” The waitress yelled. Adam was half-scared she was going to shift into a wolf in the middle of Nino’s. “He told me I had to <em>apologize</em> to the man for being rude!”</p><p>“Well, Blue, did you apologize to the poor man?” Ronan smirked. “He was probably having a fantastic day before you barked at him.”</p><p>“Ronan,” Gansey warned.</p><p>The girl turned towards Ronan and growled at him, silver eyes glistening with rage. Then she turned them to Adam.</p><p>He recoiled. <em>This</em> was Blue. Gansey had referred to her by Jane but Ronan’s teasing made it clear that the waitress was a friend of his, he was nasty to everyone but there was a special bastard tone he used just for friends. He didn’t have time to think about the fact Richard Gansey, esteemed vampire prince, was dating a werewolf; he had to figure out some sort of damage control.</p><p>Blue had been so eaten alive by rage from her earlier experience that she hadn’t noticed him at first but with the help of Gansey’s calming petting and Ronan’s teasing she had no doubt caught on to his scent.   </p><p>“Shut up, Ronan.” Blue snapped after getting a good enough look at Adam.</p><p>“Well I believe introductions are in order!” Gansey clasped his hands together with an eager grin. “Adam this is Blue Sargent. Blue this is Adam Parrish.” He said excitedly.</p><p>“This is the saint who puts up with Ronan.” Was all she said.</p><p>Ronan took immediate offense and the two of them began to halfheartedly bicker. Adam took the chance to excuse himself to the bathroom, knowing he needed to take a little bit of time to figure out what to do. He could feel the four sets of eyes following him and so he kept his composure until he got into the men’s room.</p><p>“Fuck,” He swore lightly when he found the bathroom completely empty.</p><p>He began to splash water onto his face, hoping it would snap him back into the quick thinker he needed to be, when suddenly the door smashed open and the tiny werewolf strolled in. “This is a men’s room.” He stammered pathetically.</p><p>Blue shrugged and advanced towards him. “If you can pretend to be a vampire why can’t I pretend to be a boy?” She slanted her eyes at him. Adam wasn’t scared of her physically, she looked gutsy for a female wolf but she was still small and weaker than him even if he was without a pack. But he was scared of what she could do. She could ruin everything.</p><p>“I think that would be less believable.” He told her, trying to keep his cool. He slammed one more handful of water onto his face and shook it off.</p><p>“Did you think you could <em>fool</em> me?” She laughed unkindly. He marveled at how much anger she had stuffed into that small body.</p><p>Adam groaned. “They never told me Gansey’s girlfriend was a werewolf.”</p><p>“Why?” She asked, crossing her arms over her dainty chest. “Why pretend you’re not one?” She clarified.</p><p>“How does it make sense that we’re not allowed a good education?” He snapped. His plan to get out of this scratch free was to hope Blue had enough anger at the injustice werewolves had to go through. Considering she was dating one of the richest vampires of their age she must know how easy vampires have it compared to them. “I’m top of almost all my classes, I’ve never lost my temper and shifted in class and I work <em>hard</em> to pay for school. Why should I settle for shitty education followed a shitty job just because I like meat with my blood?”</p><p>He noticed Blue rub her tongue along her teeth in deep thought for a few moments. “And who are they in your plan?”</p><p>He didn’t need to question who the ‘<em>they’</em> in question were. It became clear that Blue couldn’t care less about his lie, she simply sensed a danger to her friends. </p><p>“A mistake,” He lied. “I was doing fine on my own but they kept inviting me places and I kept saying yes and...then Ronan happened. They’re jeopardizing the life I worked hard to get but I can’t help wanting to be around them.”</p><p>Blue uncrossed her arms and seemed to soften towards him a little bit. “Okay, fair enough. The education we get is abysmal.” She agreed. “But why haven’t you told them the truth yet?”</p><p>“It’s too soon. I need to feel out the relationship first. Plus, if I tell them the truth and the boys at school find out they wouldn’t be very kind to them I imagine, Aglionby boys are bastards after all.” He pegged her as an Aglionby hater despite her relations with three of their students. No doubt she had dealt with more than a few Aglionby bastards.</p><p>“You’re far too reasonable to be dating Ronan.” She commented with a smirk.</p><p>“You’re far too independent to be dating Gansey.” He retorted.</p><p>“That’s true.” She shrugged, unoffended.</p><p>“Plus, Ronan’s <em>complex, </em>he had lots of layers.”</p><p>“Like an onion?” Blue raised her eyebrow.</p><p>Adam couldn’t help but laugh. “That explains why he makes me want to cry sometimes.”</p><p>Blue snorted slightly before shaking her head at him. “Look, Adam, I get it. And my wolf is telling me to trust you.” She said. He took a moment to feel his own wolf out and was surprised it had been so dormant around the female. His wolf didn’t feel Blue to be a threat. She had an almost calming atmosphere about her despite her clear rage. “But don’t play with them. They’re good people.” Her eyes shone silver but his wolf still didn’t feel the need to counter attack.</p><p>“I know they are.” He sighed sadly.</p><p>“Promise me you’ll tell them eventually?”</p><p>He took a large breath. Promising something wasn’t the same as lying. It felt much worse and was harder for him to do. “I promise.” He nodded. He wasn’t sure on how he was going to treat the promise yet. Everything had started to get much more confusing.</p><p>“We better get back to them with some sort of excuse as to what we’ve been doing.” She told him. “Probably best to say you had an issue with werewolves but I made you see sense.”</p><p>“Ronan won’t believe that.” He shook his head. He had made it clear to Ronan that he had no issue with mother’s species and didn’t want to risk tainting his earlier words. </p><p>“If it’s about his mother don’t worry.” Blue waved him off. “Ronan has it in his brain that his mother is a completely different wolf to the rest of us- more superior and <em>clean.</em>”</p><p>Adam shook his head again. “I don’t know.”</p><p>“Believe me,” She pressed with a huff. “He’ll probably love the fact you took issue with me. If we say you thought I smelled like dog he’ll probably ask for your hand in marriage.”</p><p>Adam laughed a little. He did seem to have a taunting relationship with Blue and it could score him some points if it seemed like he agreed with the insults he threw at her. “Okay, but let’s not make a big deal of it. Gansey will be sad if he thinks we have a problem with each other.”</p><p>“Oh god you have no idea,” She groaned. “Blue, when can you meet Adam? Blue, Adam has so many <em>freckles.</em>” She mocked in a gruff Gansey-like voice. “Don’t worry- we’ll keep it nice and small.” She promised, opening the door for him to exit first.</p><p>As they rejoined the group Adam noticed that all three of them kept their eyes on the table in favor of their returning friends. Even Noah’s imaginary scissors couldn’t cut the tension.</p><p>“Don’t worry guys!” Blue sang, slapping her hands onto the table. “Adam had a little shock since none of you told him I was a werewolf.” She shot an angry glare at the three boys. “<em>But</em>, I made him see that we’re all just God’s creatures and we’re all good now.”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, right,” Adam laughed shakily when the eyes switched to him.</p><p>Gansey let out a low whistle. “Well, I’m glad that’s the case. I couldn’t handle you two not getting along.”</p><p>Adam sent Blue a small smirk which she quickly matched. He knew Gansey had high hopes of them getting along.</p><p>“I’d just cut the maggot out my life.” Ronan shrugged before raising his hand back over Adam’s shoulder.</p><p>“Do you promise?” Blue taunted with elongated teeth. Ronan retaliated by showing his own fangs but it was obvious neither of them meant harm to the other.</p><p>“I should have warned you last night when we were talking about my Mom.” Ronan mumbled to him as the other’s continued their talk about Blue’s harassment. “We thought it was best to just let you figure it out for yourself.”</p><p>Adam leaned into Ronan’s arm, showing he wasn’t all that bothered. “She cornered me in the men’s bathroom.” He laughed lowly.</p><p>“Sounds like our Blue.” Ronan snorted.</p><p>Blue turned towards them with a glare. “Did you just call me <em>our</em> Blue?”</p><p>“Shut up, you’re dumb dog ears heard wrong.” Ronan hissed.</p><p>“I’m not the group’s prostitute; I don’t belong to you all.” She snapped.</p><p>“Jane why do you think every little comment insinuates you are a prostitute?”</p><p>Adam was amazed at how often Blue’s eyes turned silver as she glared at her boyfriend. “For the last time <em>Richard</em> my name is Blue- not <em>Jane.</em>”</p><p>“I prefer Jane.” Gansey told her. He had only known her for a short amount of time but even Adam knew that comment wouldn’t sit well with the werewolf.</p><p>“Well, find yourself a Jane.” She growled.</p><p>Noah put his hand on Blue’s spiky hair and began to smooth it down. “I like your name, Blue.”</p><p>“Thank you Noah. You have never called me a prostitute and always call me by my name. Therefore, you’re my favorite. Adam’s my second favorite even though I just met him.” Blue decided as she lent away from Gansey and towards Noah.</p><p>Adam let out a loud laugh. He liked Blue. She wasn’t like the mousy female werewolves he had went to school with, she was <em>wild.</em> Other than Kavinsky she was the only person who knew his secret and instead of being frightened of her he couldn’t help but slightly thank her. Her presence was just another hint at the fact these three boys were special. They didn’t have prejudice against werewolves, they knew that both species functioned at the same level and didn’t need to be separated.</p><p>They were three of the purest vampires he had ever met.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys!<br/>I'm back to work right now and it's very hectic because we're one of the only restaurants to open in my town. This might mean I don't write as much or my standard of writing is a bit lower but I'll try my best to keep working hard and getting chapters out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. The Lynch brothers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the surprise of Blue Sargent the next few days of his heart break plan went along smoothly. He believed it to be day 10 of his plan but he couldn’t exactly mark it on his calendar considering his target had taken to sleeping on his floor the past couple nights. It started after Nino’s when they decided to do some homework together and Ronan claimed the extra use of his brain cells had knocked him out and he couldn’t face the drive home with what little brain power he had left. Adam hadn’t been bothered at first but he was getting sick of waking himself up early and rushing to the bathroom to replace his eye contacts before Ronan could notice the slight difference in the luminosity of his eyes. It had also been some time since Kavinsky had checked up on him and he couldn’t risk Ronan being there when he eventually came to taunt him.</p><p>Although, he did appreciate the first thing he saw in the morning being an incredibly attractive boy. Sometimes he gave himself a moment to drink in the sight before running to the bathroom to vamp himself up. </p><p>“You can always sleep on the bed you know?” Adam told his boyfriend as they got changed out of their school clothes. Ronan changed in the bathroom but kept the door open slightly so they could still chat. It was becoming apparent that Ronan was a lot more reserved than Adam had thought. </p><p>“And risk your virtue? I think not,” Ronan scoffed.</p><p>Adam laughed. One of them was virtuous and it certainly wasn’t him.</p><p>He looked at the mess of blankets on top of his bare floorboard and resisted the urge to wince. His bed wasn’t even comfortable so he doubted the cold hard ground would be. Ronan continuously claimed he was sleeping on the floor to be a gentleman but that was only half a truth, the only lie Ronan Lynch could tell, the whole truth was that he wasn’t ready to get closer. He didn’t realize time was a luxury the two of them couldn’t have.</p><p>“Is this a fancy place?” Adam asked as he regarded his two shirt options.</p><p>“It’s a blood cafe, Parrish.”</p><p>“Yeah, but is it a<em> fancy</em> blood cafe.” Adam groaned. Ronan was introducing Adam to his two brothers, Declan and Matthew, and whilst he knew his relationship with the oldest Lynch was less than ideal he knew Ronan adored his younger sibling and so Adam knew he had to make an effort.</p><p>“I suppose its fancier than most but don’t wear your good pearls, darling.” Ronan laughed, sticking his head out from the bathroom to look at Adam’s choices. “The one on the left,” He pointed at the white shirt, the <em>fancier </em>option of the two.</p><p>With both boys finally dressed and satisfied with their looks they finally left St Agnes. Adam had wanted to drive, considering Ronan had already made it clear he wasn’t allowed to pay for his blood, but when he checked his pockets he realized his keys weren’t there.</p><p>“Oops,” Ronan chuckled, opening up the BMW passenger seat for him.</p><p>Adam pushed his shoulder into Ronan’s harshly. “Asshole,” He hissed.</p><p>Ronan stuck his tongue out like a little child before getting into the driver’s seat.</p><p>“I can’t wait to see the look on Declan’s face.” Ronan chuckled as he drove.</p><p>Adam fiddled with the radio channels until he found one he liked. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“When he finds out you’re my boyfriend.” He said nonchalantly.</p><p>Adam pressed his finger down harshly on the radios power button and turned to face his boyfriend. “You haven’t told them yet?” He asked snappily. “You embarrassed of me?”</p><p>“What? No, man, of course not,” Ronan shook his head so aggressively Adam was surprised the action didn’t affect the route of the car.</p><p>“Clearly you are if you expect your brother to have such a surprise when he sees me.” He hissed. He missed growling at people, it showed more anger than messily hissing and throwing spit at people.</p><p>Ronan risked a glance at him before returning his eyes to the road. “You think I look at you and see poverty don’t you?” He asked incredulously. “I don’t see no difference between us Parrish, it’s <em>you</em> that’s prejudice.”</p><p>Adam laughed, “I am not.”</p><p>“Yes you are. You constantly put space between us because of money. I don’t give a <em>shit</em> how much money you have, Adam, so stop caring about how much I have.” He spoke calmly but there was a lot of tension in his voice. He had clearly had these words in his mind for a long time.</p><p>“Okay so if you’re not embarrassed by me then why didn’t you tell them?” Adam asked.</p><p>“Embarrassed by <em>you?</em> What the fuck is there to be embarrassed about?” Ronan ignored him. “Oh, man, how embarrassing my boyfriend is so smart and so good-looking, it’s horrible.” He gagged.</p><p>“Ronan,” Adam said in a warning tone.</p><p>“It’s none of their business, alright. And I’m telling them now aren’t I?” Ronan groaned, visibly irked.</p><p>Adam turned the radio back on, deciding to let the argument go. Realistically, he knew Ronan wasn’t embarrassed by him. He had had spent some amount of effort courting Adam, he wouldn’t have done that if he was going to feel ashamed once he was dating him. But when you’re the only werewolf in a school full of rich vampires you develop an inferiority complex.</p><p>“Look,” Ronan reached forward and turned the radio back off. “Declan is like Gansey if you turned the dial to 100. He wants me clean, he wants me prestigious and he wants every life decision I make to be ran past him first. And I’m not giving that to him. Let me see the shock on his face, in person, when he figures out I’m gay.” Ronan explained.</p><p>“So it’s a petty thing.” Adam asked with a shake of his head. “The reason you didn’t tell him.” He clarified.</p><p>“I suppose so.”</p><p>Adam couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re an idiot.”</p><p>“Don’t know why you’re laughing, Parrish.” Ronan hissed in fake offense. “Soon my brothers will see that you’re the one who has to put up with this idiot.”</p><p>“They’ll understand the pain I go through, they’ve dealt with you for longer.” Adam smirked.</p><p>Ronan took a look into his rear-view mirror before slamming on the breaks and making Adam fly forward slightly before getting choked by his seatbelt. “That’s what you get for hurting my feelings.” Ronan told him before bursting in to an unsafe hysterical laughing fit.</p><p>The blood cafe was more pompous than the one Ronan had taken him to before. The clientele seemed to be old business men and their considerably younger <em>friends.</em> It didn’t quite fit the description of <em>cafe</em>, with its strange dancing water features and dangling chandeliers. If Adam wasn’t so worried about making a good impression he would have punched Ronan right there for not telling him how pretentious this place was going to be.</p><p>“Hey, runt,” Ronan suddenly yelled, getting the attention of the old conceited vampires.</p><p>A small blond head of curls popped up from the corner of the room excitedly. The boy looked like a fresh breath of air for the extravagant <em>cafe</em>.</p><p>“Ronan!” The boy, clearly his younger brother Matthew, yelled back. Neither boy seemed to care about the glares they got from the customers and the older boy sitting on the same table.</p><p>Ronan placed a hand on Adam’s back and began pushing him towards his brothers. When he got close enough he took a small sniff of the air and tried his best to control his facial expressions. The scent of Matthew Lynch was a messy mix of vampire, werewolf and indescribable hunger. Ronan had told him already that the youngest Lynch had inconclusive results on his species test but Adam hadn’t expected the werewolf in him to be so strong. There was an undeniable scent of vampire from him but the strongest thing Adam could detect was starvation. Matthew was clearly forcing himself to eat the same diet as his brothers and it was destroying him.</p><p>“You brought a friend!” Matthew smiled, fangs popping out.</p><p>“I did,” Ronan nodded. He pulled out the seat beside Matthew and gestured for Adam to sit down, enjoying the raised eyebrow his older brother gave him. “This is Adam Parrish. Adam this is Matthew.” Ronan introduced them as he sat beside his older brother.</p><p>“Hello,” Adam smiled.</p><p>“And I’m Declan, since Ronan would like to pretend I’m not here.” The older boy introduced himself with a sharp nod, which Adam matched.</p><p>Declan was as vampire as Ronan was, if not more. He had the air of superiority around him that Ronan worked hard to abandon and he didn’t attempt to normalize the way he licked a mixture of blood and wine off of his fangs. Like Matthew he had curly hair but his was controlled and clean where Matthews was wild and seemingly un-brushed. As Adam took in the sight of all three Lynch brothers together he realized they looked like three different styles of the same person.</p><p>Ronan swiftly removed the menu that lay in front of Adam and refused to give it back when asked. He claimed it was because he knew what was best but Adam knew it was because he would be angry at the price. He’d heard about places like this before- the irregular blood cafe that sold full human blood, untainted by the taste of animals. The price you had to pay to be able to sell such blood was <em>intense</em> and it obviously showed up on the price of the meal.</p><p> The liquid arrived quickly, served in crystal wine glasses except from Matthew’s which was in a plastic replica. He looked clumsy and childlike and the staff had clearly picked up on that.</p><p>“So, Adam, I take it you go to Aglionby Academy also?” Declan asked as the waiter left them.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” It felt strange to address a boy only a few years older than him as ‘sir’ but he was surprisingly intimidated by Declan’s presence. He understood what Ronan meant by Gansey times 100.</p><p>Declan smiled at the use of an honorific. “Do you appreciate the school, unlike my brother?” He asked, sparing a glance at Ronan who seemed completely unbothered by the comment. Ronan was never ashamed of how much he hated school.</p><p>“I do,” Adam nodded. “Aglionby will give me a lot of opportunities so I work hard to keep my grades up.” His comment made him realize that he had been slacking with his work since he met Ronan. He just hoped it wouldn’t show on his grades. All the scheming he was doing was so he could continue studying at Aglionby in peace- it would be horribly ironic if after all his work he was left with tears and failed classes. </p><p>“Very good, hopefully your enthusiasm about school can rub off on my brother.” Declan said, though he clearly knew it wasn’t possible. If Richard Gansey couldn’t make Ronan a better student then no one could. Declan took a long gulp of his blood/wine concoction before focusing his attention back on Adam. “May I ask about your family and clan?” He asked casually.</p><p>“You may not.” Adam replied in a cool tone.</p><p>He heard a strange gargling noise and turned around to see Ronan choking on his blood, the plasma dripped down his chin and on to the mahogany table. Declan raised a hand as if to pat his brother on the back but then thought better of it and placed his hand back on his own glass. When he could finally retain his breath Ronan send Adam a wicked grin.</p><p>“My apologies, Adam, I understand families and clans can be messy business.” Declan said with wide eyes, clearly not expecting the blunt nature of a cornered Adam Parrish. “Is my brother a good friend to you?”</p><p>Adam couldn’t stop his eyes from widening. From what he had heard about Declan it didn’t make sense that he would care about Ronan’s friendships. Ronan had made it seem like all his brother wanted was for him to be a well educated and prestigious vampire but clearly Declan was interested in Ronan’s happiness, at least a little bit. “He’s a very good friend.” Adam replied as he took a small drink from his glass. It was thicker than the blood he’s had before and had a twinge of sweetness.</p><p>Before Declan could ask another question Ronan slammed his hand down on the table, shaking their glasses. “Actually,” He drawled with an impious smirk. “I’m his <em>boyfriend</em>.”</p><p>“Ooohhhh,” Matthew cooed instantly, turning to give Adam an encouraging and sweet smile.</p><p>Declan simply raised an eyebrow towards his brother and asked, “Your what?”</p><p>“My boyfriend, partner, significant other, y’know, we do romantic shit, hold hands, look at the stars and shit.” Ronan supplied with a wave of the hand. Adam resisted the urge to kick Ronan’s leg for using the word ‘shit’ twice to explain their relationship.</p><p>“Ah, I see,” Declan mused. “Well, congratulations.”</p><p>Adam looked towards Ronan but the vampire was too busy staring down his brother to notice. “What do you mean <em>congratulations?</em>” He snapped.</p><p>“I mean, <em>congratulations.</em>” Declan shrugged. “Did you think that would shock me? I’m more shocked by the fact he’s polite and decent than the fact he’s a boy.” He said with a laugh.</p><p>Adam squirmed in his seat and found Matthew doing the same. The two eldest Lynch brothers were caught up in their own destructive world and the atmosphere it created was heated and uncomfortable. Declan seemed completely unbothered by the tension but Ronan continued to glare daggers at his brother as he clutched tightly on to his glass.</p><p>Declan suddenly turned towards Adam with a sigh. “My brother thinks me to be a bigot, though I’m sure he’s used worse words to describe me to you, but that’s the just of his opinion.” He explained to Adam. Though he was calm and friendly his voice was pissing Adam off. He clearly used charm and the Lynch name to get people to respect him but it wasn’t working on him. His first example of the Lynch’s was Ronan and as far as Adam was concerned Declan was an inferior version. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, little brother, but I’m unbothered by how people choose to love.” He told Ronan with a bored look on his face.</p><p>An awkward silence fell on the table until Matthew decided to intervene. “I don’t know if I like boys or girls.” He said with childlike confusion.</p><p>“Not an issue. You won’t be dating for a long time.” Declan told him sternly.</p><p>“Agreed,” Ronan groaned.</p><p>The tension died considerably with Matthew’s help and conversation drifted to easier subjects. Somehow Adam found himself agreeing to join the Lynch’s at church on Sunday despite his aversion to religion. It made Ronan light up after his fight with his brother so Adam didn’t feel too cheated. As they made their way back to Ronan’s car after their meal Matthew caught him in a tight hug.</p><p>“Take care of him please?” He asked, not waiting for a response as he ran off to his oldest brother. </p><p>Adam got into the car and tried his best to get the image of Matthew’s wide pleading eyes out of his head. He had enough guilt to deal with already he didn’t want to add idealistic younger siblings to it.</p><p>When they got home Ronan reached the door first and gave the door a small bored kick. The door pushed open and Adam let out an annoyed groan.</p><p>“Jesus, Ronan, you broke my fucking door.” He cried, pushing the boy out of the way so he could get a better look at the lock. It had shattered into three jagged pieces, Adam started to wonder if he had any super glue but knew the thought of that helping the broken lock was naive and stupid. “I need a new lock. Thank you.” He moaned, slamming the heel of his hand into Ronan’s back. He wasn't too angry, the lock had been on it's last legs for weeks now, but he didn't appreciate the unsympathetic look on Ronan's face after  he had just destroyed his boyfriend's property. </p><p> “My bad, man, I clearly don’t know my own strength.” Ronan let out a chuckle, not nearly as apologetic as he should be. “Come on, we’ll stay at Monmouth for the night.”</p><p>Adam slanted his eyes at Ronan. “Was that your plan all along?” He asked.</p><p>Ronan scoffed, “I’m not as devious as you think I am.”</p><p>“And pigs fly,” Adam rolled his eyes as he delicately shut his now broken door. “Wanna watch a movie?” He asked as he pulled of his shoes. They were an old pair that didn’t completely fit him anymore and so he wiggled his toes to relieve some of the pain from being squashed for a few hours. </p><p>“Nah, come on man, you can’t stay here tonight without a locked door.” Ronan protested. He opened the door once more and gestured towards the break as though Adam wasn’t aware.</p><p>“It’s fine, Ronan, who the hell would break into a church?” He gestured for Ronan to close his door again but the vampire kept it open with a stern look on his face.</p><p>“Heathens.” Ronan replied instantly.</p><p>Adam laughed, “A heathen lives here, I think we’re safe.”</p><p>“You don’t <em>have</em> to live here.” Ronan mumbled as he closed the door and turned away from Adam. He said it so quietly that he probably expected Adam, a vampire with only one hearing ear, not to hear it.</p><p>“What does that mean?” Adam asked defensively.</p><p>Ronan turned towards him, nervous at first but then noticeably gaining fast confidence as he spoke. “Come on man, you know Gansey would cry tears of joy if you moved in with us.”</p><p>Adam flinched. It was something he had thought of a few times as a sort of guilty pleasure, but it wasn’t possible even in his wildest dreams. He gave up being property when he left the trailer park, he wasn’t about to sign himself away to Richard Gansey no matter how happy it would make the vampire. Not to mention, it wouldn’t be long until the household of Monmouth grew to despise him.</p><p>“Gansey would honestly <em>pay</em> you to move in with us.” Ronan said nonchalantly. It surprised Adam that after all the time they had spent together Ronan thought that comment would sit well with him.</p><p>“I work hard to have a place of my own. It’s <em>mine.</em> I don’t need hand-outs.” He told the vampire with a hiss. He understood the worry, his apartment was unsafe and basic, but he didn’t welcome it at all.</p><p>Ronan returned Adam’s hiss with even more ferocity. “You don’t have to get offended every time your friends want to help you, Parrish.”</p><p>“It’s not <em>help</em> it’s <em>pity.”</em></p><p>“Oh shut the <em>fuck up</em>, Parrish!” Ronan yelled and slammed his onto the table next time causing his alarm clock to fall off and shattered onto the floor.</p><p>“Stop breaking my things!” Adam screamed as he stood up and moved towards his livid boyfriend. “Everything here is <em>mine!</em> My life is my own, if I need to feed I pay for it, if I need a shower I pay for the water, if some asshole breaks my door I buy a new one!” He punctuated every point by jabbing a finger towards Ronan’s chest and pushing him backwards. It crossed his mind momentarily that this could be his chance to break up with Ronan and have it justified by a fight, but he knew it wouldn’t create the shockwave that Kavinsky’s sick mind craved.</p><p>“If I’m the asshole that broke it then I’ll be the asshole that pays to fix it.” Ronan snapped as he pushed Adam’s invasive finger away from his chest.</p><p>Adam pulled at his hair with a groan. He expected this sort of naive persistence from Gansey but usually Ronan was respectful of Adam’s principles. He found little ways to push Adam out of his comfort zone but their current argument was more like Ronan was demolishing his comfort zone all together. The sudden change of heart confused him for a few minutes before he came to a realization.  “You didn’t get a fight out Declan.”</p><p>“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ronan asked.</p><p>Adam scuffed his foot against his floor before snapping, “You didn’t get to fight with your brother so you’re making a fight with me.”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m doing.” Ronan argued, elbowing his way out of the corner Adam had him pinned against. He regarded the door in a fight or flight motion before setting his gaze back on Adam. “Since you clearly think you know me so well, what’s my next move, asshole?”</p><p>“You’re going to run away,” Adam answered immediately. “Because you’re scared of ever having to say sorry for being a bastard.”</p><p>Ronan opened his mouth and let out a loud sarcastic chuckle. “Well, someone get that man a prize, because I’m not sticking around to be insulted for <em>caring</em> about your wellbeing.” He said calmly before opening the door that made so much trouble.</p><p>“Fuck you!” Adam yelled, because he wanted the last word.</p><p>Ronan gave him the finger before slamming the door shut, with him on the other side.</p><p>If questioned, Adam wasn’t really sure how to explain how a broken door escalated into Ronan Lynch <em>choosing</em> to leave his side for the first time.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm back at work now and working almost every day so I haven't had the same amount of writing time which is either going to mean my writing will lack in speed or style. Hopefully I'm able to keep up a decent posting time and writing style but I can only apologise if the quality dulls slightly. I have about 5 more chapters planned until the ending so hopefully I can get it all done in about a month!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Dropping in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam knew he was overdue a visit from Kavinsky. With no vampire sleeping on his floor his apartment became a play park for Kavinsky again and the psychopath would no doubt be visiting him after his late night shift at Boyd’s. Adam would have to find Ronan soon and fix their argument before any rumors could manifest and drive worse encouragement tactics from his blackmailer. He started to think of some sort of plan to apologize to Ronan -even though he had nothing to apologize for- when the Mitsubishi pulled up beside him in the almost empty Aglionby parking lot. He should have known better than to try and predict Joseph Kavinsky’s deranged plans.</p><p>Adam debated throwing in his ear buds and making a swift and justifiable exit but he knew there would be a reason for Kavinsky to park right beside him and running would only prolong whatever abuse he was about to get. Kavinsky rolled down his windows and let out a loud whistle before tapping the side of his car. It was obvious he thought he was hilarious, calling Adam over like a dog, but Adam would find more humor in paint drying.</p><p>He walked over to the car, knowing he had no real choice, and got into the front seat when Kavinsky gestured for him to do so. He didn’t like the way the car locked as he shut the door.  </p><p>“How’s it going?” Kavinsky asked calmly, as though they were having a friendly catch up. Adam found himself wondering if Kavinsky had normality in any part of his life, if he could joke around harmlessly with the boys that followed him around or if he held their strings and broke them when he was bored. Clearly he had a family who gave him luxuries but did he tell them his hopes and dreams or were his parents the reason he was so ruthless and psychotic. Adam was very curious about the mystery of the Bulgarian mobster, it was the same curiosity you had when you regarded a wild animal and wondered if they would accept a pet from you, it was a pipe dream that you never acted on because if you did you would loose a hand. Kavinsky extended his hand to Adam's shoulder and gave it a soft shove as he spoke, “How’s life? How’s the wife?”</p><p>Adam heaved in a long breath before blowing it towards Kavinsky in the form of a sigh. “Everything’s fine.”</p><p>“Oh, superb, very grand,” Kavinsky nodded with his bottom lip out. “Do me a favor and open my glove box a sec?” He asked with an unbothered shrug as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.</p><p>Adam couldn’t be bothered with games and so he done as he was told and reached over to open the glove box. As soon as it opened he could see the glistering metal of a gun. “Jesus fucking <em>Christ</em> Kavinsky!” He yelled as he slammed the glove box shut. He looked around the car park to see if anyone was around to witness his demise but it was deserted. He was alone.</p><p>“It’s loaded with silver bullets. Lie to me again and you can taste them.” Kavinsky told him with an impish smile. He was so calm and unshaken, it made Adam realize that murder wasn't something that would be heavy on Kavinsky's conscience, it would hold the same power and remembrance as a walk in the park.  </p><p>“I’m not lying.” Adam lied.</p><p>“Do you want to see the bullets? They’re engraved!” Kavinsky told him excitedly as he reached for the glove box, only to be stopped by Adam’s forceful knee pushing him back. Adam didn’t give himself the time to think about what was engraved on those bullets.</p><p>“We had a little argument, its fine, I’ll fix it.” Adam grumbled. It wasn’t clear how Kavinsky knew there was an issue but Adam wouldn’t be surprised if the vampire had bugged his apartment and heard every word spoken in it. Ever since the start of the blackmail he felt eyes on him wherever he was, he knew he was never truly alone when the mobster wanted something valuable from him.</p><p>“I thought as much,” Kavinsky mused. “We went for a little drive last night. For a whole hour the speed limit just disappeared, it was <em>intense</em>.” He moved closer towards Adam so he could taunt him without any breathing space as a buffer. His breath smelled of fresh blood and liquor.</p><p>Adam let out a loud warning growl. He was pissed that Ronan would break the law and risk his safety just because he had a small argument with Adam but mostly he was angry about the way Kavinsky ruined every bit of process he was making. He worked hard to get to this place with Ronan and he wasn't going to let some uppity fuck of a vampire ruin it just so he could abuse Adam some more. “Stop getting in my way if you want me to make this work.” He told the mobster.</p><p>Kavinsky’s eyes widened joyfully as he placed his heads on Adam’s thighs and gave them a painful squeeze. “My, my, my, is my little puppy <em>jealous?</em>” He sang, tightening his constriction with each word, it felt like a serpent killing his meal. </p><p>“I’m not a puppy, Kavinsky.” Adam barked, swatting the hands away from the uncomfortable grip on his legs. “I’ve got fully grown teeth and if you push me much further I might have to use them.” He felt his teeth begging to elongate but he didn’t have a spare pair of artificial fangs with him so he tried to control his breathing to keep them in but it was hard when the vampire was laughing at him.</p><p>“Oh my god, this is great. Honestly Parrish I love when you’re like this.” Kavinsky chuckled as he reached behind Adam so that their faces where only inches away from each other. “You remind me of <em>him </em>sometimes.” He smirked.</p><p>Adam wanted to be sick. “I hate you.” </p><p>“Hate sex is the best sex.” Kavinsky shrugged as he brought his hand towards the back of Adam’s neck, causing a shiver to run up his spine.</p><p>“I can <em>smell</em> the virgin from you.” Adam taunted with a dramatic sniff of the air around them. No amount of self-hatred would ever allow him to enjoy the psychotic nature and belligerent actions of Joseph Kavinsky. </p><p>“Not for long if you keep up this game with me.” He grinned, digging his nails into Adam’s neck just hard enough to create pain without releasing any blood. “Oh, by the way, you might have your work cut out for you. Enjoy fixing your mess, biscuit.” </p><p>Adam felt bile crawl up his throat as he pushed the vampire away, Kavinsky didn't put up any more resistance and instead sent a wink at something behind Adam's head. When he turned around he was greeted with the sight of Ronan Lynch, eyebrow raised and face angry. He clearly didn't want to rescue Adam and instead turned around and began walking towards school, the place he hated most of all.</p><p>“Jesus Christ.” Adam groaned, slapping his hands onto his cheeks.                                                                           </p><p>“Your good catholic boyfriend won’t like you saying the lords name in vain.” Kavinsky chastised playfully.</p><p>“I’m doing my job, Kavinsky, just let me do it in peace.” Adam gave him one last growl before running after Ronan. Kavinsky had been so close that the scent of blood and liqueur had rubbed off on him and it made it hard to find Ronan through scent alone. He had just about given up as he tugged on his hair at the front doors of Aglionby when he finally caught the smell of leather, lavender and slight betrayal.</p><p>“What were you doing with Kavinsky?” Ronan called out from behind him. When Adam turned around he couldn’t dictate Ronan’s emotions from facial expressions alone, the vampire was keeping everything hidden in an attempt to appear strong but the effort was futile, Adam knew him well enough to know he would be overreacting inside. </p><p>“Kavinsky was telling me about last night.” Adam retorted immediately. He knew the smartest thing to do would be for him to beg for forgiveness and pledge his innocence but there was anger writhing throughout his body and it wasn't willing to be quiet. </p><p>Ronan let out a hollow laugh. “Your faces have to be that close for him to tell you I went a drive last night?”</p><p>“How close were your faces last night?” Adam felt childish, throwing everything back at Ronan when conversation turned to him, but he was sick of being the bad guy. Ronan had done wrong as well and he needed to answer for it. </p><p>“We were in separate cars so not very. Now answer my question.” Ronan snapped, pushing himself off the walls of the academy and advancing towards Adam with a glare as he pushed a hand towards the other boys shoulder. Just like Kavinsky’s touch it made a shiver fly through his body, but this time he could feel the tingle reach his face, reddening his cheeks. Part of him craved this sort of tension from Ronan, as unhealthy as that was.</p><p>Adam took a few seconds to decide on what to tell Ronan. For someone who wanted Ronan after Adam destroyed him Kavinsky sure was making himself out to be an enemy. If Adam didn’t tell the right story Ronan would never look at the Bulgarian mobster again and as pleasing as that sounded it also meant Adam would be Kavinsky's scapegoat.</p><p>“He said he had a secret about you so I got in the car and he told me about last night’s street racing fiasco.” Adam said disapprovingly. Ronan showed no remorse and simply rolled his eyes. “When I told him to stay away from you he dragged me close, most likely because he saw you and knew it would piss you off.”</p><p>“That the truth, Adam?” Ronan crossed his arms across his chest and raised a single brow towards him.</p><p>“Of course it’s the truth, Ronan.” Adam groaned. It was Ronan’s favorite kind of truth, a half truth that left out some vital points like threats and engraved bullets. “For all the time I’ve been at Aglionby have you ever seen me talk to anyone other than you, Gansey and Noah?” He asked. Adam had always been a loner- not because he was unlikable, he had more than a few propositions of friendship, and not even because of the difference in species, he hadn’t been interested in the werewolves or humans in his old school- to put it simply he just never clicked with anyone before meeting the boys of Monmouth Manufacturing. He was a unique mess of a boy and he couldn’t fit in with people that weren’t tarnished just like him.</p><p>Ronan simply hummed and regarded him with intense eyes. It seemed that Adam’s lying skills had begun to degrade and Ronan was seeing through the mask he wore. It made Adam feel almost naked.</p><p>“I don’t care about anyone in this school except for you, Gansey and Noah.” Adam pressed, stepping forward and placing his hands on Ronan’s shoulder. It was the complete truth and he wanted Ronan to understand that. There were only so many truths he could safely tell and this was the most important one.</p><p>“I’m first on the list?” Ronan asked, the tell tale sign of a smirk dancing on the left side of his mouth. “I’m touched, Parrish.”</p><p>Adam let out a sigh of relief at the return of Ronan’s sarcasm. “It wasn’t a pecking order list. I care about you three equally.” Adam gave Ronan’s shoulders a small squeeze before letting his hands drop to his sides.</p><p>Ronan kicked his shins lightly and gasped. “You mean you touch Gansey and Noah the way you touch me, I’m wounded.” He said as he playfully fought with him.</p><p>It was clear that the fight was going to be easily swept away but Adam wanted to make sure it was resolved and couldn’t come back to bite him. “Are we good now? About last night <em>and</em> Kavinsky?” He asked shyly, unsure if he was treading on very thin breakable ice.</p><p>“Yeah, nerd, we’re good.” Ronan said, though he didn’t sound very believable. Doubt must have crept onto Adam’s face because Ronan leaned towards him and left a delicate, soft kiss on his lips. The kiss made his redemption believable. No one with lingering anger in their heart could kiss like that.</p><p>“Tell me you won’t street race anymore.” Adam asked quietly, scared if he spoke louder it would create a new argument. For someone so hell-bent on destroying him Adam worried a great deal about Ronan’s safety.</p><p>Ronan sighed, “Adam...”</p><p>“Please Ronan, I need to know that every time we fight you’re not going to try kill yourself in a race.” He pressed. What he really meant was when they break up Adam needs to know Ronan will seek solace in Kavinsky instead of speed. He can handle the guilt of Ronan entering a toxic psychotic relationship much better than he could handle the guilt of Ronan’s racing related end.</p><p>“I’ll try,” Ronan said. Though it sounded like a promise to Adam.</p><p>“That’s all I can ask.” Adam nodded, placing a kiss on Ronan’s cheek. The weak circulatory system of the vampire kicked into overdrive and reddened his face almost immediately.</p><p>When the bell for call rang Ronan curled his pinkie around Adam’s and sent him a small smile. “See you soon.” He said before walking off to a class he wouldn’t pay attention in.</p><p>Adam smiled after him, unbothered by the eyes he felt watching him.</p><p>Ronan was making him weak. He was destroying him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this is really short, I've been working a lot and I also don't want to mix chapter plots together just for the sake of longer chapters.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Belonging</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For once in his life Adam was making someone else a priority over work. He could have allowed Ronan to plan another date that fit in perfectly with his schedule but Adam wanted to do something nice for Ronan this time, he wasn’t going to have many more chances to make the vampire smile. It was clear that Ronan was an animal lover and though Adam wasn’t the biggest fan he found a nearby aquarium to take Ronan to on Saturday. At least in an aquarium he wouldn’t be forced to touch anything with large scary teeth. With their date on Saturday and his promise to join the Lynch brothers at church on Sunday Adam had to ask Boyd for the whole weekend off for the first time since he got the job. Weekend’s gave him the opportunity for longer hours to get enough money for rent and food but without those days he was forced to work every day after school to make up for it. He wouldn’t have minded usually but he realized he was started to get a tad moody without seeing his friends as much. When it reached Thursday night the gang were having a movie night with Blue and Adam promised to swing by if they were still hanging out when he finished at 10, despite the fact he would be exhausted and stinking of oil and grease. After three hours of work he was starting to get a little restless and started to make rookie mistakes despite being quite an advanced mechanic for his age, it wasn't like him and he feared the kind of mistakes he would make when he was shunned by his friends for breaking Ronan's heart. </p><p>“Got something better to do today?” Boyd asked as Adam was under a 2017 Chevrolet Spark. </p><p>Adam sighed and pulled himself out from under the car. Boyd grinned at him to show he wasn’t all that bothered by Adam’s distracted nature. “Sorry, this isn’t like me.” He groaned.</p><p>“It’s not,” Boyd agreed, still smiling, always smiling. “You’re the only teenager I’ve ever met who wants to spend all their nights in a shabby mechanics.”</p><p>Adam didn’t mention the fact that he didn’t actually <em>want</em> to be at work all the time, he would much rather be putting his attention into his studies, but life just had a way of pushing him harder than it pushed anyone else. “I just haven’t spent much time with my friends lately and it’s getting to me- which is weird because we haven’t even been friends that long.” He admitted to Boyd. It was always easy to spill his emotions to the older man, he had a calming and parental influence over Adam and he knew there was never any judgment involved. He made Adam feel like the kid he was and not the adult he had to become to survive.</p><p>“Teenagers are like guinea pigs, they need to be together all the time to function properly. They’re pack animals.” Boyd grinned with a lazy shrug.</p><p>Adam <em>was</em> a literal pack animal but he had never felt like one. He always functioned best alone until now. School still gave him the opportunity to see his friends, of course, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He craved more. He had never been an addictive person like his Father. Drugs, alcohol and cigarettes were simply signs of weakness in his eyes. But he knew he was addicted to those boys. The withdrawal from them was going to be unkind.</p><p>“Adam, buddy, you’re a kid. You need to relax sometimes. Get going, go see your friends.” Boyd told him as he used his foot to pull Adam fully out from under the car. Adam stood up from the mechanic creeper and shook his head at the man.</p><p>“I need the money. I’m alright, honest.” He lied.</p><p>“Did I say anything about cutting your pay, kid?” Boyd laughed.</p><p>“I can’t accept pay I didn’t earn.” Adam pushed, though less hostile than how he would have pushed back at his Aglionby friends. It didn’t feel like charity when it gave from a man who employed him because of his cheap age.</p><p>“Adam you’ve earned more pay than I could ever give you, believe me. You’ve only got a few hours left of your shift anyway. I’d rather you use the time hanging out with your friends and relaxing a little. Too much work ain’t good for the soul.” He said, giving Adam a slap to the back to let him know it wasn’t up for discussion.</p><p>“Thank you, sir.” Adam said with a smile, still a tad uneasy about skipping work but he knew it was the best option. If he stayed he would make more mistakes and he wasn't as forgiving as Boyd, his heart didn't have the strength to forgive himself. </p><p>“Stop calling me, sir, makes me feel old.” Boyd sighed, rubbing at his graying hair. “Now get going, eat popcorn, be with your friends and that fancy boy of yours.” He let out a cackling laugh as Adam’s face burst into a blush. Boyd saw right through any barrier Adam tried to set up between them. He knew what Ronan meant to him which meant he would be a bit more understanding when Adam lost his boyfriend and friend and consequently a bit of himself </p><p>Adam didn’t waste time sending a text to let Ronan know he was coming, he simply changed out of his overalls and got into his car, cursing any traffic that kept him from seeing the people he disgustingly craved to see.</p><p>When he knocked on the door he heard footsteps hastily running to the door before it ripped open and he could finally see Ronan’s smiling face. “You made it.” He grinned.</p><p>“I did, Boyd let me leave early.” Adam grinned back at his boyfriend before leaning forward to give him a small kiss.</p><p>“Gross!” He heard Blue yell from the living room, despite the fact there was no way she could have seen them.</p><p>“Blue claims she’s psychic.” Ronan shrugged as he grabbed Adam’s hand and led him into the living room. Gansey had Blue’s legs on his lap stopping him from getting up but he reached across her small frame to give Adam a fist bump. Noah regarded him with sleepy eyes and messy hair, he never seemed to be able to get through a whole movie without a small nap.</p><p>“That’s right, I am. And I can see my foot going up your ass if you annoy me tonight.” Blue told Ronan with a growl.</p><p>Ronan let go of Adam to clap his hands together. “Oh, goody, is that a promise.” He deadpanned.</p><p>Blue got up from the couch and grabbed Adam’s hand before Ronan could stop her. “Come on, Adam, let’s have a Gangsey boyfriend talk!” She sang as she whisked him away from the living room despite the glare from Ronan and the betrayed pout from Gansey.</p><p>She pulled him into Gansey’s room as if she owned the place and almost threw him onto the bed. When he crossed his legs into a basket she leaned against the wall and placed her legs into his lap. Werewolves were known for enjoying constant touch and comfort but he wasn’t quite used to it himself.</p><p>“Have you given much thought to telling them the truth?” She asked with a small encouraging smile. Since their rocky meeting Blue had taken to texting him a couple times a day to have causal chats. It usually involved complaining about work and school and their boyfriends but she hadn't brought up his secret until now, Adam was stupid to believe the feisty she-wolf would let it go. </p><p>“I have,” He sighed, a part of him recoiled at the fact he wasn't lying. He daydreamed constantly about telling the truth, but each time he allowed himself to indulge in the dream it ended with a loud bang as Kavinsky's engraved bullets entered his chest. “But I want to give it another couple of weeks just to feel fully comfortable.” He told her. It was only two weeks before he was to break Ronan’s heart anyway. Blue would think he couldn't bring himself to tell the truth and the guilt of lying caused the breakup. She would only ever know half of the truth, just enough to feel sympathy for him but not to forgive him. </p><p>Blue gave him a nod before reaching forward and taking his hands into hers. Adam flinched at the increased contact but didn’t try and pull his hands back. “I know you don’t have a pack, Adam, I can sense the weakness form you.” She said.</p><p>Adam snapped his hands back and pushed her legs off of him with a growl. She was not so strong herself. Small, not exactly skinny but in no means muscled. He knew his wolf wasn’t the image of strength, it was small and dainty but he could only imagine her wolf as minute and scrawny. If need be he could take her on with little to no impact on his body. </p><p>Blue gave him a weak growl as she took his hands back as though they belonged to her and held on to them tightly despite his discomfort. “I’m not trying to be rude, Adam, I’m trying to help.” She persisted. “My pack is a mix of family and friends, all female but not because we hate men or anything, the men in our family were just assholes.”</p><p>“Alright, you have a pack, good for you.” He snapped.</p><p>“Shut up,” She snapped back with a glare. “I’m telling you this because we want you to join our pack. I’ve told them about you, don’t worry they’re sworn to secrecy, and they want you to come meet them to see if you’ll fit with us.”</p><p>Adam stayed silent. He hadn’t belonged to a pack for years and even the one he was born into wasn’t a pack so much as his Father throwing his weight around and using the title of Alpha to get away with abuse. He knew he would eventually need a pack to survive, he didn’t want to become Ronan’s mother collapsing from weakness without one, but the Sargent pack would be a bad choice considering she would grow to hate him soon and he doubted her family would be kind to him after that- Blue had to have gotten her attitude from somewhere. </p><p>He opened his mouth to tell Blue he would have to think about it when she placed a hand over his mouth.</p><p>“What?” She yelled rudely, hurting his ear.</p><p>“Can I have my boyfriend back?” Ronan groaned from outside.</p><p>“No, he’s mine now. He’s joining me and Gansey in a throuple.” Blue told him, hand still over Adam’s mouth.</p><p>“No that’s Noah’s job. Adam’s just for me.” Ronan argued.</p><p>Adam couldn’t help but smile, Blue must have felt it through her hand because she wrinkled her nose at him. “Gross,” She said as she removed her hand from his mouth.</p><p>“I’ll think about it, Blue.” He whispered to her as she got up from the bed. She gave him a nod, knowing he wouldn’t think too hard and then opened the door to reveal a pissed off vampire. They glared at each other childishly as she left the two boys alone.</p><p>“What was she wanting?” Ronan asked as he sat on Blue’s vacant spot and put his legs into Adam’s lap. He resisted the urge to tell Ronan how similar he was to Blue, knowing he would take offence.</p><p>“To hear how romantic and soft you are.” Adam teased as he rested his hands on Ronan’s bare ankles as his jeans rode upwards. He rubbed his thumb against the vampire’s cool skin for a moment.</p><p>Ronan scoffed, “I am not romantic and soft.”</p><p>“Yes you are.” Adam laughed. “You get me nice gifts, you took me to your childhood home to feed your pets, you sleep on the floor to be near me but not too near that you <em>steal my virtue.</em>” He mocked, pinching the skin of his ankle and getting a small kick to his stomach as payback.</p><p>“I hate you.” He glared.</p><p>“No you don’t.” Adam sang, nipping his skin again childishly.</p><p>“You’re right, I don’t.” Ronan sighed. “I love you.”</p><p>Adam’s hands faltered mid-pinch.</p><p>“You don’t have to say it back you know. People fall in love at different times it’s a proven fact.” Ronan shrugged as though the concept of love was such a simple thing, as though he wasn’t the first person to ever love Adam Parrish. </p><p>Adam crawled forward to place a small kiss on Ronan’s forehead. He wanted to give Ronan <em>something</em> in return for his candor and love because he didn’t have the luxury off replicating what Ronan gave him. He remembered telling Kavinsky that two weeks was not enough to feel love for someone, he had been so naive and stupid because he knew that in these two weeks he had felt more emotion than all the years his family gave him. Love didn't have a clock. </p><p>“Let’s join the others.” Adam whispered against his boyfriend’s forehead.</p><p>He knew he should feel the threat of tears but he couldn’t push down the fact he was happy. If this was what love felt like he had been missing out his entire life.</p><p>“Yeah, Gansey will be missing you.” Ronan smirked, grabbing hold of Adam’s hand. The vampire found it so easy to confess love and act like nothing had changed but Adam's whole world had been spun around, his brain a muddled up mess. </p><p>As Ronan went to grab some blood Adam sat on the side of the sofa. Noah sat beside him immediately and Blue joined them with a mischievous grin as she settled her head into Noah’s lap. He enjoyed petting her spiky hair.</p><p>“Move,” Ronan told Noah simply as he came back.</p><p>“No,” Noah grinned. Adam couldn’t help but laugh. It was like a kitten defying a tiger. “I’ve stole your partners, they’re mine now.” He said triumphantly. Blue cuddled into his lap and Adam leaned on his side a little for dramatic effect.</p><p>“I take back my earlier statement.” Ronan told Adam with a glare as he sat down on the other sofa wearing the same angry look as Gansey.</p><p>Adam grinned, "No you don't." </p><p>After a few minutes of the move and a lot of sighing from Ronan Adam eventually got up and changed his seat to beside Ronan, hoping no one would comment. No one called him out vocally but Blue sent him a whipping motion through her hands. Adam groaned as he settled in to Ronan’s side and sent Blue the finger.</p><p>“Yes, Adam, that’s the correct way to address the smelly dog.” Ronan encouraged him, wrapping an arm around his body.</p><p>Blue growled at him and curled back into Noah. Gansey took his moment and sat in Adam’s vacant spot, glad he was at least close to his temperamental girlfriend now.</p><p>Adam smiled at the sight of them all, taking in the feeling of belonging whilst he still can.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ik, ik, another short chapter. But I wanted something nice and cute before I destroy everything!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Kiss me quick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's been so long since I updated but I've had a lot of work to do lately!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a lot of dumb ideas and google searches Adam decided to take his boyfriend to the Aquarium for their date. It was the perfect date for them= Ronan would look at at animals with a look of wonder and admiration on his face and Adam would look at Ronan the same way. He wouldn't have to touch any animals, who in their right mind would expect people to dive their hands into freezing water to touch something slimy or scaly. He had put a lot of thought into the date and was rather excited for it, but somehow it backfired on him and he was forced to hold a crab.</p><p>The thing had eyes somewhere, he knew that logically, but he couldn’t find them on its hard orange shell. His crab was small and he had been told it’s was in a stage of its life where its claws wouldn’t do much damage but he still looked at it with uneasy tension. The animal in Adam knew he was superior but his claws didn’t have the power to cut things in half with ease and he was left with slightly jealously about that realization. </p><p>Ronan had a larger crab whose claws had been taped together for handling, as barbaric as that sounded the crab looked like it didn’t mind. He gave Adam a smirk as he pushed the crab close to him. "Stop being so crabby, Parrish." He taunted.</p><p>Adam let out a horrendous laugh and almost dropped the poor crab he had been holding. He placed it back into the small pool he had gotten it from so that a child with more love for animals could fawn over it.</p><p>“I didn’t want to hold it.” Adam wrinkled his nose. The smell of fish was pungent no matter where they went in the aquarium, it would be easy to ignore for a human or vampire but for Adam it felt like someone had shoved a sardine up his nostril. As a wolf he loved the smell of meat, it was his favorite perfume, but fish had a totally different aroma and it offended him greatly. </p><p>Ronan handed his crab back over to one of the workers and both boys went to wash the disgusting smell of salt water and fish off their hands. Almost immediately after he dried his hands Ronan slipped his into Adam’s with relaxed ease. Neither boy minded the looks they got from the older generation around them.</p><p>“You have to like at least <em>one</em> animal, Parrish.” Ronan groaned, swinging their joined hands a little as they walked towards the sea lion show that Ronan had been vocally excited about all day. He was becoming very comfortable around Adam, it was both relaxing and nerve-racking all at once.</p><p>“I like dogs, I suppose.” Adam shrugged.</p><p>“Like Blue?”</p><p>Adam used his spare hand to hit Ronan’s shoulder. “No not like Blue. Like <em>real</em> dogs.” He <em>did</em> like Blue but he hated the insinuation that wolves were like dogs. It was just an inane comparison made to irk them. </p><p>“I’ll buy you a dog one day when you’re a big successful lawyer or some shit.” Ronan told him. “Unless that’s a gift your poor boy morals can’t expect.”</p><p>Adam hit the vampire again, a little harder this time. “I will accept a dog- as long as it’s a golden retriever.”</p><p>“Of course that’s your favorite dog.” Ronan rolled his eyes. </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adam asked, unsure if it was an insult or compliment from the animal expert.</p><p>“Nothing, it suits you. It’s simple, smart and self-sufficient- all the s’s.” Ronan shrugged with a chuckle.</p><p>“What’s <em>your</em> favourite dog?” Adam asked, bumping his shoulder against the other boy playfully.</p><p>“Pit-bull.”</p><p>“Strong, loyal and secretly sweet, it suits you.” Adam teased, though he meant every word. Ronan had a layer of bastard to keep away people not worthy of being near him, but as you peeled the layers away you got bombarded by a thoughtful and pure person. Adam was the complete opposite. Most people believed he was kind and polite but truly he was a monster and it had nothing to do with his species. </p><p>“Shut up, nerd,” Ronan pushed his shoulder to stop Adam from seeing the slight blush spreading around his pale face.</p><p>They had to queue for a little bit to get into the sea lion show, apparently it was really popular, but neither boy seemed to mind as they teased each other and fooled around. When they sat down finally Ronan was practically bouncing out his seat in anticipation.</p><p>“Mom and Dad used to take us here all the time. Sometimes a random person would be picked to go out and get a kiss from one of the sea lions. I used to cry because it was never me.” Ronan told him with a small pout. He then went on to talk about how he tried to get his Dad to bribe the Aquarium to choose Ronan for the sea lion kiss but they wouldn’t allow it. Maybe that was the day Ronan learned money couldn’t buy him everything, a lesson Gansey had never learned.</p><p>“Should I be jealous of your determination to kiss a sea lion?” Adam asked with a laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, totally, I would sell you for a sea lion kiss.” Ronan nodded with a straight face.</p><p>Ronan was disappointed once again when a child was brought out to get a slimy, fish tainted kiss from the animal. Not even a kiss from Adam cheered him up.</p><p>After a few more tours around the tanks to put Ronan in a better mood the boys headed home from their date. It was the first date Adam had ever planned and despite the smell and the crab touching, he was left in a state of euphoria.</p><p>“Wait, are we going to Monmouth?” Ronan asked, looking out the slightly dirty passenger window of Adam’s car.</p><p>“Yes, because this is a date and I am a gentleman.” Adam smirked, quoting Ronan from their first date.</p><p>“Parrish, I’ve been staying at your shit apartment almost every night since our first date.” Ronan groaned, hitting his head on the window to get Adam’s attention despite knowing Adam was a good driver and wouldn’t take his eyes off of the road.</p><p>When Adam parked in front of Monmouth Ronan didn’t turn to look at him, he kept his head rested on the window and said nothing.</p><p>“What’s up?” Adam asked, reaching over to touch the boys shoulder. “You can stay at mine if you want. Honestly I just thought it would be weird for your brothers to show up at church and you’re already there.” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood to no avail.</p><p>“It’s not that.” Ronan whispered, sounding too broken for someone who had just been on a date that they seemed to enjoy.</p><p>“What’s wrong, Ronan? You can tell me.” Adam said softly as he used his thumb to rub circles into his boyfriends shoulder, hoping it would prompt him to release whatever he was so worked up about.</p><p>“I need to tell you something and you need to promise not to freak out or look at me differently.” Ronan said, still refusing to meet Adam’s eyes.</p><p>“I promise.” Adam nodded. He went to grab Ronan’s hand but the vampire moved it out of Adam’s reach immediately. It was in that moment Adam knew whatever secret was about to come out was going to change everything.</p><p>“Just over two months ago it was the anniversary of my Dad’s death. I wanted to be near someone who felt what I was feeling so I went to visit my Mom but she was really unresponsive that day. Declan was never close to him and Matthew’s too young and innocent to feel the sort of pain I felt that day.” With each sentence Ronan moved his eyes an inch towards Adam, working his way up to finale of this secret. Adam felt a twinge of pain in his heart, part of him felt like he knew what was coming, like he had always known how broken Ronan was. Ronan continued, his eyes almost at Adam’s as he spoke. “I realized that I was the only person who missed him that much. No one felt what I felt. I felt <em>so</em> alone, Adam. I went to St Agnes to be myself, how ironic that you would be so close to me in that moment and I never even knew.” He laughed though there was no humor or amusement in his voice. His eyes looked empty, it terrified Adam.</p><p>“Ronan, I’m here.” Adam told the boy, placing his hand on Ronan’s knee and giving it a squeeze.</p><p>Ronan finally allowed his eyes to fix onto Adam’s. He swallowed and heaved a breath. “One thing led to another, honestly I don’t even know how it happened, but I slit my wrist. Gansey found me just in time.”</p><p>Adam slapped a hand over his mouth as he let out a gasp. He pulled at his lip to stop the sound of a cry getting out and making Ronan feel even worse than he looked in that moment. Ronan looked at his wrist strangely, as if it had wronged him, and pulled his leather bracelets off to reveal a large, thick scar. Adam knew he had caught sight of the scar before, his brain played it off as trick of the light but a small voice in the back of his head always cried at it, always knew what it was.</p><p>“You promised you wouldn’t look at me differently.” Ronan said in a small voice as a tear build up in his eye. He closed his eyes with a sigh and the tear fell down his cheek. Adam reached over and swiped it away.</p><p>“I promised too soon.” Adam said with a small smile. “It’s changed how I look at you because it’s made me realize how strong you are. How special you are.” He said, brushing his hand against Ronan’s cheek.</p><p>“Don’t,” Ronan whispered, though he leaned in to Adam’s touch.</p><p>“You have so many emotions inside of you. I’ve never truly felt happiness until I met you. You make me want to be a better person Ronan.” Adam said as he leaned forward to press a kiss on Ronan’s cheek. The vampire turned round to catch Adam’s lips with his. Adam could taste the salty liquid of tears flow down Ronan’s face and pulled him towards his chest, Ronan’s face buried into Adam’s neck as he cried.</p><p>They stayed in the car like that for a while, sharing emotions and compassion and learning from each other. When Ronan had calmed down enough to leave the car he spoke three words to Adam and Adam repeated them easily and truthfully.  </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Tomorrow would be the end. The world was no longer allowed to hurt Ronan Lynch, it had years of torturing him and any more could break him to no return. Tomorrow the truth was going to come out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so bad at writing sad things, my apologies. Anyway! We're getting close to the end now ;o</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Forgive me for I have sinned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry guys, this is what you were all afraid of ;O</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of gentle but persistent knocking on wood woke Adam up on Sunday morning. He ignored it at first, like he did with most of his problems, but the noise never diminished and he eventually swung his legs off the bed and stood up. His groggy, half asleep brain feared the knocker to be Kavinsky but after slightly reasoning and a sniff of the air he knew it was Ronan, and coffee.</p><p>The door budged with every knock but was seemingly pulled back in place each time, Ronan wanted to wake him gently instead of breaking in through his wrecked door. Adam had meant to fix the door already but things kept getting in the way and considering what he was going to do today a lock wouldn’t be able to save his life when Kavinsky eventually came for him.</p><p>He reached for his fangs and contacts and got vamped up in record speed for an incredibly sleepy wolf. When he opened the door he instantly grabbed for the coffee with a stronger smell, Ronan liked his with enough sugar to kill a diabetic.</p><p>“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Ronan sang annoyingly as he walked into the dingy apartment and placed his coffee on Adam’s desk along with a neatly hung up suit.</p><p>Adam replied with an unintelligent noise and began to drain the coffee, trying to pretend he couldn’t taste the shot of plasma in it. Caffeine still worked no matter what it was tainted with.</p><p>“Can I have my kiss yet, Mr Grumpy?” Ronan asked with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>Adam placed his half empty coffee down and reached over to place his lips onto Ronan’s. He knew that would be the last time he could kiss Ronan and he wondered absentmindedly who would be next. Who would Ronan bring coffee to, who would he leave presents for, who would he allow so close to him as their bodies melt together and they become one.</p><p>“You know the whole point of you staying at Monmouth last night was so you’re brothers don’t think we’re doing anything up here.” Adam said as he pulled away. He kept his face close to Ronan’s, making sure he could remember the way he was allowed to be close to the vampire.</p><p>“Let them think what they want.” Ronan simply shrugged before pulling his boyfriend back towards him for another kiss, this time one that was longer and rougher. Would Ronan’s next love be able to handle the switch from soft to rough so easily? Would they crave all the different sides of Ronan Lynch just like Adam did?</p><p>Adam bit down gently on Ronan’s bottom lip before pulling away. “This isn’t Catholic behaviour.” He smirked at the boy.</p><p>“Ah, but you never read the bible, did you Parrish?” Ronan asked with an identically cheeky grin. “This is how Jesus hyped up his disciples.”</p><p>Adam laughed, “I highly doubt that.”</p><p>Ronan shrugged his shoulders before picking up the abandoned suit and handing it to Adam. Before Adam could argue Ronan placed a hand over the werewolf’s mouth. “It’s not new. It’s Gansey’s old suit and if you don’t believe me you can check his instagram where he wore it to his mother’s last ball. He was going to bin it anyway- he can’t be an outfit repeater that’s <em>scandalous.</em>” Ronan said as Adam licked his hand in an attempt to gross out the other boy, it didn’t work and Adam could taste petrol from when Ronan had last filled up his car.</p><p>Adam shrugged his shoulders and, hand still over his mouth, grabbed for the suit. Ronan grinned, clearly elated at such easy victory. Adam didn’t see the point in arguing, it was the last time Ronan could give him a gift and he didn’t want to make it an unhappy experience, he wanted the calm before the storm. The storm that was coming would be catastrophic.</p><p>He changed into the suit in the bathroom and calmed down his bed-head whilst he was at it. The suit was a professional looking black silky material and it fit him too well to be made for Gansey, Ronan knew Adam was practically allergic to the ways of social media and wouldn’t bother checking Instagram for proof that the suit used to be a Richard Gansey possession.   </p><p>When Adam exited the bathroom to show Ronan the suit he noticed that their ties were a matching color of olive green. Ronan expected him to believe that he and Gansey had matching ties.</p><p>“Okay,” Ronan mused, taking in the sight of Adam. “Now, take it off.” He purred.</p><p>Adam choked on his own spit at the bluntness of Ronan’s advances. “Stop it.” He groaned, slapping the boy on the shoulder as he walked towards his coffee and took a long drink, hoping the cup would block his furious blush.</p><p>“I’m going to be the envy of all the holy bitches today.” Ronan announced with a wicked grin and menacing cackle. “Barbara thinks she’s so cool with her knitted snowmen? Well I have a hot boyfriend- take that Babs!”</p><p>“Again, not catholic behavior.” Adam chastised playfully.</p><p>“Wait till you meet Barbara and I’ll seem like the holiest catholic you’ve ever met.” Ronan told him with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.</p><p>“If she can make me one of those snowmen maybe I’ll leave you for her.” Adam taunted, jabbing a finger into the back of Ronan’s neck to make him squeal.</p><p>Ronan clawed at his heart dramatically. “Come on, Babs can’t have all the fun in life.”</p><p>Ronan dragged him downstairs and into the church building. Adam had been in the church a couple of times since he moved to St Agnes but never during a ceremony. He was surprised by the differences in ages and appearances and even more surprised by the way the old ladies seemed to adore Ronan Lynch.</p><p>“How’s it going Barbara, your knee’s still giving you trouble?” Ronan asked an old lady with a scowl that would scare even the toughest man. She reeked of decaying human but her eyes held so much fire.</p><p>“No more than you are, pest.” She grumbled but reached forward to give Ronan’s shaved head a small pet. “The cream you gave me last week’s been doing the job, truth be told.” She added with a wink, the action was strange on her moody face.</p><p>“Old family recipe.” Ronan shrugged with a small smile. “This is my boyfriend, Adam Parrish.” He told the women, grabbing Adam by the elbow and throwing him forward to the old shark.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Ma’am.”  Adam smiled, reaching his hand forward despite his fear of the women.</p><p>She raised an eyebrow. “Homosexuality is a sin.”</p><p>Adam faltered slightly but kept his hand reached out as the women looked him up and down, taking in his whole appearance.</p><p>Ronan let out a loud cackle. “I’m sure your wife loves when you say that.”</p><p>Barbara opened her mouth and bared her teeth in a smile. “We don’t shake hands in this church, my boy, we hug.” She told him before reaching forward and pulling him into a tight embrace. “Dear lord, you are very skinny. Get him some fattier blood.” She hissed at Ronan as she eventually let him go from her hold.</p><p>“Not how it works, Babs.” Ronan rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I don’t care, find a way.” She retorted. “Take care of pretty little Adam before someone swoops him up- like me.” She threatened as she lightly cuffed the vampire on the back of the head before moving towards a group of middle aged women.</p><p>“Old bitch.” Ronan muttered at her retreating wobbling body.</p><p>Adam slapped him on the shoulder and looked towards the women, fearing that she would hear and come back and slap them with one of her famous snowmen. Ronan widened his mouth into a large smile, he seemed so carefree and innocent in the church despite the fact this was home to one of his darkest moments. Adam couldn’t help but flinch every time he saw a dark stain on one of the church’s benches, for all he knew they were littered with Ronan’s blood.</p><p>“Are you giving Barbara trouble again, Ronan?” A cool voice asked from behind them. <br/><br/>Adam let out a terribly loud squeal, he had been too busy admiring Ronan’s relaxed body to hear the Lynch brothers approach them. Declan stood in front of him with a proud stance and an even prouder designer suit whilst Matthew bounces on his feet and fiddled with a sloppily arranged tie.</p><p>“Hi, Adam it’s good to see you again!” Matthew grinned and he wrapped his hands around the older boy in a quick hug. Adam tensed as the same smell of werewolf, vampire and starvation flew over him, at such a close proximity Matthew should be able to detect the wolf from Adam but he gave no recognition. Matthew was either a naive pup with no sense of smell, or he believed in secrets being a personal burden.</p><p>Adam was half-scared Declan would abide by the rules of church that Barbara made and also drag him into a hug but thankfully the only acknowledgment he gave Adam was a professional smile and nod.</p><p>“It’s Barbara who gives <em>me</em> trouble.” Ronan grumbled as they made their way to one of the church benches. Adam ended up trapped in the middle between Ronan and Matthew. If the vampire pup did have a weak nose the long service with his nose right next to Adam was going to lead to an interesting discovery. It wouldn’t matter much anyway, Adam only had a couple hours left of his lie, but he wanted to be the one to tell Ronan the truth so he tried his best to keep out of conversation with the youngest Lynch.</p><p>Despite the fact Adam had no belief of religion and also no qualms about his sexuality he felt uneasy when Ronan grabbed his hand during the service. Growing up his Father had dragged Adam to church most Sunday’s to hear all about the abomination of homosexuality. He was force fed hatred of his sexuality that only disappeared when he finally escaped his Father’s grip. So when Ronan displayed their love for each other in a holy place he felt almost disrespectful, but then the man up front began to speak of love and acceptance for all and Adam released that not all religion was the same. He thought of moody Barbara and her wife, Declan and all his wealth, Matthew and all his confusing scents and Ronan with his harsh exterior but soft romantic nature. Adam still didn’t believe in religion but he believed in St Agnes church and its goers.</p><p>He didn’t listen to most of the service, he couldn’t really keep up with what was being said, but he enjoyed the calming atmosphere and all its warmth. It helped him feel prepared for what he was about to do.</p><p>“Ronan are you coming with us?” Declan asked when the service ended.</p><p>“Nah,” Ronan gestured to the ceiling where Adam’s apartment, and a whole lot of trauma, waited for them.</p><p>“Alright, well, just be safe you two.” Declan said with a stern nod</p><p>Adam raised an eyebrow at the older boy, confused on how he knew about the broken lock on his door.</p><p>Declan ground his fangs against his bottom teeth for a few moments, as though he was debating his next move, before he spoke to the boys. “I know that neither one of you can get pregnant but there are other...unfortunate situations.” He told them slowly with clear discomfort.</p><p>Ronan stared at his brother for a few moments, unsure on if he understood what was happening. “Declan, shut the fuck up.” He hissed, grabbing on to Adam and dragging him away before the conversation could develop.</p><p>Matthew yelled a goodbye at their retreating figures and Adam managed a quick wave as he was maneuvered out of the church and up to his apartment.</p><p>“Thanks for coming today, Parrish.” Ronan mumbled lowly, almost as if he didn’t actually want Adam to hear. He sat down on Adam’s creaking bed and leaned his back against the wall. The sight of the vampire so relaxed and content staggered him, he was about to destroy everything.</p><p>If Ronan had never sat beside him in Latin that day would everything have worked out differently? Would Kavinsky throw Ronan away and search for another toy leaving the two boys to migrate together in different circumstances. Ronan and Adam could fall in love with clear consciences. Adam could join Blue’s pack and gain his strength back.  Everything could have been perfect if Tad Carruthers got to class in time to save his seat beside Adam.</p><p>“You alright, Parrish?” Ronan asked, leaning forward on the bed and making the structure creak. “Adam? What’s wrong?”</p><p>The tears came quickly, perhaps they even started as he walked up to his apartment, they coated his cheeks and ran down his chin to pollute his borrowed suit. “I have to tell you something.” He said.</p><p>“Sit down, Adam.” Ronan said, rubbing the space beside him.</p><p>Adam shook his head, tears flying as he moved. He rubbed at his eyes to dry them for a moment and then slipped the contacts out, the fangs were removed next. Ronan was as still as stone.</p><p>“I wanted a good education. I <em>needed</em> Aglionby.” Said Adam, his voice faltering as the abundance of tears brought on an ugly hiccuping cry. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”</p><p>Ronan’s body remained still as he opened his mouth to speak. “Adam, what are you talking about?”</p><p>The hiccuping cries were getting worse and he didn’t think he could manage a sentence so he rustled up some energy to elongate his teeth and prompt his eyes to shine their silver color of truth. It took a lot of energy to reveal himself, his wolf wanted to refuse it, both he and his wolf were miserable and the look on Ronan’s face demanded comfort, not aggression.</p><p>“Is this a joke? Because of my Mom you’re pretending to be a werewolf?” Ronan asked, shaking his head, he knew himself that was a stretch.</p><p>Adam sighed and moved forward to reach under his pillow, he tried his hardest not to crumble when he noticed Ronan flinch away from him. He brought out the knife Kavinsky had left in his leg not too long ago and quickly slashed a line into his palm. The scent of blood filled the room instantly, making it even more claustrophobic and uncomfortable.</p><p>Ronan eyes widened as he detected the animalistic scent in the blood.</p><p>“Joseph Kavinsky found out my secret a few weeks ago and he threatened me with it. He said he was going to tell everyone and my dad if I didn’t so something for him. He checks up on me all the time, this is his knife, he left it in my leg the first time he jumped me.” Adam stumbled through the time line of his horrible life, he took a breath after every single world because it felt like he couldn’t take enough air into his lungs.</p><p>“What did he want you to do for him, Adam?” Ronan asked, refusing to meet his eyes, knowing it wouldn’t be good. It was common knowledge that life got messy when Kavinsky involved himself. <br/><br/>“He wanted me to break your heart so that you would rebound with him.” Adam mumbled, the salty tears entering his mouth and clogging his throat from getting the breaths he needed. “This is me saying no to him. I’m not doing that. It’s over.” He pleaded.</p><p>“It’s over.” Ronan repeated simply as he got up from the bed and barged past Adam, rocking into his shoulder and pushing him backwards with full vampire power. Adam smacked into the wall, his shoulder throbbing, but he didn’t have time to dust himself off, he ran after Ronan.</p><p>“Ronan wait, let me explain.” Adam grabbed the vampires shoulder and pulled him around to face him.</p><p>His pale skin almost hid it but Adam could see and smell the tears dripping down the vampires face.</p><p>“Explain what Adam? That you <em>used</em> me. That you were basically <em>giving me away</em> to Joseph Kavinsky.”</p><p>“No that’s not-”</p><p>“That you waited until I told you my darkest secret until you told me the truth!” He screamed, pointing his finger against Adam’s chest and pressing forward, probably wishing it was a knife. For all his bad reputation Adam had never been scared of Ronan Lynch until that moment. His eyes were wild with justified fury and his hands twitched with the urge of violence. He was a picture of hostility.</p><p>Adam attempted to reach for Ronan’s face with his cupped hands but was batted away with severity. “Ronan please that’s not what I meant to do!” </p><p>“I hope you and Kavinsky are happy with yourselves. Mission accomplished.” Ronan laughed, pushing Adam’s body away from him for the last time.</p><p>Adam watched as Ronan Lynch and his broken heart left the church. And then, he crumpled to the ground and clutched at his own broken heart, willing it to get stronger, to beat faster.</p><p>The only thing that soothed him and allowed him to catch his breath was the knowledge that he wouldn’t feel this way soon. He defied Joseph Kavinsky and without anyone to help him he was going to die for it.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm very sorry, all I can say is it'll get better.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Retaliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last time Adam had the chance to stay in bed all day was when he caught a nasty bug, age 10. Now age 17 he finished his call with the receptionist at Aglionby explaining his absence on Monday, he faked light food poisoning but in reality he simply needed one last day of being held together before Kavinsky ripped him apart. As he listened to the clock tick on he remembered that last bed day. He couldn’t keep a single substance down but he desperately kept all his cries and childlike pain inside. His mother cared for him, she ruffled a hand through his thick hair, rubbed a cold towel over his sweat soaked head, and lay down with him when he became restless. She enjoyed the way he became as weak as she was.</p><p>Adam felt a ghost shiver on his back in the shape of his Mother, whom he hadn’t seen in almost a year. It made him feel physically sick. He forced himself out of bed before he could remember any more childhood trauma.</p><p>His present trauma wasn’t any better. He stared at the ground, half surprised there was no curled up vampire snoozing away on it. It hit him right then, how lonely he has always been and forever would be.</p><p>The apartment was becoming a claustrophobic torture chamber full of memories and reminders so he gave Boyd a quick call and pretended Aglionby had one of their rich boy days off so that he could pop into the shop for a few hours of sweet distraction. Boyd was either rushed off his feet or could hear the hitch in Adam’s voice because he agreed to a four hour shift instantly. Adam arrived early and left late, but he eventually managed to force himself back home, it wasn’t fair to make Boyd pay him for a mental breakdown.</p><p>Adam walked back into his apartment, gave the vampire on his bed a quick nod, and went to pour himself a glass of coke. “Afternoon,” He mumbled.</p><p>Kavinsky held onto one of Adam’s bowls that he had filled with cereal, he lifted the spoon to his mouth and slurped the milk. “Howdy, puppy.” He grinned.</p><p>Adam had expected this, he expected it to come a little later but Kavinsky seemed to function on a different clock than others so he had been prepared none the less. “Shouldn’t you be in class?” Adam asked as he took a long gulp of the fizzy drink. He turned around and saw a bowl flying towards him, he ducked just in time for it to miss his eye but it crashed into the side of his head and he felt it pulse through his skull. “Not a fan of my cereal?” Adam growled, his fangs elongating and shattering the fangs he had put on to go to work.</p><p>“My little birdies told me he left here yesterday, face wet and eyes angry.” Kavinsky said as he stood up and advanced towards Adam.</p><p>“Yeah, he did. I think he was a bit annoyed with our agreement.” Adam growled.</p><p>“What game are you playing, <em>dog?</em>” Kavinsky smirked.</p><p>“I’m not playing anymore, Kavinsky. I’m done with this. So, do your worst.” Adam suggested as he flew forward. Kavinsky hadn’t been expecting this sort of reaction so it was easy for Adam to push him to the floor and dig his claws into the soft flesh of the vampire’s thighs. Kavinsky’s eyes widened and his fangs glistered at Adam in rage.</p><p>“Adam, are you finally playing with me?” Kavinsky sang. He moved his head backwards slowly and then slammed it into Adam’s forehead, the impact threw him backwards. Kavinsky was up in a single moment and grabbed onto Adam’s shirt before throwing him into the wall. Adam landed on the floor in a heap but he didn’t give himself the time to think about the throbbing state his back was in after that, he flew at Kavinsky again. He knew he was slower this time, his energy was low and his emotions worse, Kavinsky caught him with ease and threw him back against the wall. This time Adam stayed down for a moment, his whole body was pulsing with pain, he could hear it as loudly as his heartbeat. </p><p>“Can’t you hear, Joseph? I said I’m done playing with you.” Adam growled from the floor. Kavinsky burst into cackling laughter as he watched the werewolf’s unstable effort to get up from the ground. After a few attempts he managed it on shaky feet and grabbed onto his desk for support.</p><p>With classic vampire speed Kavinsky whipped something shiny out from his pocket and flicked it towards Adam, the knife traveled with insane power and buried itself into Adam’s shoulder and his wall, pinning the two together.</p><p>Kavinsky walked towards him and Adam was awarded with the sight of his handiwork. For once, Kavinsky hadn’t gotten out of trouble untouched. The vampire stuck out his tongue to wipe the blood dripping from his broken nose. “The games haven’t even started, little wolf.” He bared his bloody teeth in a grin before leaving.</p><p>Adam let out a loud grunt as he pulled the knife from his shoulder. The blade was long and sharp, he put it under his pillow with the other knife he had kept and thought about the sweet irony of burying Kavinsky's own knife into the vampires skin. </p><p>A bright bruise was already forming on his head around a wide gash caused by the bowl, his shoulder was dripping blood onto the floor and his legs felt as though they were about to drop any second. And yet, he ignored all of that to take out his contacts. He debated flushing them down the toilet, along with his life, but instead put them back in their case. There was some chance his life wasn't completely over yet and he gripped to the chance fiercely. </p><p>The blood began to slow and his skin started the promise of resealing as he started to clean his apartment. Pieces of the bowl had shattered everywhere and drops of Kavinsky’s blood littered his cheap rug. He was tempted to keep the rug as a badge of honor for finally growing a spine but he knew it would begin to smell so he started to roll it up for removal when he heard footsteps entering his apartment.</p><p>“Kavinsky I swear to god!” He growled, dropping the bloodied rug and turning to the intruder. His nose was so preoccupied with the abundance of blood littering his apartment he couldn't pick out the scent of Richard Gansey inviting himself in. </p><p>“Adam! Are you okay?” He yelled. </p><p>“I’m fine.” Adam said. In truth Adam didn’t think he had ever been fine.</p><p>“You’re bleeding.” Gansey pointed towards Adam’s shoulder as if the injury had gone unnoticed. He took a step towards Adam and then faltered, raising a hand to his mouth. “It’s true.”</p><p>Adam figured he meant the werewolf blood and nodded. And then he said, “I’m sorry.”, because if Gansey knew about his genetics he also knew about his deception.</p><p>Gansey shook his head, “You lied to us all.”</p><p>“I did.” Adam nodded. He didn’t feel inclined to say any more than that because there was no point. He <em>had</em> lied and he hadn’t felt sorry about it until the very end. Nothing he could say would make that better.</p><p>Wordlessly Gansey entered his bathroom and came back with the first aid kit, motioning for Adam to sit down he began to inspect the wounds.</p><p>“I heal fast.” Adam tried to wave the vampire off but was met with silence.</p><p>Gansey patched him up with bandages and butterfly stitches and blank stares. “Don’t mistake this as me being okay with you, Adam.” He said when he finished.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Maybe you needed more trips to Cabeswater because what you did was really inhuman.” Gansey continued whilst messing around with the pieces of the broken bowl, he probably meant to help with the clean up but hands like those didn’t know how to clean, they only knew how to pay the cleaners.</p><p>Adam trailed after Gansey, picking up the shards of bowl Gansey’s rich eyes glossed over. “I know.”</p><p>“Kavinsky’s going to tell everyone at school.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Gansey flipped his body round to face Adam and dropped the pieces of bowl he had been holding, they shattered into even smaller pieces. “For god’s sake Adam can you have a proper conversation with me! Do you even understand what you’ve done?” He asked in a hiss as he pointed a perfectly smooth finger towards Adam’s bleeding body.</p><p>“What do you want me to say Gansey? That I’m sorry? That I regret what I did and will hate myself forever because of it? It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done and believe me I’m going to pay for it so don’t you worry about me getting out of this unscratched.” Adam yelled and threw his own pieces of bowl to the side. It didn’t matter anyway, he wouldn’t be living here much longer and the mess would be taken care of by the next sad piece of shit that lived there. Hopefully they knew better than to act like a monster when living above a church.</p><p>The two boys stared at each other for a moment, both breathing as harshly as their circulatory systems allowed, and Adam noticed how Gansey’s eyes changed. He used to look at Adam as though he was a summer’s day, encouraging the growth of nature and the triumph of life. But now he looked at Adam as though he was a winter’s night, deadly to the unprotected living.</p><p>“Was everything fake?” Gansey asked him after a while.</p><p>Adam shook his head but Gansey wasn’t content with the non verbal answer. “It started out fake but you all made me feel so...wanted. I couldn’t help but fall for you all. You treated me like someone worth wanting. Noah made me feel like someone worth making smile. Ronan...I fell for him harder than I thought I ever could. That’s why I’m covered in blood, that’s why I’ walking to my death tomorrow. Because I refused to hurt him anymore than I already did. So no, Gansey, not everything was fake.” Adam finished in a rush, scared if he continued spilling his heart it would stop beating.</p><p>Gansey stood up and brushed dirt and bowl fragments off his expensive pants. “Then fix it.” He said, like it was the easiest thing in the word, and then left.</p><p>Adam pulled his legs out from under him and lay down on the ground. He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, it was near impossible to fix what he had done to Ronan but if there was any chance of getting slight redemption Adam needed to try. It was going to be a lot of work to avoid getting murdered so he could fix his mistake. He needed to create a plan for it but first, Adam just wanted to cry so he lay on his floor and let the tears take hold of him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There is about 6 chapters left :)<br/>I'll try my best to get them all done fast but with college and work it might be a couple months.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Is it too late</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rumors crashed into Aglionby halls like the tide coming in every day but it took proof to turn a rumor into a truth. Or at least that's what Adam told himself as he stood at the doors of Aglionby Academy with fake contacts and fake fangs holding tightly on to his deception. The probability that Kavinsky hadn’t ripped out a link in his chain of lies was very low but it wasn’t impossible. Ronan Lynch had surprised him with kindness perhaps even Joseph Kavinsky had a softer side that stopped him from going through with his plans.</p><p>The first few steps he took were as average as any other day he had had as a student at Aglionby but as he traveled further into the building he felt the familiar coolness of a blade come at him from the left and slit a line across his hand. In a matter of seconds every set of eyes and every pair of nostrils were locked on to Adam’s bleeding wrist.</p><p>“It’s true! He’s a wolf!” A student a few years younger than Adam yelled with surprising glee to a group of boys. The boys face evolved into a mix of disgust and surprise before they let out an eruption of laughter. He turned to Adam with a sneer. “Don’t look so pitiful, <em>dog,</em> you’ll heal soon.”</p><p>Adam hadn’t realized he was wearing a pitiful look until the boy said so and the trembling of his body became apparent. He had been so caught up in the corruption of Joseph Kavinsky that he forgot the majority of the population could do monstrous things. His body moved quickly, shaking of the shock of the attack and pushing through the crowd of students towards the bathroom. He grabbed some toilet paper from an empty stall and used it to wipe blood from the cut. It was a weak attempt at a wound, nothing compared to Adam’s past infliction's, and would heal in an hour or so but it was the worst wound he had ever gotten- it had ended the life he worked for. The red liquid glistering on his hand alerted every vampire in the vicinity that Adam was worthless and consequently a target.</p><p>“What’s the time little wolf?” A voice called from the stall next to him.</p><p>Adam exited the stall, knowing the weak door offered him no safety, and was greeted by three boys he vaguely knew to be Kavinsky’s friends. “Time for me to go,” Adam shrugged as he chanced the journey towards the door.</p><p>The biggest of the three grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him against the wall with laugh. Adam got up instantly despite the crying pain of his back and regarded the boys with a bored expression. When his attacker revealed to him a large blade Adam couldn’t help but laugh. “Isn’t Kavinsky running out of knives?” He asked with a smirk. “He always leaves them when he visits me.”</p><p>“Shut up, <em>dog.</em>” The big one growled as he slashed the knife across Adam’s cheek, creating a line of burning fire.</p><p>Adam didn’t react to the wound, he simply let the blood run down his cheek and onto his uniform. If by some miracle he was permitted to wear the uniform again he would wear the bloodied thing as a badge of indifference. He would forever be known as the schools dog but it was better to hold his head high than have his tail between his legs. </p><p>The boy raised the knife again but faltered when the bathroom door slammed open and three figured ran in, almost breathless. Ronan, Gansey and Noah had either came to join the show or help close the curtains and Adam wasn’t sure it was even that black and white.</p><p>“Knock it off, Prokopenko.” Ronan hissed at the boy.</p><p>Prokopenko laughed, knife still threatening to cut Adam. “Didn’t expect you to come to his rescue Lynch.”</p><p>“Don’t expect to understand me, Prokopenko. It’ll never work.”</p><p>The side of Adam’s mouth tilted up in a smile. He had expected Ronan to ignore his existence completely after the heartbreak he had caused. Even after all those late night talks, confessions and tears, Adam didn’t know the enigma of Ronan Lynch. He gave out confusion like a gift.</p><p>“Now run along to K, and when you see him tell him something for me will you?” Ronan asked with a shark-like grin. Adam was reminded of the old Ronan in that moment, the Ronan he was slightly afraid of.</p><p>Prokopenko replied with an equally heated grin, “Sure, Ronan, what words do you have for him?”</p><p>“Tell him to roll over into his grave before I shove him into it.”</p><p>The three boys laughed but it was clear Ronan told no joke. Prokopenko nodded his head towards the door and the two boys exited the bathroom immediately, it became clear that Prokopenko was something of a second in command for Kavinsky. He knocked his shoulder into Gansey’s as he passed and his face lit up when it got a hostile reaction from Ronan.</p><p>“Don’t break the dog, Lynch, Kavinsky wants the honors.” He said with a smirk, the door closing behind him but his threat staying in the room making its way to Adam’s throat, closing it off from air.</p><p>“Are you okay Adam?” Noah asked him. His legs twitched as though he wanted to run to Adam but knew where his loyalty lay.</p><p>Adam wanted to answer Noah and set his worries at ease but he was too enticed by Ronan’s wild eyes and clutched fists. He stared back at Adam, taking one breath for every five Adam took.</p><p>“Leave us alone for a minute will you.” Ronan asked his friends.</p><p>“Ronan...” Gansey warned him but it was too late, Ronan was already walking towards the boy who broke his heart. Noah tugged on the sleeve of Gansey’s blazer and guided him towards the door. “Be careful.” Gansey said as a last warning, it wasn’t clear who it was directed at.</p><p>When they were left alone Ronan threw his backpack to the floor and began to rummage through it with angry movements and ragged eyes. Adam stayed completely still, terrified that one wrong move would set the vampire off. After some huffing around Ronan pulled out a small but well packed first aid kit and gestured for Adam to sit up on the bathroom sink so they could easily be eye level. Without speaking Ronan began to bandage Adam up. He had every right to be livid but his motions where gentle and smooth, he didn’t want to do any harm to Adam. The softness of Ronan’s cool skin against his cheeks caused his eyes to begin leaking. Ronan brushed away the tears before they could land on the fresh plaster over his cheek wound.</p><p>“Some part of me always knew.” Ronan whispered when he was finished. “Your skin is always warm.” He said, his hand laid still on Adam’s tear stained cheek. He brushed it back and forth on his cheek, forgetting the rage he should be feeling. “You breathe way too much. Whenever you get angry you get this...faraway look like you’re trying to talk someone down.”</p><p>Adam couldn’t think of any words in the human dictionary that could describe the regret and despair he felt so he leaned into Ronan’s hand and attempted to push the severity of his emotions onto Ronan’s skin.</p><p>“You can’t come back to school again, Adam.” Ronan mumbled.</p><p>Adam flinched and pushed himself off the bathroom sink and away from the cool comfort of Ronan’s skin. “Are you disgusted that everyone knows you were in love with a wolf?” He asked.</p><p>“That’s not it, you selfish <em>bastard</em>. I don’t want to see you get hurt every day- I can’t physically stomach that, Adam, because I <em>love</em> you.” Ronan snapped, stomping closer to Adam until the werewolves back was against the wall. “But you don’t love me, you led me on for weeks so you owe me this, Parrish.” He hissed between his teeth.</p><p>Adam’s wolf howled inside of him. He poked his finger against Ronan’s shoulder and pushed him back. “Oh, fuck <em>you,</em> Ronan. Do you really think after all the work I’ve put into school I ruined it all simply because I felt <em>guilty?</em> You’re not that fucking blind Ronan. I came clean because I love you and didn’t want to keep hurting you.” He yelled. Ronan didn’t brush off the tears that streamed down his face this time.</p><p>The two boys stared at each other for a moment. Each had done the other wrong at some point but resentment was a foreign concept between them. It felt like hours of teary staring passed before Ronan walked towards the door.</p><p>“I can’t believe a single word you say anymore, Parrish.” He said, his face turned towards the door so Adam could not see him. “But if any of that is remotely true then you’ll go home. Because I can’t protect you all day, and I can’t see any more of your blood.”</p><p>Since the very start his education and Ronan Lynch were entwined, he could only advance in life if he successfully balanced both of them with great results, though he knew now that he had been a terrible juggler. Coming clean with his secret meant choosing one over the other. Ronan would soon look around the halls of Aglionby and realize that Adam had chosen him.</p><p>Class had started by the time Adam chose to leave school but some vampires still stalked through the halls and glared daggers at him as he made his hasty exit. He didn’t feel any safer at home- in fact the silent apartment sent chills through his body. Only an extensive scent search through the whole apartment quietened his nerves.</p><p>He sat down at his desk and attempted to get some studying done. It was a fruitless action considering his school career was now ruined but it made him feel more at ease than he had in a long time. The painful repetition of his history notes had just begun to irate him when he was interrupted by a knock on his door.</p><p>“If that’s the grim reaper I’m not ready just yet.” He yelled, knowing who it was already by their strong scent. He didn’t invite her in but the door was broken and he had never been very good at keeping unwanted guests out.</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be at school?” Blue asked him as she invited herself into his home. It took Adam a moment to realize this was the first time Blue had ever visited him, she barged past him and lounged on his bed as though she owned the place, refusing to exhibit any tension between them caused by his lies.</p><p>“If you’re here to beat me up go ahead, I won’t resist.” He told her.</p><p>Her choppy black hair flew in different directions as she shook her head. “I’m here as a friend.” She said.</p><p>“We were never really friends, Blue.” He let out a rough laugh and Blue’s face got sour.</p><p>“Fuck you,” She leaned forward as she growled at him, making sure he could see the tension in her face. “You may have kept some truth from me but I like the Adam I knew. I was his friend so can you bring him back please? The rude, bastard Adam in front of me is annoying.” She finished in a huff as she threw herself back against the wall.</p><p>Adam fidgeted with his hands as Blue continued to glare at him. Even after his time with the Monmouth Manufacturing boys he wasn’t used to this fierce and blind loyalty from people, especially someone like Blue who had a no nonsense attitude. He had given her an abundance of nonsense and she batted it away like a simple fly.</p><p>He settled against her, their elbows touching, and heaved out a loud breath. She seemed to relax against him as he spoke. “I’m not used to having friends.”</p><p>“Neither was I until I met them.” She admitted lowly, though he had always suspected she wasn’t great at socializing with her school peers.</p><p>Adam felt himself melt into Blue’s shoulder, resting his head in the crook of her neck. He didn’t feel embarrassed when he started to cry, maybe it was a wolf thing or maybe it was just an Adam and Blue thing but he trusted her completely and felt at ease beside her. “I don’t know who I am anymore.” He told her.</p><p>“Have you ever heard the expression ‘a friends eye is a good mirror’?” She asked as she smoothed his hair down. When she felt his head shake she continued, “It means you can learn who you are by seeing what a friend thinks of you. I know who you are, Adam. You’re a good person.”</p><p>“I hurt so many people.”</p><p>She shrugged her shoulder, causing him to sit up and look at her, her mouth was stretched into a small smile and her eyes were watery. “It’s not irreversible. You broke Ronan but you can build him back up. The world treats us like we’re monsters to the point it’s hard not to become one. I’ve done <em>monstrous</em> things, but my family and friends are here to make sure I don’t become a monster and they can do that for you too, Adam. You’ve got a place in my family pack, and you have a place in Gansey’s pack. You can fix this and do what’s right, and when you do we’ll be here for you.” She squeezed tightly onto his hands for a few moments until he stopped crying, and then she left him. He felt colder without her. He grabbed onto a pillow and pulled it close but it couldn’t replicate the contact he desired. It couldn’t replace what he needed in life.</p><p>He didn’t need education. He needed a pack, he needed friends, he needed Ronan.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>5 more chapters left ;o<br/>-<br/>I feel like this is getting less likes/comments that it did in the earlier stages and I don't know if that's a sign of my writing getting worse or if it's just one of those things but it's been getting to me and making me feel less excited about writing. Regardless, I'm going to get this fic finished don't worry!<br/>-<br/>As always kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Turning point</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam had been running his options through his head when his phone alerted him that Aglionby was calling. Headmaster Child’s voice was professional and emotionless when he answered and he didn’t invite much conversation from Adam, simply stating that he expected Adam to be in Latin class this morning as he couldn’t afford to miss any more lessons. Adam, a boy who aimed to please the authority figures in his life, agreed instantly and hung up after a polite goodbye. The rumors had no doubt reached the faculty of Aglionby by now and you couldn’t tell a student their partial scholarship was revoked via phone call, you needed to look into their decaying eyes before spitting on their dreams.</p><p>As promised Adam made it to his class with minutes to spare. Ronan had took his seat at the back off the class and rolled his eyes as Adam entered. Adam wished he would let him explain but there was no time and no safety in making unnecessary movements so he took his usual seat at the front of the class. Tad Carruthers sent him a sheepish glance as he took the chair beside him and dragged it to the side of a full table. No one wanted to be near the werewolf.</p><p>Writhing in the glares of all but one student Adam curled into his desk and tried to focus on the markings of the table to distract himself. He tried to hold himself high as they whispered and mocked him, some even spoke of the way he manipulated Ronan but none mentioned Kavinsky’s part in it.  He was called all sorts of names- dog, mutt, monster, mongrel- but the one that he felt go straight through him like a knife was ‘liar’.</p><p>He used to think lying was his special talent. Growing up he lied to his Father to escape a beating, he lied to his Mother to save her heart and he lied to himself so he could pretend he was important. He was so fond of lies that he forgot they weren’t a good thing. Even a white lie could become a weapon if wielded incorrectly.</p><p>Adam decided in that moment that he would spend whatever days he had left being truthful, no matter what sorrow the truth held.</p><p>The boys stopped their taunting of Adam when the door opened and Headmaster Child paid them a visit. He spent a good few minutes congratulating them on their scores on their latest test and letting them know they were setting a good example for others. His eyes seemed to bounce only between Adam and Ronan as he spoke, both boys had the best marks in Latin but he suspected the gaze was due to something else.</p><p>“May I borrow young Adam Parrish for the rest of class?” He asked their Latin teacher who nodded and dropped some notes onto Adam’s table for him to pack away. </p><p>The walk to the Headmasters office was silent bar the clipping of Child’s slightly heeled shoes and Adam’s rapid breathing. Child gestured for Adam to sit on the chair in front of his desk when they reached his office and Adam done so quickly, almost tripping over his own feet in the process.</p><p>“I except you know why you’re here, Adam.” Child asked him.</p><p>Adam did know, but he couldn’t find his voice to say so and settled with a nod.</p><p>“The rumors circling the halls have-”</p><p>Adam suddenly found his voice. “They’re not rumors, sir.”</p><p> Child raised an eyebrow at him but there was a quirk in his mouth. “I expected not.” He said. “I have an email for you to read Adam, don’t mind about the privacy of it all, I trust you.” He slid a print out over the desk towards Adam before clasping his hands together in anticipation.</p><p>Adam faulted for a moment, it wasn’t the direction he expected their meeting to be going, but eventually his eyes drifted through the page. He read it twice to make sure he hadn’t mistaken it and then he read it once more because he was <em>positive </em>he was somehow reading it wrong.</p><p>“I don’t understand.” He told Child.</p><p>The Headmasters smiled at him softly, it was a strange look on his usually stern face. “It’s been in the works for a while now, Adam, though we’ve been keeping it a secret. It’s my intention to create a mix of students in Aglionby, vampires<em> and</em> werewolves- we’ll need a couple more years before we can think about the humans. The plan was to have a couple undercover werewolves come in to pose as vampire students for a few months to prove they would not tip the balance of Aglionby’s perfect reputation.” He finished, clearly unaware of what he had just done. Adam’s brain was spinning around in his head, banging against his skull and causing an increasingly distracting ache.  </p><p>“I don’t understand what this has to do with me, sir.”</p><p>Child laughed as though Adam was a child saying something adorably funny. “Well, you’re one of those students of course. I chose you because you showed great potential and I believed you’d fit right in here and you have. You’re one of my best students, Adam Parrish, you’ve done more than keep up with the vampires- you’ve surpassed them, you’re the perfect example of a raven boy.”</p><p>Adam stared at the man for a moment, taking every piece of information apart in his brain to find a trap. He grew up believing anything too good to be true generally was. Any piece of candy could look sweet but taste sour.</p><p>“Joseph Kavinsky-”</p><p>Child cut him off immediately, “Will be dealt with. Money and status can get a boy into Aglionby Academy but it can’t keep them here if they don’t belong.” Before Adam could inflict another weighty silence Child placed his hands on the table and sighed. “Listen to me, Adam. You were brought here as part of a project to prove werewolves can keep up with vampires and that they’re species doesn’t cause a distraction to the students. Now that you’ve proved that you are free to enjoy your life at Aglionby as normal and I’ll be letting the students know this when I take my assembly this afternoon. You, and the other wolves that will join us soon, will have the same rights as every other student. Do you understand me?” He spoke slowly and carefully, making sure Adam would be able to recite the whole script when he was undoubtedly bombarded by questions. He and Child both knew there was going to be an uproar of angry parents and aggressive students, Adam would need to watch his back when walking the halls and Child would need to fight to keep his position, the possibility that teachers would under mark him would always be a possibility and in the end he could still end up with a mediocre job and low title. It was a risky game with absolutely no guarantee and no back up if it failed.</p><p>Adam smiled. “I understand sir, thank you sir.” He said.</p><p>He was still smiling when he exited the office and nearly bumped into Ronan. The vampire had been leaning on the wall pretending not to be eavesdropping.</p><p>“What did <em>he</em> want?” Ronan asked with a shrug. His relationship with their Headmaster was a complex one filled with a multitude of second chances on Child’s behalf and an abundance of disinterest on Ronan’s.</p><p>“Aglionby is opening up to werewolves.” He said, unable to keep the smile off his face. He didn’t tell Ronan the whole story, scared of any quiet figures roaming the halls around them. Kavinsky had birds all over the place and Adam wanted to be the one to tell him that he had lost.</p><p>Ronan turned away with a low laugh. “It’s not going to be that easy, Parrish.” He said, almost cruelly.</p><p>“Do you still love me?” Adam asked the vampire’s back. Now that his education had been returned to him he wondered if he would ever be able to have his love back. Time wasn’t a limit for him- Ronan Lynch was worth every second of forever.</p><p>Ronan’s shoulders lifted slowly and dropped with a small sigh. “I do.” He sounded upset about it, like loving Adam was an illness he couldn’t cure. He waited a moment, letting the sentiment grab hold of Adam, before walking away.</p><p>Adam waited until Ronan was completely out of sight before he spoke. “I know you’re there, come on out.” He told the familiar scent hiding around the corner.</p><p>Noah Czerny, face emotionless but hands clasped behind him like a guilty child, crept out and stood closely in front of Adam. His wide eyes bore into Adam’s own  and shamed him without having to say anything at all.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Noah.” Adam sighed.</p><p>“You don’t have to be.”</p><p>Adam raised an eyebrow at the strange vampire. He wished he had gotten to know him more during their time together, he was a complex boy with an abundance of amusing characteristics, impossible to understand but easy to like.</p><p>“There’s a movie night at Monmouth tonight.” Noah said, straight-faced.</p><p>Adam laughed quietly, “I don’t think I’m invited.”</p><p>“It’s just me, Gansey and Blue. Ronan will be in Cabeswater, where he’s been every night since you broke him.” Noah didn’t mean to be hurtful but Adam still flinched at the bluntness of his words. Before he could answer back to tell Noah Ronan needed space just now he had disappeared, his speed among other things had always been more vampire than others. His intuition was also a spectacular skill, something Adam had never been that great at, and so he decided to trust Noah.</p><p>Cabeswater was as mystical and large as ever. A place like this was a grand home for someone who didn’t want to be found, but to their surprise Adam could find his favorite scent in a field of pungent flowers. No amount of lavender could mask the leather and smoke that radiated from Ronan Lynch.  </p><p>He heard him coming, of course, but made no action of acknowledgement. He continued to move his hands through patches of lavender, twisting the green stems with his fingers.</p><p>“I’m tired Ronan.” Adam sat a few meters away from him, a patch of lavender between them. “I’m tired of wanting things. A life. Aglionby. Gansey, Noah and Blue. I want <em>you</em> so much it drains the life out of me.”</p><p>Ronan snarled a laugh and ripped the flower from its place in the ground. “And how do you think I feel Adam? Refreshed and happy? You already drained me, I have nothing left to give you.” He said, throwing the grasped flower onto the dirt and glaring at it with hatred. </p><p>“Then let <em>me</em> give you things.” Adam suggested faintly. He had nothing prepared to say, no words already on the tip of his tongue that could make this any better. He had no clue what Ronan would throw at him to deal with but he knew how he wanted it to end and he would do what he could for that ending. “Let <em>me</em> be the one to give you gifts and take you places. Let me tell you my secrets. Let me tell you that I love you.” He tried to say this all to Ronan’s face but his eyes wouldn’t allow it. His eyes could only focus on the way his hands grasped each other tightly and shook at different paces, his left hand the fastest and his right a second behind. </p><p>“I can’t trust you.” Ronan said simply.</p><p>“Trust is earned. Let me earn it back.” Adam protested weakly.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>Adam sniffled, he didn’t want to cry, it would look like an attempt to guilt Ronan and he had pushed enough manipulation on him already. “I don’t know.” He admitted.</p><p>“Adam, look at me and tell me<em> how</em>.” Ronan demanded in what sounded like a tired voice.</p><p> Adam closed his eyes and took in large, lavender heavy, breath. He pictured the way Ronan’s mouth used to be in a fixed curve around Adam, how beautiful that smile really was, and when he opened his eyes he half expected to see it but was met with the frown Ronan gave to the people he was indifferent to.</p><p>“Tell me how I’m supposed to believe this isn’t another trick.” Ronan asked.</p><p>“What if I leave Aglionby?” Adam whispered.</p><p>Ronan squint his eyes, “How would that help?”</p><p>“The only reason I hurt you was because I valued my education over everything. If I quit Aglionby it would prove that I valued <em>you</em> over anything else.” Adam told him with a pleading trembling lip. If he could only have one of his desires it would be Ronan. He would become the person who lives by the beating of their heart instead of the greatness of their brain.</p><p>“You would do that? For me?” Ronan asked, eyebrows rose as far as possible.</p><p>“Yes.” Adam said, hoping the quickness of his answer could exhibit the surety he felt.</p><p>“Even though Aglionby is starting to accept werewolves?” Ronan added. It made sense that after all Adam put him through he wasn’t willing to trust his words so quickly.  Ronan lived by his heart but his brain still gave advice when needed.</p><p>“Even so.” Adam nodded. “I’d join Blue- she seems to have a good enough education to hold onto her smart sarcasm.”</p><p>The beginning of a smile perched at the side of Ronan’s mouth but didn’t grow into anything else. “And you’d be fine with that? You’d be fine with graduating from a public school and going to a normal college?” He asked.</p><p>“As long as I knew I had you to come back to I’d be fine going to <em>any</em> college.” Adam agreed. It pained him to be drawing an ‘x’ over his dreams of Harvard but it was better than having that ‘x’ over his life with Ronan.</p><p>Ronan shuffled his body over until he was sitting directly on top of the lavender patch that separated them. He reached a hand to the back of Adam’s neck and pulled him forward. The kiss was just like their first- it started with uncertainty and then became a fight to get closer. Adam grabbed Ronan’s sides and pulled him tighter towards him, Ronan clutched tightly with both hands around Adam’s neck. They refused to let go, scared that they would fall away from each other again.</p><p>Eventually Adam needed to breathe and he pulled his mouth away from Ronan, only slightly. His breathing rustled the long lashes on Ronan’s eyes.</p><p>“Stay at Aglionby.” Ronan whispered against Adam’s skin. “Stay with me.”</p><p>“I will. I promise.” Adam replied, leaning forward so that their foreheads were touching.</p><p>His wolf whined in happiness and he couldn’t resist the motion to shine his eyes into Ronan’s. As a young boy his teachers told the story of ancient werewolves who believed in the existence of soulmate’s. A werewolf could find their soulmate by exhibiting their true eye color into the pupil of their partners. If their partner could withstand the brightness for more than a couple seconds, they were deemed soulmates.</p><p>Ronan’s unblinking eyes looked into his for what felt like a lifetime before he broke the contact for a second kiss. Adam smiled against Ronan’s mouth and both boys pretended not to notice the tears that fell from Adam’s eyes.</p><p>He knew it wasn’t over yet. Blue and Noah had helped him here but he knew he wasn’t forgiven by Gansey. Werewolves would be legally accepted into Aglionby but that didn’t mean the students would be accommodating. And Joseph Kavinsky would no doubt make an appearance at some point.</p><p>He had his work cut out for him, but he had Ronan by his side and that meant tomorrow would be better than the day before.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to stress that it's not over yet guys! About 3 chapters left.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Sargent Pack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Would you<em> quit</em> wriggling around so much, you’re distracting my driving.” Ronan chastised him playfully.</p><p>They had spent a long time in Cabeswater last night, both of them getting to know the real Adam Parrish, and every time he blinked he expected Ronan to disappear from his grip but it never happened. Their time in Cabeswater had been a turning point for them- it was as though there was a secret vine wrapped around their wrists pulling them together. They spent the night at St Agnes together in bliss, it was as though life had finally recognized they needed a break and threw them a bone after starving them for so long. </p><p>“When did you start caring about your driving skills?” Adam scoffed as he picked at the skin on his thumbs. He had many nervous ticks that were reserved for exam time but considering his day to day life had become more stressful than the impending doom of high school examinations it was only right that they showed up. Soon he would begin to grind his teeth into dust, next would come the eerie humming of children’s nursery rhymes- he didn’t imagine that would bode well with Ronan- and rounding it up would be shifting into his wolf excessively at random moments with not the tiniest of warnings.</p><p>“I care because I’m carrying precious cargo.” Ronan smirked.</p><p>Adam snorted slightly before going back to removing his skin.</p><p>“For real, Parrish, relax. “</p><p>“Relax? I’m going to school as I am- a lying werewolf- to deal with Joseph Kavinsky and his range of followers who will most likely try their very hardest to kill me or at the very least maim me a lot, and to add to that there’s Richard Gansey.” Voicing his concerns had caused his wolf to get worked up and his claws extended into the soft flesh of his thumb before he had a chance to move his hands apart.</p><p>Ronan groaned and quickly fit his car into one of the remaining spaces outside Aglionby before reaching over and grabbing Adam’s hand, his nails retracted immediately.</p><p>“No one is going to lay a hand on you, Adam, not whilst we’re around.” Ronan promised, placing one hand on his cheek, the cold flesh snapped him into reality whilst also giving him comfort.</p><p>“We?” He asked, dumbly.</p><p>“You don’t have to worry about Gansey.” Ronan nodded his head to a space behind Adam and when he turned around he was able to see Noah and Gansey watching them. Noah grinned and waved his hands in a greeting but Gansey stayed worryingly still.</p><p>“Have you ever seen a mother bear protecting her cub?” Adam asked the vampire.</p><p>“Gansey is <em>not</em> a bear and I’m not a damn cub.” Ronan groaned as he got out of the car. He walked towards his friends and gestured that Adam should follow.</p><p>Adam remained in the car, hoping Ronan would eventually lock him in it to keep him safe, but the danger ended up joining him in the front seat.</p><p>Richard Gansey closed the door behind him and stared straight ahead as if he didn’t realize Adam was sat beside him. Adam would prefer an actual mother bear to be sitting beside him, he would understand his fate much better. </p><p>“I haven’t forgiven you.”</p><p>Adam shrugged, “Didn’t expect you to.”</p><p>“I haven’t forgiven you,” Gansey repeated. “But I will one day.”</p><p>Adam’s neck was rewarded with sharp pain when he snapped it around to face Gansey. After expecting complete hatred and aggression he was more than ecstatic with the prospect of eventual redemption. He was certain he didn’t deserve it but he was learning that the trait of selfishness was sometimes crucial to life.</p><p>“You’ll need to be alive for me to forgive you on that day, of course, so I’m going to help you.” Gansey told him. He wasn’t smiling but there was evidence of kindness in his words and eyes. “Just don’t be inane enough to hurt him again.” He bared his teeth at Adam almost reluctantly. </p><p>Adam smiled, “I won’t. I promise.”</p><p>Gansey <em>almost</em> returned the smile, which was as much progress as he could ask for.</p><p>Gansey couldn’t have possibly known just how hard a job protecting him was going to be. The first time Adam went to the bathroom a group of second year students attempted to put a dog collar and leash on him before a passing student helped him get away. Adam wasn’t sure of the helpful students name but he had made an incredible difference to Adam’s mood, one student had proved that Adam wasn’t fighting a losing battle. Change was possible with blood sweat and tears- three of Joseph Kavinsky’s favorite things.</p><p>The vampire mobster was being watched as though he was made of diamonds. The faculty of Aglionby Academy became his herd-shaped shadow as they tailed him at every corner. He couldn’t as much as spit on Adam without getting reprimanded. Instead of feeling relieved Adam felt as though he was watching a ticking time bomb. When you restrain a monster like Joseph Kavinsky you risk the chance of their energy getting stored for a grand surprise.</p><p>When school was finally finished, after a grand total of 6 werewolf rescues, the vampires were so exhausted that they would have been bent over catching their breath if not for their unnatural respiratory system. As a treat for Gansey and an introduction for Adam they had been invited over to Blue’s home- 300 Foxway.</p><p>Blue greeted them at the door, her hair in a million different places and her petite body covered in a strange gloopy liquid.</p><p>“I tried to bake cookies but they didn’t really become solid.” She explained at their confused glances. “I suppose we could always eat them with a spoon.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m not quite in the mood for food today.” Gansey answered, nervously fiddling with his hands.</p><p>“Didn’t you hear her Gansey- they’re not really solid so you can have a nice glass of it with your blood.” Ronan suggested with a wicked grin as he slapped his friend on the back.</p><p>“Ah, yes, good idea.” Gansey trembled.</p><p>After some hugs from Blue they were ushered through the house, ignored by about 7 women, and thrown into what appeared to be Blue’s bedroom considering its layout and decoration. Adam joined Ronan sitting on a carpet made from a variety of different materials. He had to shove Ronan over a little to get off of a particularly jaggy piece.</p><p>“Gansey,” Blue growled as she sat on her bed beside the vampire in question.</p><p>“Yes, Jane?” He asked sweetly.</p><p>“I can sense the invisible daggers you’re glaring at Adam, leave him alone.” She raised her hand and knocked it against the back of Gansey’s head. He winced slightly but Adam doubted it hurt. “You can’t possibly understand how hard it is to be us.” Blue nodded her head towards Adam causing her jagged locks of hair to clash with one another.</p><p>“Blue, don’t, he’s more than entitled to hate me right now.”</p><p>Ronan slapped Adam on the back of the head but unlike Blue he wasn’t particularly gentle, perhaps it was that last part of anger towards Adam or his need to act like a bastard in front of Blue that made him do it. Adam let out a low growl and Ronan repeated the motion.</p><p>“No one hates you and if you say that again I’ll put a shock collar on you.” His boyfriend hissed. </p><p>“I’ll bathe the remote in garlic.”</p><p>Gansey cleared his throat until the attention was back on him. “I don’t hate you Adam- I never have.” Eyes were rolled and Gansey sighed.  “Oh, well, maybe I did a <em>little</em> bit but not for long.”</p><p>“<em>Will the two of you just hug each other for god’s sake!</em>” Blue suddenly groaned as Gansey and Adam stared at each other.</p><p>Gansey got up immediately but Adam stayed on the ground, slightly unsure of what was happening and very sure that he was undeserving of it. After a push from Ronan he pushed himself off the ground and was swiftly pulled into a hug from Gansey.</p><p>“You don’t have to forgive me just yet Gansey, what I did was horrible.” Adam tried to whisper, hoping Gansey would feel more comfortable knowing his girlfriend couldn’t hear and reprimand him, but he knew it was inevitable that Blue’s super hearing would pick up the gist of it.</p><p>“It <em>was</em> horrible,” Gansey agreed. “But so was your life Adam. It’ll take some time for me to trust you but I <em>do</em> forgive you.”</p><p>“You said you’d forgive me <em>one day</em>, it hasn’t even <em>been</em> one day since you said that.” Adam spluttered a laugh at the vampire’s haste to mend their relationship. He would have waited years to deserve Gansey’s friendship but apparently all he needed was a little push from a tiny, moody werewolf.</p><p>“I just can’t stay mad at you, Adam.” Gansey laughed, his voice sounded teary so Adam pulled his arms tighter.</p><p>He was beginning to question how long they had been hugging for when Ronan let out a loud cough. “I’m sorry but I would like you to let go of my boyfriend now.”</p><p>“Yeah, let go of him Gansey.” Blue agreed. “Give him to me next.”She laughed, jumping up from her bed and removing Adam from Gansey’s grip so she could replace his coldness with her warmth.</p><p>“Me next, me next!” Noah chirped as he bounced from foot to foot in front of Blue. Instead of letting go she simply pulled Noah closer so he was in-between them. Another pair of arms snaked around Adam’s waist and the scent of Ronan found its way into their hug.</p><p>“Well, that’s not fair.” Gansey mumbled as he too packed himself into the embrace.</p><p>After some time they were interrupted by the door opening. “Is Adam in the middle of that or did one of those blood suckers put him in hospital.” A gruff voice asked.</p><p>“Calla!” Blue chastised the women as she pushed herself out of the strange little circle of hugs.</p><p>The women, Calla, simply shrugged with an evil smirk on the side of her mouth. Beside her were two other women, one with a cloud of pale blonde hair and dark eyes, and one who resembled an older, taller Blue Sargent. Adam was slightly terrified of her in an instant.</p><p>“Throw out the knives dear, you won’t be needing them anymore.” The blonde one caught his eyes as she spoke, making it clear who she was directing the statement at. Though she spoke of things she couldn’t possibly have known about her face gave no recognition of it being abnormal.</p><p>“Knives?” Gansey repeated in a loud, ringing voice.</p><p>“If you don’t need them, Adam, can I have them? I’d quite like to try juggling.” Noah asked- sweet as sugar.</p><p>“No!” Blue yelled at the same time Ronan gave an enthusiastic nod.</p><p>“Come on, Sargent, just let him <em>try.</em> Don’t squash his dreams.” Ronan complained. It was clear that the dreams spoken of where more likely to be Ronan’s than Noah’s.</p><p>“For the love of god it’s so noisy in here. Everyone <em>shut up!</em>” Maura erupted. Calla looked at her, impressed, and Adam gulped- he was right to fear her.</p><p>One didn’t need a wolf’s nose to notice the power radiating off each women but there was a very specific scent centered around Maura especially. It only took Adam a couple of moments to realize it was the scent of a leader, she was the Alpha. Calla and Persephone, though just as powerful, appeared to be her joint seconds.</p><p>“Adam, come with us please.” Maura asked. She didn’t call to him as an Alpha and so he felt no burning to desire to do as he was told, in fact, he felt like he wanted to stay planted where he was.</p><p>“Say, <em>please</em>, Maura.” Persephone whined.</p><p>“<em>Please</em>, Adam. I want to chat with you but this lot are making me wish I was deaf.” She forcibly softened her face as she spoke to him to gain his trust. His wolf was still unsure but it respected her greatly and encouraged him to go to her. He supposed the human side of him respected her for raising Blue alone- to create such a loving but mouthy little thing with a hunger for social justice and thirst for defiance there must be something tremendously special about Maura Sargent. </p><p>“I’ll come with- wolfs unite.” Blue grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door. Whether it was Blue’s warm grip or Maura’s influence Adam didn’t know, but he followed the call of the she-wolves regardless.</p><p>Silence followed them through the doors and nipped at his heels to push him faster until he was ushered through a bright red door. Inside the room a girl not much older than him perched upon a high windowsill. She slipped her tall frame down to the ground and it took a moment for her bundle of dark hair to follow.</p><p>“Get out.” Blue told the girl simply as she and Adam took a seat on an old lumpy couch.</p><p>“Blue,” The girl drawled. “You can’t keep <em>all</em> the boys to yourself.”</p><p>Blue groaned, “You know damn well this is Ronan’s boyfriend.”</p><p>“For now.”</p><p>“Orla!”</p><p>“I’m just kidding, jeez.” Orla groaned, placing herself delicately on the floor with her arms holding her legs to her chest. “I’m a part of the pack as well you know- I have a right to be here.” The sulky essence of Orla’s voice had dropped but Blue impatiently waved her off and settled in.</p><p>Adam didn’t really know <em>what</em> he thought of Blue’s cousin but it wasn’t the time for him to form an opinion as he noticed multiple pairs of eyes latching onto him.</p><p>The three older women sat in front of them; Maura looking slightly awkward and bored, Calla with a rather aggressive smirk and Persephone as still as a tree on a windless day. The size of the room acted like an incubator for smells, he wasn’t used to being around so many emotional people in confined spaces. His fear and Blue’s excitement battled for top scent as Maura settled herself in to get started.</p><p>“Tell us a bit about yourself, Adam.” She said.</p><p>Calla snorted, “It’s not a job interview Maura you don’t have to be so formal. Tell the kid why he’s here before his tail gets stuck between his legs.” She barred her teeth at him, surely knowing the discomfort it caused. Calla seemed like the type of women who enjoyed making males squirm.</p><p>“Well, Adam, Blue has told us a lot about you-”</p><p>Blue grabbed onto his elbow suddenly and cut her mother off. “I haven’t told them <em>everything,</em> just the important bits.” Her eyes widened with every nod of the head. “Not the <em>bad</em> bits.” She clarified in a whisper.</p><p>“There’s bad bits?” Calla hooted.</p><p>Maura shrugged her friend off impatiently. “<em>Bottom line,”</em> She snapped. “We would like you to join our pack. It has been many years since a male has been part of the Sargent pack but you don’t seem to reek of male insecurity like many others and we believe you would be an excellent addition.”</p><p>Adam looked towards Blue but the she-wolf was too busy bouncing on her folded knees, grinning at her pack. Blue had asked him to consider joining her pack a few times but he had never given her a straight answer considering he expected to be hazed by her after hurting one of her closest friends. If he was honest he hoped she would ask him again but he didn’t expect it so soon.</p><p>“I don’t mean to pressure you but Persephone has seen many visions of you Adam, you <em>will</em> join the pack.” Maura told him. Though it seemed like an order he knew she was still giving him a choice. “You will have the attic to yourself but I imagine Blue will keep you company if you’re lonely.”</p><p>“I will too, Adam.”</p><p>“<em>Orla...</em>”</p><p>“I have my own place.” Adam said.</p><p>Maura shrugged as though he had said something unimportant. “Good for you. I wouldn’t ask for any more than you already pay.”</p><p>Adam recoiled slightly. This wasn’t like the conversation’s he’d had with the Monmouth Manufacturing boys when they argued his living conditions, his conversation with Maura felt like he was speaking to an equal who refused to coddle him.  He felt <em>respected.</em></p><p>“Mom, you are <em>not</em> making him pay to live here.” Blue whined in disbelief.</p><p>Adam placed a hand on Blue’s knees as she tried to get up from the couch to further her complaint. “I wouldn’t accept it if I wasn’t allowed to pay.” He told his gutsy friend.</p><p>Maura smiled at him as if she knew how he was going to react already. “Of course you’d be sharing bills with a whole pack so naturally it would be cheaper than your usual.” She shrugged. He pondered the logic for a moment, making sure there were no holes in it, and came to the conclusion that it was not charity. He knew in his short time at Foxway he had only seen a small portion of the women that paid to live in the building, it made sense that to go from living in the attic of a nocturnal church to living in the attic of a lively populated home he could expect less charges.</p><p>“Okay,” He decided. “I'll join the pack.”</p><p>“Oh wonderful! I do so enjoy when my visions come true right before my eyes!” Persephone mumbled in glee. Adam didn’t feel like asking about Persephone’s visions- when strange things happen around you enough you tire of questioning them.</p><p>“Would you like the others to be present for the accepting ceremony?” Maura asked.</p><p>He wasn’t sure if she meant the rest of the pack or his friends and boyfriend but he nodded regardless. Even if he wasn’t allowed Ronan would find a way to be there.</p><p>“Do I have time to change outfits?” Orla asked her Aunt.</p><p>“No, you don’t.” Blue answered instead. Orla huffed but didn’t argue.</p><p>“I’m just going to go get some air first if that’s alright?” Adam asked the group- his soon to be pack.</p><p>Maura nodded but Calla raised a bushy eyebrow, “Something wrong with the air we have in here?”</p><p>Blue offered to come with him but he wanted to have a few minutes alone to straighten his thoughts out. He sat on the front door steps and placed his head into his knees- a position he had used to calm his nerves many times before.</p><p> Logically, he knew there was no reason to be so nervous. Accepting ceremony’s were less of a ceremony and more of a small amount of time spent staring at your new Alpha as they transferred some of their strength over to you. However. logic wasn’t helping the ragged breathing and trembling limbs. He had been a lone wolf for so long and wasn’t sure he remembered how to be part of a pack. His old pack hadn’t been anything like he expected the Sargent pack to be like. His Father gave the bare minimum to his pack and expected their lives in return- it was more like a cult. No matter how nervous he felt he knew his present was going to be better than his past.</p><p>“Hello, Adam.” A voice called out.</p><p>Adam, head still between his legs, recognized that voice instantly. He raised his head and said to the man, “Hello, Father.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>slight cliffhanger I apologise! Just to let you guys know there is one chapter left and then a conclusion ! So technically 2 and it's done. Can't believe that, it's been such a long time coming!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Vengeance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Can I just say a big big big thank you to anyone who has ever commented on this fic. It gives me happiness you couldn't even imagine and makes all the effort worth it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I take it this isn’t a casual catch up.” Adam asked the man in front of him.</p><p>Robert Parrish was as big and commanding as he had always been but Adam recognized the difference in his eyes. He was growing old. He had always been at his Father’s feet, as low as dirt and just as easy to kick, but from what he saw in front of him Adam was no longer afraid for his life. The mighty Alpha could be pushed from his throne if Adam wished it so.</p><p>“I had a bloodsucker at <em>my </em>door, on <em>my </em>property, telling me <em>my own damn son</em> was out here pretending to be a filthy vampire.” Spit flew from Robert’s mouth as he advanced on his son. He stopped a few feet away from Adam but the motion wasn’t comforting, the gap between them would be reserved to create a forceful pounce.</p><p>Adam knew retaliation from Kavinsky would be sent his way but he hadn’t expected it to be so cowardly. The mobster would have hands as soft as a child’s after getting others to do his hard work. He wished he could see the look on Kavinsky’s face when he realized it was too late- Adam couldn’t be torn down, he had too many people holding him up.</p><p>“I'm not pretending to be something I'm not anymore. Werewolves will now be accepted into Aglionby because of me.” He said, feeling slightly ashamed at the rush of self-love he felt due to that statement. It bothered him that Kavinsky was partially to thank for his new life but he knew from history class that a little bit of blood and torture was needed for social justice.  </p><p>“You’ll not be going back there no more.” Robert sneered. “You’re coming back to your pack. We’re going to sort you out boy, make you <em>normal.</em>” He cracked his knuckles, reminding Adam of the part they played in his teaching techniques as though he could ever forget. When he grew, the scars on his back grew with him, never fading.</p><p>Adam hoped that his Father’s nose could pick up the scent of all the powerful women of Fox Way- and the vampires hidden in the middle of them. “I don’t need your pack, Dad. In a couple minutes I’ll be part of <em>this</em> pack.” He said.</p><p> “Bunch of she-wolves? You always were a little <em>fairy</em>, Adam- a disgusting excuse for a wolf.” He made a rude sound in the back of his throat before lopping a glob of spit at the ground between them. A growl left Adam’s mouth before he could think better of it. “You’re Mother and I gave you everything we could and you reward us with disobedience and the tainting of our family name.” He yelled, enraged with the delusion he was at the very least an <em>adequate</em> Father.</p><p>Adam shook his head, “All you gave me were bruises and impaired hearing.”</p><p>“Are you still <em>whining</em> about that?” Robert laughed cruelly. “It’s how we wolves train our young.”</p><p>“No, it’s how you abuse a child.” Adam retorted, stepping backwards to press his back against the Fox Way door. “I’ve had enough Dad- go home.”</p><p>Robert must have had an extraordinary amount of saliva in his mouth as he spat at Adam once more before reaching forward and grabbing his elbow. “Now you listen here, <em>you </em>don’t tell <em>me</em> what to do boy!” He screamed, rage pouring out of him in an all too familiar way as he pulled at his sons elbow; pinching the soft skin until it created pain.</p><p>Adam yelled, it was incoherent and loud, he was far too exhausted to be playing games, and then he pushed at his Father’s chest with all the strength he could manage in that moment.  Robert went flying and landed on all fours surrounded by a shredded pile of the clothes he had been wearing.</p><p>His Father’s wolf was the image of excellence tarnished only by the refusal to let his mate groom him- he thought of grooming as a hierarchy and didn’t believe Adam’s mother worthy. He was large and bulky both in weight and black fur, with markings of light silver that gave away his age.  Adam let his wolf take over and his Father let out a barking laugh. Adam’s wolf was small in many ways and resembled an omega’s daughter rather than an Alpha’s son, but Robert wasn’t as powerful as he had been before and it was a good day for vengeance.</p><p>Before Adam could pounce a shape swept passed him and pinned down the black wolf. Ronan hissed at Robert as he struggled. Adam’s wolf was unhappy, this was his fight. He let out a large growl that continued until Ronan moved away.</p><p>He allowed his Father to get up from the ground before he made his move, going straight for the neck with his eager teeth. He ripped away flesh, knowing it wasn’t too far for eternal damage, and spat out as much blood as he could.</p><p>The vampires were right- werewolf blood tastes disgusting.</p><p>Robert didn’t waste time tending to his injury as he went straight for his son’s chest, pushing him on to his back. He growled into Adam’s face, more saliva dripped from his mouth, demanding respect from the younger wolf. Adam mustered up all the energy he could and attempted to get out of the hold but it was futile, he was young and not properly trained.</p><p>Claw’s found their way to Adam’s sides and he let out a painful yelp as he felt the hot streak of blood litter his fur.</p><p>Ronan screamed his name and then he screamed for the sake of it.</p><p>After a few more moments of struggle Adam began to regain his strength, and then he gained more than he had ever had. He pushed himself out of his Father’s grip and went back for the wound he had already created to the neck. He pushed his teeth further until his Father let out a squeal, the sound was the most encouragement Adam had ever gotten from him, and then he dug his teeth tight and jerked his head to the side, his Father fell to the ground like a lifeless doll.</p><p>On the steps of 300 Fox way Maura Sargent had just let Adam Parrish into her pack and in the process gave him a portion of her own strength. A group of vampires and an abundance of she-wolves had been there for the ceremony and were all watching as Adam took control back from his wolf.</p><p>He had won this fight and wanted his Father to be able to hear that.</p><p>“Leave now, Dad, or else this is it for you.” He told the old wolf. “Because I’m stronger than you think I am and I can finish you, and it will be self defense. I’ll still go to college, I’ll still be important and you’ll still be nothing.”</p><p>The injured wolf let out a weak growl that ended in a yelp as the torn throat created problems. He looked up at his son, hatred in his eyes as there had always been, and he limped away in cautious haste.</p><p>Adam collapsed to his knees. Exhausted.</p><p>Blue ran to him first and draped a soft fluffy dressing gown around him. “For god sake Adam, you’re <em>naked!”</em> She yelped.</p><p>For some reason that was the funniest thing Adam had ever heard and he erupted into laughter. Blue gave him a worried glance but Ronan fell down beside him and Adam welcomed the rumbling laughter of his chest. Noah who could laugh at a piece of chalk fell to Adam’s other side to join the boys. Gansey rested one hand on Adam’s head and the other on Blue’s back. <br/><br/>In that moment they became what they always should have been. They were just a group of friends without a single care in the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay guys, this isn't actually the last chapter, I just didn't like meshing this chapter with the next one as it has different tones. <br/>So essentially this is the end of the story and the next chapter is just a happy conclusion!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Not the end, but the start</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A promise was broken.</p><p>Ronan had told him that no one would make him touch any frogs, poisonous or not, and yet Adam felt the distinctive beating of a tiny amphibian heart on his hands as they sat near a newly discovered pond somewhere deep inside Cabeswater.<br/>
<br/>
The name Joseph Kavinsky had become ancient history, as had the trauma he caused, but Ronan enjoyed bringing up all the deception and the lies and the pain so he could get what he wanted. “<em>Remember when you deceived me, Adam?”</em> he would say whenever the batting of his long lashes wasn’t quite cutting it. And Adam could hardly resist.<br/>
His life was near perfection, he could stand to hold a slimy creature for a few moments.<br/>
<br/>
“Adam, are you coming a run tonight?” Blue, head on Gansey’s lap and feet on Adam’s chest, asked him lazily.<br/>
<br/>
He sighed, grass tickling his neck as he done so and pinched at Blue’s bare ankles. She kicked his chest in a half-premeditated half-reflex motion and didn’t seem to care at the hiss Ronan sent her way. Noah had been dozing off down at the pond but awoke at the sound of Ronan’s hiss and ran to see the commotion. Adam handed him over the frog he cradled in one hand without any arguments.<br/>
<br/>
“I hate running with Orla.” Adam groaned. “She always runs <em>behind</em> me.” The she-wolf was slower than him so it made sense that he was always ahead of her but she always took her position as close to his rear end as she possibly could and it made him reasonably anxious.<br/>
<br/>
Ronan hissed again but the tone was playful as he said, “That bitch.”<br/>
<br/>
“Well, we’ll go without Orla.” Blue shrugged, moving her feet to lie in Noah’s lap after Adam’s pinching attack. Adam didn’t mind, he had secretly wanted her to move so he could nestle his back into Ronan’s cold, slow beating chest.<br/>
<br/>
“We tried that last time, when we got back she was in my room begging me to go another run with her.” Adam said, shivering as he was reminded of a post-shower Orla demanding he exercise with her. He knew she was all talk no game but was beginning to think he needed a lock for his door.   <br/>
<br/>
Living in the attic of Fox way was interesting to say the least. Somehow the single room was bigger than his complete flat at St Agnes and he found it hard to fill with his possessions, but all he really needed were his necessities and Maura’s approval for Ronan to visit. Blue and Orla weren’t too pleased with the vampire occasionally sleeping in their attic but after a threatening lesson of the birds, the bees and the accidental babies the two girls let it go.<br/>
<br/>
He tended to go a run a few times a week to feel at peace with his wolf, he found that it helped his stress during exam time and coincidentally he hadn’t argued with any of his friends since he began running. He enjoyed the runs where it was just him and Blue when they became playful pups who raced and tackled one another, it was something he had never experienced growing up but his favorite run was when the whole pack got involved and he finally understood the merits of having a family who appreciated and accepted him.<br/>
<br/>
Gansey was a little grouchy that Adam had chosen to move in with Blue and not him but other than that he was back to his Adam-loving self, hiding presents behind a smile and giving fist bumps at every opportunity. In a move no one had been expecting Noah had dropped out of Aglionby and started a pretty popular video channel where he was paid to play video games. Ronan was completely envious of the ease Noah escaped Aglionby whilst Adam dragged him to class every Monday-Thursday. He enjoyed watching Noah play games but he hated being made to join in, Noah became very feisty when Adam sucked at it.<br/>
<br/>
At least once a month Adam and Ronan ran to the barn like hoodlums and got lost in the idea of growing old together somewhere safe and happy. Adam hoped it would be the barn they grew together, they had many firsts there and he wanted it to include their lasts.<br/>
<br/>
“Babe, Blue’s been asking you the same question for 5 minutes.” Ronan whispered in his ear suddenly, his breath tickled.<br/>
<br/>
Adam blinked, unaware Blue had been addressing him. “What?”<br/>
<br/>
“I <em>said</em> you’re making dinner tonight aren’t you?” She snapped impatiently.<br/>
<br/>
Before Adam could answer Ronan interjected. “Wrong,” He said. “It’s date night.” He informed the little werewolf. Adam wasn’t aware of any planned date but would never say no to the chance. The last storm that hit Henrietta resulted in the sharing of a bed at the barns and Adam hungrily awaited a repeat of the events that occurred that night.  <br/>
<br/>
Blue growled at the vampire in front of her, “Snake.”<br/>
<br/>
“I had him first.” Ronan told her smugly.<br/>
<br/>
And he did. Ronan had him first and would have him forever.<br/>
<br/>
Adam tilted his head back to catch Ronan’s lips. He didn’t care about the audience, they were used to the displays of affection by now and everyone could agree that after all the trauma Adam and Ronan went through they deserved this honeymoon period. He was no psychic but he knew the honeymoon period would last forever. No college, no barrier and no person could ever destroy what they built, they had already proved that.<br/>
<br/>
Adam Parrish had made a deal with the devil but he came out on top.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Only took me six months, got there in the end.<br/>I don't physically have the words to express my gratitude to you guys, you've gave me so much confidence in my writing and every like and comment put a smile on my face.<br/>I hope that this fic finds new fans even now I'm finished with it because after all the work I can honestly say I'm very proud of it.<br/>So in the words of our boy Richard Gansey, "That's all there is."<br/>Stay safe and keep reading, guys!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>